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i just wanted to know if this was normal. I live alone in a quiet village in sussex, England. I am a lonely middle aged man with a severe facial difformaty, people call me Mr hippopotemous. One day i was taking a walk to the local supermarket to buy a mouse to feed to my pet snake. I was nearly at the shop when a young boy called me "funny dial" i reacted angrily and placed the boy in my large coat pocket, i took him home and abused him. The boy said that he was going to tell his mum and his jack russel. The only option i had was to strip him and lock him in my cupboard under the stairs. i kept him there for two weeks and fed him cat droppings and chopped lizard. I didnt think it was nice keeping him there so i made him a cage to go in my bedroom. He sits naked in the cage night and day, now ive began to feed him with my own feaceas from my potty. I also give him pure urine to drink. Im thinking of fattening him up and feeding him to my snake. I peel dry skin off my feet and mix it with cabbage to feed him aswell.

Has anybody got any tips on the best way to eat himor what to do with him?