I'm not super religious, and I understand anyone's choices and beliefs. I know many religions believe in abstinence from sex until marriage. But in today's day and age, do you really think it's realistic??
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What if you only find out after the deed has been done that your husband/wife is impotent, terrible in bed and unwilling to learn or gay, or that you two aren't sexually compatible?
The result is unhappy relationships that lead to what society considers cheating, and then divorce if you two can afford it...
Having said that, you need to be able to ask yourself if you're mature enough to have sex adn then experiment with yourself (Religion considers that a sin too, but thats its own fault!)
The vast majority of people still have use of their hands and can pleasure themselves all they want, so I honestly don't understand why everyone's so eager to have sex with another person. On the subject of incompatibility, you should have already talked about sex, masturbating, fetishes, interests, etc. before you got married. Bam, problem solved... in my mind, at least.
I don't know, maybe I'm just a naive virgin. Yes, waiting is old fashioned, but that doesn't make it bad. Most likely it's the people who don't communicate that mess up their abstinence-before marriages in most cases.
He should be responsible for what is he doing and married person is really a responsible person.The couple who do illegal sex or sex without proper marriage are not responsible for their acts.This not only affect their lives but also the lives of the offspring or their children.When a child asks his or her mother who is his father then mother has no answer except shame and disappointment.A human being is not an animal.Do sex after a proper marriage otherwise abstinence is better.
Animalia
Chordata
Mammalia
Primates
Hominidae
Homo
Sapiens
You are a human animal
You are a very special breed
You're the only human animal
Who can think
Who can reason
Who can read...
Similarly the marriage is also the natural way to fulfill your sexual desires.
You said it is normal then tell me if u do illegal sex at night and on the very next day that person refuse to even recognize or owe you then what will you do?
If a woman do sex with more than one man then how will be the father of the born child?
you are starting to get annoying
plus what part of the world do you live in to make sex only afther marrige standard? most people where I live woud laugh at you where i live.
just to be clear I'm not suggesting we should all loose controll and have some orgie, that would be stupid.
I don't think abstinence should be taught to kids, because inevitable they are going to have sex so you might as well prepare them.
what ever I've broken that rule a while ago.
especialy cristians, islamic people I understand.
I am a medical student and i know that a man is a higher animal but here i am not teaching all of you biology.I am talking about ethics.Without ethics and moral values no society can flourish.Lower Animals are free to perform or do sex and it is their nature.If both do the same thing then what will be the difference between a man and an animal.?
The thing that separate us from the lower animals is that we think,we all have a thinking brain.We think and decide what is right and what is wrong.We all have emotions and feelings but we know how to control it.That is what the lower animals lack but it is not their fault because it is their nature.That is how the creator creates his world.If a hen has a thinking brain then it was possible that she wouldn't lay eggs and one can think or imagine other examples of that kind too.
When a person doesn't liked to be called a lower animal then he or she must abstain from doing things that lacks the moral values.
you can't say that marrige is natural because it was creatide by humans.
if you strip the concept to the core(in my culture at least)
it's the union between two individuals linked by love to provide an insurance fo potential kids.
one of the most unique things about humans is the varaiety in social structure, if you take an Indian and a new yorker think how diferent their life stiles are. take a woulf from india and one from america and little changes.
this is the diference between culture and nature,
out human nature is our desire to seek social gain (hierarchy), to find a partner, to procreate, to help other individuals even with out personal gain,to be in the company of others ecc. marrige is not one even thow marrige exists in most cultures it varies immensly: methods of celebration, motives (they can be politica, economica, procreational, compensation of one of the families, poligamy ecc.
and how do you define marrige? must it be proclaimed by the pastor\rabbi\shaman (ecc) or by the leader of the social groop or by the famelies of the cupple??
then not all culture have marrige, (yes some ancient ones don't realy).
even emotional expressions are more the same beetween cultures than marrige (we all smile to say we are happy,don't we?)
moral of the story
marrige=man made
smiling=nature
lets take an example of traffic signal.Any person belonging to any culture or society know what is the meaning of red and green lights.Red means to stop and vice versa.Imagine if i violate the signal then what will happen.Simple an accident.not only an accident but i have to face legal penalties too.
Assume for a moment that red and green signals are nature(you used the word smiling) and the rules i.e when to stop and when to walk are man made.Both are complementing each other.Rules are made to make the life simple.When we don't follow the rules we make our lives complex with our own hands.
it is not because we belong to different societies.It is what are we following a proper guideline or not.As i said earlier,what you do is not a standard.What we do is we make our desires the reference standards and hate to see beyond it.
I am not criticizing anyone .Read my comments in the same spirit as i have written it.
Don't argue with me try to understand me.
Smiling always does not mean a person is happy.Humans are complex emotional creature.It is our standard that a person is smiling then he is happy and unhappy if he is weeping.How can one differentiate between ''nature'' and ''man made''.
What i am saying is whether it is nature or any man made rules both are complementing each other because man learned from nature and legislate according to nature.That's why we say ''Rule of Law.'' (nature drives the rules)
In my country marriage is a proper social rule which is followed by everyone.If one doesn't follow then he/she faces the proper legal and social consequences and that is the big reason that our relations are strong.We live as a family.We celebrate each day as mother and father's day.My country is void of any old home.My parents are over 60 but they are not a burden on me instead i am happy to see them everyday and feel lucky to have them with me.
I don't know about your country but in U.S and U.K i didn't see this kind of environment until now.Although i have seen many old homes in there old people live with tears in their eyes and only those people can feel who have an insight eye.
I will not discuss this thing any more.I know it is your cultural values and you are right in your scenario.
I apologize if anyone felt bad or disgusted.......
also lack marrige dosen't mean that families are more divided, I too am gainst old peoples homes unless the elder person in question, has such bad heath\mental problems that he\she disrupps family life and can't receve correct care at home.
where I live (italy)family is very important, most family members live closly together, even under the same roof, for example I live next door to my parents, my aunts, uncle,cousins,and grand parents live live together only 5 min.walking away. only my brothers who are abroad fo work are away. most of my neighbours of my road are extended families, (like nest door two sisters,and their husbands and sons live together). only half of my family is married but their partners still live toghether.
it's been nice talking to you, I hope you have seen my point of view, clealy we see things diferently.
It has been nice talking to you.I learned quite a few things from you.hopefully we will continue similar kind of healthy conversation in future too.
you don't have to put out just because someone else gets bitchy about the lack of sex
Abstence is total horse shit it's just to make shure kids arnt fucking they made me get one I broke that bitch 5 years ago Im 20 I don't give a fuckin shit my gf dosent ever want to get married untill 30 I'm not gona date somebody with no fuckin sex sense we are both old enough both want to FUCK A RETARDED RING IM HORNY