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What was your most embarrassing boner? (for men, obvs)
Favorited (undo) 52 Comments

Boners.

They seem to just stick up whenever they feel like it, don't they?

*Commenting your personal stories would be nice*
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Comments (52)
I lolz at tha manz with tha awkwardz bonerz...

Well I'm a girl but my boyfriend once had an awkward boner, he went with me and my dad to a family barbeque.. We were standing at the BBQ and literally the WHOLE family stood there, and without thinking I said 'Does your sausage taste good?' And he got a boner LOLZ, even my grandma and grandpa saw.. Everyone saw, he was so embarrased lmao
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My brother had morning wood once
We were sharing a hotel bed in a hotel room with my parents...
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At our Winterfest dance my sophomore year I was dancing with my very first girlfriend and during our first slow dance I poked her... God I was so emabarrassed
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OneMystery
I always have morning wood (boner when wake up).

I don't really mind with friends or girlfriend, maybe in front of a person of authority yes. But I am proud to have My boner! I am proud to be ... a MAN!
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To right Bro Fist to that
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when i was showering after football it came out of nowhere i literally had to choke it and the other guys thought i was jacking off i wanted to kill myself
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Had a guy on my cross country team who popped one while running.

and the girls noticed, so they had to make fun of him for it.
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I had to spend the night at my sister-in-laws house recently. It was kind of an unplanned stop, due to weather, so I called at the last minute, and slept on the couch.

Her husband left for work real early, around 5:00 a.m., and I slept until 8:00. Just before I woke up I was dreaming about having sex with my wife. When I woke up, the covers were thrown on the floor, and I had shed my drawers during the night, now wearing just my white, bikini underwear; and sporting a combin-
ation morning/naughty dream hard on.

I looked around the room quickly, and saw my sister-in-law setting in a nearby-by chair, drinking coffee and smiling at my barely conceiled cock. Worse yet, I was fondeling myself. I stopped and froze; she lifted her coffee towards me, smiled and said, "Now I see why big sister is smiling all the time. Boy did I get cheated!"
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Walking to the bathroom at my friend's house in the middle of the night. My dick was sticking through my boxers so I was trying to get it back in. As I fucking looked up again, I see my friends mom staring at me in the far darkness of the hallway.
All I uttered was:
"EH!- A mosquito bit me."
Then ran back to my bed.

Good times...
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Lol
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(im a female)My dad slept on the sofa one night my mom went and sat on his groin and immediately she jumped up and said something poked me we both looked down and he had a boner...lmao
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Church
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I'm in Manila and transportation here is really fucked up. I mean the train is like sardines, its filled with people and I mean "filled". So there I was standing in front of this hot chic; my "junior" is in front of her butt and made it "angry" so when the train stops or bumps, junior touches lady's butt, lady notices and looks at me, lady gave me a frown, and said "you pervert" and everyone looks at me.

That's the most embarrassing place I had a boner.
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When I was fifteen and had my first a female doctor. It was time for my yearly physical exam and as all doctors do she had to check for a hernia which meant to drop my undies. (this is usaully the last part of the exam) Everything was fine as she was just looking. Then with her finger tips she held the head to lift it all up in order to exam the scrotum... that's when it started to stiffen up just a little bit. Then doc started to examine the scrotum It felt like a caressing massage and I instantly got fully excited. Doc said for me to relax. When she reached underneath to probe and and tell me to cough...being so young and not yet in full control it flex in excitement and all I could say was "Sorry Doc". She smiled and continued the exam. After the exam she went to the sink and came back giving me a cold cold rag and said this should help you relax before you put your clothes on!
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When I was 12 years old, my two older sisters and one of their friends were holding me down and tickling me when I got a boner. They teased me and laughed at my boner poking up in my PJ bottoms. Then they looked at each other and pulled my PJ bottoms off releasing my throbbing hardon. It slapped my stomach and they giggled from the sound. I was so embarrassed!
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How big was it?
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You made me lol so hard i just imagioned the noise
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It happened on 9-20-11. I was in my biology class and i sit rite nxt to this girl that i like but im always to nervous to say anything to her. Anyway my teacher tells every1 to go to the back of the room so we can work on a class project. So im sitting beside this girl and we locked eyes for a quick second. She looked so beautiful and it turned me on. Nzt thing i know i have a giant hard on under my desk. I had to cover myself with papers and walk to the back of the room without any1 noticing. Especially the girl i like cuz idk what she would think of me if she saw it. What made it so worse was that i had to work with her so i had the boner for like a hour and a half.
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sorry im a girl but couldnt help reading this i fucking LOL hard cocks :) slip into my mouth any time!
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i think women should just realize that for the most part we can't control it...its like an animal or better yet, a beast, it just has a mind of its own most of the time. speaking of which...when you get a really bad "cut" or have surgery on your dick...and you can't get a boner cuz if you do won't the stitches tear? OWW
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one time my cousins came over from palm springs.. It was moring wood at 8 in the morning.. I they all came in my room and surpise me. I had to get up and hug them.. I didnt had time to hide it with my boxers wasteband. So ya dey saw my boner i think. I saw one of my cousins lookind down. They are all females.. Fuck my life...
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I was sitting in class then i got a massive boner, then the bell rang so i had to get up and go to lunch. I tried to hide it with my books, but that probably made it more obvious cos i was holding them in front of me while walking like a duck lol.
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one time a friend and me werel exiting a convenience store, there was an elderly man with a cane that dropped his cigarettes, so to be respectful to someone elderly like that (he looked 70 -80ish, hair totally white). she handed them to him and we got into the car, she looked up and said, (omg he has a boner!!!! to my horror, I saw that indeed, he had a full on boner, but a HELLA BIG BONER!!!! omg it was sooooo gross but so funnyat the same time!! I guess he got turned on when she bent over or something.. dirty old man!!
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ladeda
My friend got a boner on the bus, I was laughing so hard at him (yeah I'm an asshole)
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Gym class.
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It was probably the time I was showering after swimming during a gym class in high school. All of the guys from my class were showering in our Speedos after class and I was thinking about a hot girl in the class and got really hard. One of the other guys in the class was gay and noticed my boner and tried to hit on me the rest of the school year, which was awkward!
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I was about 10 years old and my mom was making me go through all my clothes to donate stuff that didn't fit anymore. She was in my bedroom with me and al I had on was a t-shirt and white briefs. The briefs were a size too large for me. I don't know why, but I had a boner the whole time! My underwear was pitching a tent big time, but my mom never said anything. The whole experience lasted about 15 minutes.
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Walking the ex out the front to say goodbye & having a kiss & cuddle out the front. Which then turned into a bit of a pash...
Then a handjob on the footpath outside my house!
A neighbour across the road started looking out the window so we ended up going into the house next doors shed (house was for sale so vacant) to finish things off. Came out & the lady across the road was STILL at the window (20-30 mins later!)
I wasn't embarrassed but it was just slightly awkward next time I spoke to her...
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Actually, I had a pretty embarrassing boner recently at college. I was wearing relatively thin plaid shorts and a tight shirt (tucking under waistband is was out of the question). Since, I sit between two fairly attractive women, I was forced to sit with one leg over the other with my offhand holding my shin in hopes to restrain the beast.
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I was 13 years old, just started high school. About a week after school started, my grandmother came to my classroom (she had written down my schedule) to pick me up. I was thinking about a hot girl in that class and was really workin' up a throbber. My nunu said, "I'm here to pick up my grandson," and she found me and pointed at me. It was a large class, about 35-40 students. My teacher said, "Okay," and nodded at me.

Everyone turned and looked at me and I turned red and paused and stuttered, "I can't right now." The teacher said, "Hurry up, let's go," and my grandma said, "Why not?" at the same time. After hesitating, everyone in the room still watching me, I got up from my seat in the back corner of the room and tried to push my boner between my legs while I stood up but it just popped back out when I took my first step. I had light shorts that were kind of shiny so it was like just a blanket draped over my dick. Everyone was shocked at first and then some people started laughing and then everyone laughed. I turned instantly and looked at the hot girl and she was laughing too. I looked at my teacher and grandma and they were both looking me in the eyes, my teacher was grinning and my grandma was horrified.

For the rest of high school right up until I graduated, people called me, "Boner" and "Boner Bitch" and "Biscuit."
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It was math class in hear seven. I was surrounded by hot women wearing tight, short skirts. I was called up in front of the class with a dick the size of a cucumber. I looked to see if anyone noticed and there was this one guy staring at it like 'ohhhh duddddeeee'.
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Only really happens at school. But I usually wear shirts that go over my waist band of my pants. So I just use the shirt to hide it lol.
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mine was in first period everyday,she was so beautiful.i would get one every single day.
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with the doctor
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Yup... me too... just recently had surgery.... wearing smock thing, nurse came. Got hard when she pulled the sheet over it, a lil more suave and could turned pre-op into porno.
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i'm laughing at the line... and at the fact that i filmed that one too XD
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I just always hated having one in school then being scared that the teacher was going to pick on you to write on the blackboard.

"Sorry Sir I can't. I've got a ..."
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when it pops right into a girls mouth
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Ha! Seems like that's an ideal place to hide it, at least from yourself!
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wanna pop it in 2 my mouth?
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no cuz ur a dude pretending to be a chick on the internet
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i got one when my cat jumped on me and started licking itself i have 12 cats and thats the only one that turns me on is this normal ?
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I really cant say any except when my friends girl danced with me and i got a bonner and she asked if
i was a professional tent pitcher
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sammisuperr
I'm a competitive cheerleader. We were doing this stunt, it involved a lot of butt touching.Anyways he got a boner. I felt violated...
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ages 12-17 i had practically no controll over the damned thing... "DING! sup?"
shcool it was pretty common to see other guys looking uncomfortable... worse still if there's no damend reason :S
"of mice and men, chapter three 'DING!'... oh, you gotta be kidding me..."
worst was when i was in french (har-de-har). our teacher was the only reason most of the class was there... and her bad habbit of leaning over us to read our work...
DD, slender, thick accent, thick dark brown hair and slightly tanned skin... and her boobs are now pressing into my neck.
because of my seating, i was rather flush with the desk. when i shifted my weight, i had the desk balanced rather awkwardly on myself... not cool.
worse still when she leans further to point out a spelling error and LEANS ON THE DESK!
mentally pictuing myself going cross-eyed as she tries to tell me how to spell 'the month is' still makes me giggle.
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I was at high school and right next to me there was a girl with really short skirt and beatiful legs, as she moved the skirt showed more. I got an enormous boner. At the very moment the teacher asked me a question and in where i live you stand up to answer it. I answered without standing up and teacher asked me to stand up.

I tried to position it so it wouldn't show but people around me noticed and they lol'd. luckly they were all males and I somehow managed to hide it from the girl.
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XDprofessional tent pitcher haha lol
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I was at a gay bar, it occurred in the bathroom with no stall walls or dividers of any kind just roll of tp on the toilet tanks
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confusedabit
i was at the pool with my 2 best gal pals and they said its fun to lay on youre back on the board while the waves were on but i had a boner so i said i should. that was my most awkward boner moment
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It was when I was 13 and we had the bar mitzvah stage and we went to a bar mitzvah that was far so they had buses to the place so my friend group and my girl friend group and other people were on the bus and this one girl part of our friend group had a boyfriend (kind of outside of our friend group) and she is kind of crazy and outgoing and she decides to sit on my lap with her feet kicking my friend and she had a big a*s and she sat right on my dick and she gave me the biggest boner and Im not going to lie i enjoyed it but it was soo awkward because there is no possible way she didn't know that i had a boner and lucky she is kind of sex crazy so she didn't really care (i don't think because she is also a drama queen so if she cared she would have scream) and yeah
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While dancing with a girl I had just met. She felt so soft and smelled so sweet I got a boner slow dancing with her. we were later married for 33 years
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LOL! TALL TEES
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