I don't see why not. I'd even date someone who was currently cutting if I thought they were able to be helped.
I believe that everyone gets insecure, stressed and feels like they need attention. People who cut themselves to feel more secure, relieve their stress and get attention are no different to me to people who express those universal feelings in less destructive ways. They need to be helped, because self-harm is destructive, but not looked down on or thought of as inferior or even different to anyone else.
I've got two fairly close friends who cut or have cut before, and they're so secretive about it that it's very difficult to stop them. In one case, the school found out, convinced him to see a councillor and his situation is, I think, now much better. In the other, as far as I know she still cuts herself fairly regularly but is so secretive that it's impossible to talk to her about it.
I've always thought it a strange way for society to think that if someone cries out for help, the best thing to do is ignore them. It seems logical to me that if someone cries out for help, and they need help so badly that they'd self-harm to get it, we should give them help, not look down on them, patronise them, make sweeping generalisations about them, label them and ignore them. That is exactly NOT the way to make them better.
I have done, yes, and probably would again. I dated someone who became a cutter during our relationship (which says a lot for me). I don't know if I dealt with it right. I showed I was upset but I didn't make her feel any worse about it.
Yay! Another friendly face. When I first came back, I didn't recognise anyone but now all the old regulars are sneaking back out of the woodwork and I feel at home again.
Yes, it's really me. :D There was a dappled' a few months back that was also me, just visiting, but I don't think people believed it and they deleted all my comments and eventually even the story I commented on. Someone said there was also a dapled for a while, but that one wasn't me. Just a fanboy or something. :D
I took a 2 month gap and when I came back I didn't recognise many either although now I'm here on/off during one of my procrastination periods(this being one of them now... :/) Ahh I guessed so, although I was checking because a few days before there was this user who was impersonating space_ghost but with one less dot, also I never knew you could reactivate old accounts
lol, this is weird. I've just been talking to you in a completely other post about Spacey impersonation. While I was talking to you about it there, you were talking to me about it here. :D
Had to ask TheManagement directly if I could have my account back. It's the first time I've ever logged in and had more than a hundred notifications!
I voted yes because I use to be. Now it depends on the person. A girl I new at work would go around showing people her arm while I would do anything to hide it. A person who does it for attention would obviously need a lot of attention in a relationship and I don't think I'd like that. It's really what the cutting shows about a person than the actual cutting.
I used to. I wish I didn't, I now realize my stupidity of doing so. All it done is leave scars that will be with me forever. I had no reason to cut, so I just sigh when I look at the cuts and burns, there was no need for them.
If you're considering cutting; don't, you'll regret it.
Very true. My scars are ten years old, people still lookat them like it's a fresh mistake. They go on to tell me to stop cutting -Ten years after I stopped.
I would be more than happy to. Hopefully they'll listen. If they already cut, they probably won't. Still, 'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' (Michael Jordan. lol)
I would, I don't think judging a person for their problems is right. One should be judged for their positive qualities, and shown help and compassion for their problems. If everybody approached the world like this it would be a lot nicer place.
I used to cut myself and still have some scars. Not many people know, and I regret it. But seeing as I did, I'd feel a hypocrite if I didn't date someone because they did too. If anything, I'd be in a better position to understand them, or, if they were still cutting, find better ways of coping with stress having been through a similar mindset :)
I don't know, probably not. I know a girl with an extremely pretty fae, but she has scars all over her arms. It's a major turn-off, and she has some convincing to do if she wants to come off as mentally stable.
Cutter as in someone who physically cuts themselves intentionally because they think it helps them relieve their emotional pain or because they want attention sometimes.
I would if I was fairly certain that this behaviour has been corrected, is not likely to reoccur or develop into a worse psychological pattern of behaviour.
I definitely would if I knew they were past it. I have known several cutters before. It's certainly a touchy issue. I might not if I thought they weren't stable yet though.
It's quite seldom that someone would relapse into cutting themselves. If they cut themselves it's for one of two reasons. One: attention. Two: underlying problem that requires uh, attention. That need is usually met quite quickly, whether negative or positive. They then realize they don't get the answers they hope for and quickly stop, moving on to other things.
My wife used to when we first met 12 yrs ago, not really bad but every now and then. It was a method of coping with stress, with her father dying and her mother being a crazy person and her not having anyone she felt comfortable taking to. I helped her work through it and she stopped. The scars are very faint now and there's not many, but it seems like she has that part of her past blocked from her memory because every now and then she'll look at them and honestly wonder where they came from, based on that I doubt there will be any relapse.
As one who SIs, I would have no problems dating another cutter. In fact, I would prefer to be around someone who understands what it's like. It's REALLY difficult for normal people to understand..in fact, unless you do it, you will NEVER understand. So, I think I would prefer a fellow self-injurer.
I actually would love to date someone like that. I love talking to people and understanding how their mentality works. People who have a low self esteem, which I think you must have if you are willing to commit self-mutilation, open up about their feelings easier than someone with a high level of confidence. On top of all that, and this might make me sound like an asshole, but I've always wanted to be a girl's hero. Like someone who will always be there for them and they'll appreciate me for listening to them.
I would. Simply because I use to be a cutter. I wasn't really intense about it, but I still have scars to show it. If they use to be, and they aren't now, then it's really not a big deal at all. It's part of their past that made them who they are now. My boyfriend knows about it, and he does say it wasn't very smart, but he also knows that it's just my past. He knows I'm embarrassed to admit to it, and he respects me for who I am today. And I didn't do it for attention like a lot of people will assume. In my life off of here, only 3 close people to me know about my past self injury. I did it in places that weren't obvious to the world, so most people didn't even see. Some people do it for attention, I won't deny that though.
Yep, I am with someone who used to, its just how some people decide to deal with their shit I guess, she doesn't do it now knowing itd upset me because I don't want her to be hurt in any way but yeah, dating someone who does/used to cut is normal.
I believe that everyone gets insecure, stressed and feels like they need attention. People who cut themselves to feel more secure, relieve their stress and get attention are no different to me to people who express those universal feelings in less destructive ways. They need to be helped, because self-harm is destructive, but not looked down on or thought of as inferior or even different to anyone else.
I've got two fairly close friends who cut or have cut before, and they're so secretive about it that it's very difficult to stop them. In one case, the school found out, convinced him to see a councillor and his situation is, I think, now much better. In the other, as far as I know she still cuts herself fairly regularly but is so secretive that it's impossible to talk to her about it.
I've always thought it a strange way for society to think that if someone cries out for help, the best thing to do is ignore them. It seems logical to me that if someone cries out for help, and they need help so badly that they'd self-harm to get it, we should give them help, not look down on them, patronise them, make sweeping generalisations about them, label them and ignore them. That is exactly NOT the way to make them better.
Yes, it's really me. :D There was a dappled' a few months back that was also me, just visiting, but I don't think people believed it and they deleted all my comments and eventually even the story I commented on. Someone said there was also a dapled for a while, but that one wasn't me. Just a fanboy or something. :D
Ahh I guessed so, although I was checking because a few days before there was this user who was impersonating space_ghost but with one less dot, also I never knew you could reactivate old accounts
But welcome back dappled ^________^
Had to ask TheManagement directly if I could have my account back. It's the first time I've ever logged in and had more than a hundred notifications!
If you're considering cutting; don't, you'll regret it.
Atually, I'd think you'd be surprised how many people (and who those people are) used to be cutters.
That need is usually met quite quickly, whether negative or positive. They then realize they don't get the answers they hope for and quickly stop, moving on to other things.
=]
Oh, my. Now you look like my Grandmother.
Yea, dump the cutter.
My boyfriend knows about it, and he does say it wasn't very smart, but he also knows that it's just my past. He knows I'm embarrassed to admit to it, and he respects me for who I am today.
And I didn't do it for attention like a lot of people will assume. In my life off of here, only 3 close people to me know about my past self injury. I did it in places that weren't obvious to the world, so most people didn't even see. Some people do it for attention, I won't deny that though.