When I was a child, my family told me that when I became a adult that they expected me to take care of them. My grandmother constantly tried to get this idea in my head, but my mother was against it. She believed that I shouldn't be expected to give up my life for her. It got to the point where I thought it was the right thing to do, but then I grew older and stopped listening to my family's ideals. I decided to want a life of my own.
I recently came to the realization that this relative just wanted me to be stuck at her hip and never leave home and live my life. I find this to be a bizarre and disturbing thing to try to get someone to do. Which made wonder if whether or not anyone else had ever been through this. Is this a normal expectation of someone?
I recently came to the realization that this relative just wanted me to be stuck at her hip and never leave home and live my life. I find this to be a bizarre and disturbing thing to try to get someone to do. Which made wonder if whether or not anyone else had ever been through this. Is this a normal expectation of someone?
I personally do not believe in sticking your parents, assuming that they are decent people, in a nursing home or having them scrape by on social security because you just want to "live your life". I think that that is one of the main social problems in the US that people fail to address because it applies to many of them and they are much too individualistic ("it's all about ME and MY happiness") to give a rats ass about anyone but themselves, hence why their children go undisciplined and get thrown into any daycare that'll take them.
But I digress.
In Western Culture, no it is not entirely normal.
If they were nice and the Ideal family, then maybe I could care more for them, but they're aren't and probably never will be. Some people don't change and some people do. They've hurt me to much to expect me to be "nice" to them and "stick around" either.
My parents abused me quite harshly, and my Mother has changed, I feel pity for them but I am still perplexed as to what to do with my father who is mentally disturbed. I'd be in quite a pickle if he retired and had no place to go.
I understand your rationale, if they are people that are toxic towards you then you are hurting yourself by associating with them.
But really I think the same way, i want a life of my own and I don't intend to care forth with what I tell them...
I guess she didn't get to live her life to the fullest. A spiteful woman for wanting to do the same to someone else.
It is the very reason people in the Developing World have lots of children. They know some will die but they think that the more they have, the more chance they have of being cared for in their old age.
However, for parents that have loved and cared for you all your life and who you love dearly this would not be a chore. For hateful rotten bitches, just nod and smile until you can get away. Then change your cell phone number - say you lost it, and force them to resort to that age-old art of letter writing :o))
You MUST have your own life, your choices and path would never be theirs.
Good luck to you!1