I see. The last two blockbusters in my general vicinity are long gone. All the video stores are gone, except the porn places, of course. Phew! There's friggin Redboxes everywhere now.
I'm afraid of Redbox....like a legit phobia. They make me think of the machines taking over the world. So innocent looking, then it steals your credit card, walks off on it's robot legs and goes and buys guns with your stolen credit card info. It's all downhill from there. They meet up downtown and sweep the streets of their human adversaries. The Army will be too busy in Iran to help. They're timing it perfectly. They're lying in wait. They know when you're vulnerable becuse they know when you're sitting there innocently watching a dvd, or they can estimate when you'll be coming by to return the dvd so they'll just get you then. They will crush the Transformers like Matchbox cars. My only hope is that I'm the John Connor of the era and that I am the only hope for the humans. Because I already have the jump on the Redbox killing machines, you know, I know what's going on. Now I just have to watch out for time traveling assassins.
Blockbuster refused to take my dvd back because th...
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