That's been an awful childhood for you but I think it makes us better parents. My mother was also delusional and is rewriting history now!!
The only thing I say to my son about a curfew is that if he hasn't contacted me near that time to tell me where he is then I get really worried that something has happened to him. It's more for my comfort than to 'ground him' I just don't want him meeting local thugs on his way home from a friend's house. Although, he knows that I am always happy to pick him up - should it be 100 miles away, his safety is my priority.
The only thing I say to my son about a curfew is that if he hasn't contacted me near that time to tell me where he is then I get really worried that something has happened to him. It's more for my comfort than to 'ground him' I just don't want him meeting local thugs on his way home from a friend's house. Although, he knows that I am always happy to pick him up - should it be 100 miles away, his safety is my priority.