You've met who you think is your future wife, at least that's what you want her to be. Everything about her is right for you. She's kind, intelligent, educated, beautiful face, great body, and likes everything about you, including your dumb jokes.
To your surprise she tells you that her ideal version of married life is one where you are the sole income provider and she will stay at home and take care of everything else. Basically all you have to do is work, come home and relax. She will make your favorite meals, do your laundry, pay your bills on time, feed your dog for you, wash your car, mow the lawn, take out the garbage and clean your house.
To your surprise she tells you that her ideal version of married life is one where you are the sole income provider and she will stay at home and take care of everything else. Basically all you have to do is work, come home and relax. She will make your favorite meals, do your laundry, pay your bills on time, feed your dog for you, wash your car, mow the lawn, take out the garbage and clean your house.
Her's wouldn't be a view I shared, but I would certainly agree to it if it was what she wanted, so long as my wage was enough for us both to live a comfortable life on. If my job wasn't enough to live a good life, I couldn't be part of a marriage like that. Like so many things, it comes down to money.
If we have kids, then this would actually be my ideal situation, and I would work once the kids are old enough to live without my constant care and supervision (I'm a scholar and a career woman at heart, unless I can find a full time schedule in doing community service, but I'm sure I could fit it into a work schedule).
Sorry, men. I am NOT going to subject my offspring to an impersonal environment full of children from who knows what stock, if I can help it. I know that there are a lot of good day cares out there, but I prefer to care for them and educate them myself, until they are old enough for me to make the decision to send them to public or private school or homeschool, in which case I'd stay out of the work force. Young children that are at a critical point in development need their Mother and I want to be the one to care for them. No offense to women who do day care their children, I know there are advantages to day care, but I'd prefer to be more involved with their early years, if I have the option.
Those are my personal feelings about it. I want to be a stay at home Mom until I have confidence in my children's self-reliance skills, and I want to be present to teach them this self-reliance in their early years. The thumbs down button beckons you now. Go for it.
I'm not fortunate enough to have a high paying job since i didn't go to college. So... if we lived off just my pay we'd be struggling.
I always perfered female company while growing up.
I don't want a relationship. So this doesn't concern me :/
I think I was to be with someone, it would be someone like that. But let's be honest, finding someone like that is rare. Even today if a man is doing all the working hours and earning the money, the woman at home will tell him to clean something up, regardless of him busting his ass off for the money for the house.
I don't know why you would find that suprising, I would never ask a woman to work and do the housework and cooking, that would be unfair.
I don't understand how it would be unfair for a woman to work and do the housework and cooking, or at least a portion of it. It's how I run my house and it works for us, but I have a higher standard of cleanliness so I do most of the housework. I don't understand the mentality of a woman that works that can't pull even a minimal domestic load, but then again, I'm a southern Mormon woman. If you can't work, keep a nice home and care for your husband and domestic duties then... lol what CAN you do?
Maybe it's just a cultural thing XD
I think it's unfair if they're doing a job that involves just as much effort that the male is doing in his job. Why should she be made to do the housework and just as much financial work as her husband? If they both do a job that involves the same amount of effort, then both should do an equal amount of the housework.
Although, you do have a higher standard of cleanliness, that I think can be difficult if a couple is sharing the responsibility of house work, one might think it's clean, the other might think it's not clean enough, etc. But, if the one doing the cleaning has a higher idea of cleanliness, then I think it works if they do the cleaning, and the other maybe the cooking?
Cooking and cleaning really doesn't take much effort on my part. I was raised to be the main person that takes the responsibility to care for the house and children and I am a relatively high energy individual. I don't expect my husband to keep up. It's just the way that I was raised, don't wait around for someone else to do something, if you really want it done do it yourself. Well I usually really want it done, haha.
We work the same job, same difficulty, etc. and he does pull some share of the weight around the house but... I don't really think it's even a big deal, unless I were physically unfit or something like that. Like I said, I'm a pretty high energy individual. I guess for people that aren't as restless as me it may be difficult.
I think it's great the way you have turned out, I like the "If I want something done, I should do it" way you think, most people state that they live that way, but only a few really live that way, which is quite sad since it is a very good trait to have to show you can take care of yourself.
If it is a part of your culture or the way you were raised, then that is only justifying something because you were brainwashed to think it was acceptable from a young age and you don't know any better.
Women's equal rights and treatment starts in the home. And unequal distribution of housework puts one person above the other, even if you are not aware of it yet.
I have a high standard of cleanliness, so I do my own cleaning. You act as if I don't know better, but I was raised under different conditions over the years, and that isn't so.
Sorry, but I just like doing most of the domestic work. I'm a restless busy-body. I could have my husband do more, but I don't care enough to. I'm not going to put any sort of effort into "equality" of housework if I legitimately enjoy having the amount of control over the affairs of my household that I do. I don't understand what is so archaic about my enjoying doing things on my own. Helps me control my ADHD.
Besides, I just have my husband do all of the laundry. I hate laundry. With a passion. That's enough "equality" for me. Everything else is a breeze. But laundry isn't. He does other shit too, mainly cleaning up after himself. I'm not his Mom. Sorry, ItDuz.
I mean... really, what WOULD she do once the housework is done? In my experience, to keep a 4 person house where 4 people aren't horrible pigs clean may take about 2 days worth of cleaning, beginning and mid-week.
there's no point in being a housewife if you guys dont have kids at this moment. she can find some part time job or whatever. she's educated.. cant believe she just wasted that..
When there's children in the picture, I believe one parent should surrender their career for at least a few years, but ideally until they're a bit older. In my opinion, if both parents have to work full time plus to make ends meet, then they're not ready financially to have kids. Kids should be raised by their parents, not babysitters.
I think both partners should work and make a contribution. Why would a intelligent and educated woman want that for herself? It's rather suspicious. Please watch out for yourself incase she's crazy
Just the last two things, i've never met a smart one.
That's probably because you're a borderline criminal.