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My boyfriend looks at porn, should I care?
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My boyfriend looks at porn of other women. Should I care or am I overreacting?
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Comments (59)
What other porn would he look at if not of other women?

Perhaps his sex drive is greater than yours and he feels you can not accomodate him every single time. Porn is a healthy way to release sexual tension without harming anyone in the process.
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''No human was harmed during the making of this pornographic film.''
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But, it can become an addiction, yes? I'd say that it needs to be a much more careful process than you describe, not that I'm denying masturbation itself as a natural thing. I'd say I agree with this to a very small extent.
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Yes, it can be an addiction which can lead to erectile dysfunction because the reality of sex may not live up to porn's expectations.

Given the small amount of information I had to work with, I had to make some assumptions. If she had said, "he watches porn a lot" or "all the time" I would have changed my response accordingly.

Not that I'm disagreeing with you. I am simply explaining why I answered the way I did.
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Ahh... I see. I suppose we are lacking some key information.
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Nah, its like window shopping for men--as long as they look but don't buy its OK. If you act all upset over it, they will become deceptive, hide it and it will appeal to them even more.
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Wanking and sex are 2 different things to me.
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Lots of women watch porn whilst in a relationship, should their boyfriend's care?

Porn is a masturbatory aid, nothing more.

If the content is bizarre or illegal, or if he's choosing to watching porn instead of getting intimate with you, then caring is understandable. If not, then you shouldn't worry about it. 21st Century and all.
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Pre-emptive sorry to grammar nazis.

I meant boyfriends, not boyfriend's.

The apostrophe fairy visited my words whilst I was asleep and f*cked around.
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Fairies sure are fond of you, how cute.

It looks like the censorship fairy found you too. It won't let you swear properly.
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Yep - she's a right c*nt.
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Riddler
Is it kiddy porn? is it porn of a rape victim he locked in his closet/basement? Is it porn of a rape victim locked in someone elses closet/basement? If you answered NO to all of these NO. Leave him alone.
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This may be difficult but I suggest trying to not let it bother you. Guys are pretty visual and I can guarantee that a large majority of guys do this, the act itself having no other meaning than getting off. It has nothing to do with you or any girl and most guys have been doing this LONG before their potential girlfriends come into play. It would come off as controlling and insecure to say for example, "No porn for you or we're done!" as if guys don't see other attractive females everyday but chooses to stay with their girlfriend or the same for girls. Its also very possible that the guy thinks about his girl while watching too, playing out who knows what kinds of fantasies he has. I know I do. >,>

Seriously though, the actors on screen are unobtainable, undesirable, and while some can imagine their fantasies, guys more than likely need visuals too, thats all it is.
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Men looking at normal porn is not a threat to a relationship unless the female is insecure and gets jealous easily. The insecurity is the real threat not the porn because you will be seen as "the party pooper" or "mom #2" and will force him to start making it a habit of hiding things so as not to upset his woman. I've seen it multiple times in relationships that don't end well.
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Watching porn has literally nothing to do with you. This is his personal sex life. It's normal and doesn't reflect anything about your relationship. A man will watch porn and masturbate by himself no matter what. Do not worry at all about it.
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Im glad my men have looked at porn, without porn there would be a lot of women with very oversore hoo-has.
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To each their own but I find it degrading and disgusting to watch others engage in sexual activities when you have a significant other. Your boyfriend might aswell tell you to your face that you are no longer, or perhaps never have been, enough to satisfy him.

If you were enough for him, he wouldn't be interested in other females. If he respected or loved you at fucking all, he would not be watching porn. So yes, it should bother you.
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I have a lot of friends who agree with you but whether or not you like it 95% of men look at porn especially now that its free and easily accessible on he internet. I don't care as long as its normal porn(not kiddie or animal) and as long as he keeps it just looking and not cheating for real.
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"...degrading and disgusting to watch others engage in sexual activities when you have a significant other."

I've always found it so hard to understand that mindset :P Where does the idea come from?
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Agreed!
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Depends.
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What a helpful answer lol
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@: 44ds
The question isn't detailed enough to give any other kind of answer.
It isn't wrong to just look at porn, but if the situation calls for it, it could be wrong.
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@: 44ds
I'm not deliberately trying to be a smart ass, but it does depend on how much, how often and what kinda pornography this guy is using. Also it depends on how his use of pornography makes OP feel and how his use of said pornography affects his ability to be intimate with her.
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so yallre into adult diaper porn then?
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Nope, but it looks like you're into band nerd porn from the 70's.
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me so horny
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Okay, that's actually a pretty good one there.
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That depends on why you think you should or shouldn't care.
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It depends. You did not give a lot of information on the subject. I would say it's okay sometimes but if he's watching it every minute he has or he's becoming obsessed then it is not okay. If he is indeed addicted it is normal that it hurts you, don't let anyone invalidate your feelings.If it hurts you too much he should stop or do it less, to me it's just respect. I think it depends a lot of your relationship.Last point,It does not mean he will cheat on you but he is indeed being sexually attracted to other women. ( I don't think I gave a real point, anyway...)
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One important thing I think most people have overlooked in this case is the OP's religion. It's possible that it violates her religion. Since most people I know date within their religion (or similar religions EX: Baptist and a Methodist), I can see her having an issue with it. She didn't declare a religion in this or nothing, but I still think it's something important to this discussion and voting.
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I never liked porn...I feel it can cause problems he may cheat or not need sex as much with you.i would tell him not to watch it
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thegypsysailor
@: 44ds
Aren't you the one who flashes her brains, whoops sorry, 44d's at truckers? And you don't like porn? Oh, oh, a bit of a dichotomy are we? And insecure?
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What does flashing have to do with my husband watching porn? Wow...and because I've flashed a handful of truckers that means I'm hypocritical ? Watching porn can cause many different issues in a marriage. ..guess I don't care for it because I've always had a great sex life...;)
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@: 44ds
... Mom? Is that you?
=O

Oh wait, you have a husband.
Carry on, then.
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@: 44ds
how do you get negative dislikes
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@: sulli94
After you've been here a while, you get the ability to thumbs people down.
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It kinda depends. If you're the type who is interested in keeping your virginity, then you should go easy on him. But if you have sex with him then you should tell him to stop. If he watches porn then he will have a certain expectation for you to achieve and when you don't, it will affect your relationship.
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Should a guy care if his girlfriend owns a dildo? No, it's completely his business. If you care at all, it should only be to check and see what his interests are.
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he most not do that
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This depends on a lot of things. It's normal to masturbate and to even fantasize about other people, but you're not necessarily in the wrong if you are uncomfortable with his porn habits.
Like I would really have an issue with my bf watching porn if:
-he was looking at violent, non-consensual or underage stuff (real or simulated)
-he had more interest in porn than actually having sex with me
-he had a fetish that was honestly just too strange for me to handle
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Who said priest dont jerk off???? I think they just say that to make you think they are some super saint Beings
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In my opinion it depends how much. I had an ex who had stacks and stacks and stacks of it. Mags, dvds, those disks you put in the computer and god knows what was on the computer but i did stumble across some strange ones and hes even dled it on my laptop at my house and lied about dling it and gave my laptop a virus (he wasnt a very computer savvy person). I one time had a conversation with a good friend of mine and it turns out her ex had the same problem and that there were so many magazines that she would slip and fall on the floor if she would got to the bathroom at nite and he had to get this metal locker tower thing to put them in and so he had a huge tower of porn. I never imagined id know somebody whos bf had a worse problem. Now during the relationship, i did think it was strange, but i overlooked it and accepted it but there is a point where it gets out of hand and u have to admit this person is a porn addict amongst other things. I am married now and i have never once seen any porn hidden or anything from my husband. I thought that was not normal. I have asked him and he has said its not his thing. I have caught him jerking off once and there was no porn involved. I guess it really depends on the guy and how out of control the situation is.
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I don't like it when my boyfriend looks at porn. Simply because I don't want him looking at other girls naked besides me. I'm the, you look at me, and me only type of person. Not only that but I find porn to be very disgusting.

Nevertheless, he still watches it just not a lot.I'm not really bothered by it but that's because I don't see him watching it, nether does he tell me. It's kinda a out of sight, out of mind thing.

Whether or not you should care is based on your preferences are, how you feel about it, the type of porn it is and how much porn exactly he is watching. If he is constantly watching ALOT of porn he may be addicted to it.
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It is common, but I would say don't let porn replace a healthy sex life. so if you guys are happily going at it often and you're satisfied, then it's ok if he looks at por. don't take it personally, hes just doing it to get off. but if hes jerking to porn rather than having sex you need to sit down and talk to him about it. i look at porn when my gf is away or if she feels sick and cant have sex. but i make sure she takes priority. its easy to get lazy as sex takes a lot of effort but masturbation is quick, so make sure he doesn't get laxy. also keep him away from sadomasochistic porn, it's bad for his brain.
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You should dump him, this only shows that he most likely also cheats
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@: edna
He wouldn't cheat because he knows that I'd put out a cigarette on his testicle :)
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For me watching porn is considered cheating, just ask yourself if he had the chance to fuck any girl he watches in porn do you think he will miss it ??? So he watches them getting fucked because he want to fuck them but he can't.
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I'd only worry if you are in some of them and he doesn't know you are a porn actress.
Other than that, it's pretty normal for guys to watch porn.
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Ya do know there's port with gay men right??? I'm sure she wanted to be clear it's of woman!
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thegypsysailor
@: 44ds
Are you blonde, by any chance? Port wine for gay men but she wanted clearly women? huh? Blonde AND 44d's?
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Must suck being so miserable ;)
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@: 44ds
Was this in response to my comment?
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@: 44ds
Porn* not port..typo..For those simple minded people who never make a mistake and my cell won't spell porn on its own...I don't know where u got "port wine" duuuhhh
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thegypsysailor
@: 44ds
You psych profs must hate it when you turn in papers, if you haven't learned to proof read what you write yet. Honey, please don't blame the tools for your ineptitude and laziness.
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anti-hero
@: 44ds
You make several mistakes on every single comment you spit out.
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But it's for a reason. Duh. They are psychologists. Psychologists who cant make a coherent question or spell or make themselves understood.

They must earn top dollar for their services...
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