Cheese...?

Ok so here’s the deal

Lately I’ve been obsessed with cheese i just cant help myself i know this doesn't seem a big deal but there’s more...

Well I’m an already man, 2 kids a wife but its all gone down hill because of cheese...

You see, the cheese has taken over a large portion of my life, not just what i eat but my sex life. My wife won’t sleep with me because i like to have sum cheese by the side and it turns her off as it smells. My kids are embarrassed because i smell

So hey i gave it a shot, it was a late winter night and id been sexually frustrated way too long. I knew the cheese would never judge me, oh the sweet aroma of the cheddar the texture of Wesley dale, you cant tell me the holes in Swiss cheese aren’t there for a reason

So as i was relieving myself over the cheese i heard a thud...My little girl, just 6 was behind me, she screamed and I tried to shut her up but my hands slipped off her mouth

My wife and son came rushed downstairs to see what had happened but saw me...me and a wedge of mature cheddar drenched in my manly fluids…

I tried to explain to them that it was just a coincidence the cheese was there, but they didn’t buy it and they’ve book me in for a therapy session next Tuesday

Do you think what I did was wrong? Is there anyone in my shoes?

Do you think it's normal?

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