What do you think?

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I have synaesthesia. If you don't know what that is, basically it means that you associate the letters of the alphabet with specific colours - A might be red for example, or B might be purple - or the letters might have personalities. So a lot of the time I and J will be an old couple or whatever, P might be a baby, something like that.

My form of it is different though. The letters have personalities for me, but every single one is disgusting and grotesque. Lowercase 'm' is a young boy who's always being molested by 'R'. R says that if m tells his parents, O and Q, then he'll kill him. O and Q have a secret BDSM relationship, which involves all kinds of twisted shit, like golden showers and stuff. B is their gimp. 'I' is always exposing himself to the lowercase letters. 'H' is a complete animal, he gets completely wasted and then beats the other letters horribly, they're all afraid of him.

People laugh but it's really serious. I found it hard to write this passage because every time I type anything I get this horrible feeling that the letters are doing something sordid. Reading anything is just as difficult. It's been going on for as long as I can remember, I tried therapy but it didn't help. does anyone else get anything like this?