There's a girl who is always on the bus I catch to work. The bus there AND the bus back home. So she must be working near me too. Anyway, I feel strangely attracted to her. And I hate when this happens. Cause everytime I feel attracted to someone I end up imagining my entire life with them there. What it would be like to have a family with them. What it would be like to live with them. All sorts of fantasies. It makes me feel so pathetic! Thinking about life with someone I don't even know!
I haven't even had a conversation with her. Only asked her a question once, that was it. I'm too shy to approach her, I need an excuse to convince myself I'm not making a fool of myself.
I haven't even had a conversation with her. Only asked her a question once, that was it. I'm too shy to approach her, I need an excuse to convince myself I'm not making a fool of myself.
I desired her the same way one might desire water after a week adrift at sea. In the same way you imagine all varieties of water (with ice cubes, with cordial, flowing like crystal in a babbling brook, falling from the sky) so did I imagine my life with her. The sunday morning lie-ins, the play fights, the sex, the wedding, and old age in a cottage beside the sea.
And in the years of breathing her in, of looking for her as we approached her bus stop, hoping she'd be there, of all the interminable plans to write her a letter and drop it beside her as I got off the bus, of all the longing glances, the thrill of seeing her smile, how many times did I speak to her?
Not once.
Say hello to your girl. Don't let there be two people as stupid as I was.
Listen to dappled.