There was this guy who I liked as a friend. Liked and friend may be too strong of words, try tolerated as an acquaintance. I mean I didn't hate the guy, but I didn't like him either. Well no , I liked him, but just as a contact. He started calling me a lot, and at first I answered his calls SOMETIMES (like half the time or so) and would chat for a minute, a very short and superficial chat. But then he got annoying, so I started screening his calls. I ignored him for a solid 2 months, and he didn't take the hint. I was trying not to have to take it to the next level, which is to hurt his feelings. But I had to. The next time he called, I saw his number on my caller ID and picked up and immediately said 'STOP CALLING ME', and immediately hung up. I didn't want to make an enemy, but I wanted him to fuck off. I honestly don't even know where he got my phone number from in the first place. Did I do the right thing? What the hell else could I have done??
So if that happened to you, someone answered your call like that, what would you think?
So if that happened to you, someone answered your call like that, what would you think?
I think it would have been better to casually pick up and tell him this is not working, even on a friendship level, you feel harassed by the many calls and want him to stop that, and need a total break from contact until you see things more relaxed again(hey, nobody said that will ever happen...just a polite phrase)...
It's like, you can euthanise a sick animal, or you can use a sledgehammer to end it. At least you left the drill at home ;)
The irony is that your final reaction to him probably hurt him more than saying, "I'm not interested" would have.
Sometimes you have to be blunt. You might want to say "well he should have figured it out!" but... people don't work that way. Sometimes you have to be clear and direct if you want someone to understand what you want to say.
Hopefully next time you'll try the direct approach first. You don't have to scream anything... just say, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested." Wait to see if he understands that before taking it to the next level of screaming at him.
Sometimes a little hurt first can prevent a lot of hurt later.
i did the wrong thing myself in a way... i had a coworker who use to make lots of sexual comments to me and i was young and afraid of hurting his feelings by telling him the truth - that he was NOT attractive. And that his constant attempts were creeping me out.
i told a couple of friends but i said nothing - never even mentioned it to my supervisors who could have helped.
fast forward a half year or so and... i find out he was doing this to a lot of women and even sexually assaulted one of my friends.
if i had said something back when he was bothering me... maybe i could have stopped him from hurting my friend. but no i was too shy to tell him to stop and too shy to get him in trouble like i should have.
these days i'm no longer single so i find brining that up seems to be a good deterrent. and most people my age are usually sorted out anyway so they're over the stage of hounding a girl until she gives in.
or just a ' no thank you'.
i only get rude about it if they start acting like jerks.
They kept coming over and I finally told them that we have nothing in common and I am not interested in friendship.
They became very sad. I apologized but I wasn't going to let them waste their time.
A few months later when I bumped into him, he actually understood how silly he was being and we could have a normal conversation. You don't want a person like that as a contact if all they are is obsessed with you.
I am not saying you are one, I am just saying dont question why if you heard that he did, in fact, say that.
I answered the phone and said, Yes?
Is hubby there? No
Do you know when he's home? No
Will you get him to call me? Yes
:o) I didn't give any minimal encouragements of mmmm, etc just total silence or yes/no. The person on the other end struggles to think of what to say next. Very awkward and reserved only for the hateful, nasty people!!
"Sorry, I was having a day where I really needed to be alone and I took it out on you. Some days I really don't feel like talking." But don't be too nice otherwise he might start calling again. Personally I wouldn't bother apologizing, seems like you did a good job of getting rid of him.