nothing wrong porn,but dishonesty is the bad part,it sounds like he's being a little sneaky.and if you don't enjoy that funky porn,maybe you two aren't compatible sexually,better to find out now than way later. personaly,i'd go out with some one more compatible.

Well, it sounds like your boyfriend has a really dominneering(sorry if I multilated that word) sexual interests, such as cumming on girls faces, and clearly you have a reason to be against it. I am going to agree with magnum and say that you should find someone more compatable. But before you go and do something as drastic as that, how did you approach him about it? I mean, did you start yelling at him? If did that, then it's going to make him more likely to lie about it. Just approach him calmly and tell him why you are hurt from what he did. If he still doesn't want fess up, or discuss this with, he isn't worth your time. Find someone who will respect your wishes. I hope this helps, and good luck.

I think you're confusing your boyfriend's fantasies with what he actually wants. He probably plays violent video games too, but that doesn't mean he wants to kill people. Besides, most porn is titled like that. There's no "Sweet young girl gently has romantic, safe sex." It's all "SLUT GETS HER HOLES FILLED."

Why would anyone enjoy watching porn? Its a complete discrace to men and women alike. Just another thing that contributes of how stupid and perverted our society can get. I feel sorry for the people that get payed to expose themselves and portray sexual acts for complete srangers for a money. I'm sorry you porn fans that enjoy watching this disgusting garbage, but it just has to go. Whoever brought in the idea for porno is some sick perverted bastard. Tell your boyfriend to stop watching this shit and to appreciate you, not complete strangers. Good luck to you. -Skybird311

Ignore skybird, she has a stick stuck up her ass and lives in a little idealistic world that will never exsist.

Anyway, now that I got THAT off my chest....I would consider a discussion about why you feel hurt at his actions. If he doesn't reconize your feelings he isn't worth your time, but remember listen to his side of the story. And I fear I have to disagree with the "all porn is called SLUT GETS ALL HER HOLES FILLED" I have seen some rather romantic porn that is based towards women who are into that.

There's nothing wrong with porn and I don't know how skybird can speak for the guys here.

In this case you need to speak with your b/f, but if I were in your shoes i'd be pretty pissed off.

hey, I don't know you or your boyfriend, nor do I know what kind of people either of you are, but it sounds to me as though your sex life is either poor or non existent? this is nothing to be ashamed of, we have all been there, trust me, just you say your boyfriend looks at porn regulary yet you don't mention your sex life at all? maybe the problem lies between you both as apposed to just him? I suggest you talk to your boyfriend, ask him why he is looking at it so often and (if this is the case) why isn't he satisfying himself with you instead? you also have to look at it this way, if he isn't pleasing you in the bedroom would you rather he was cheating on you or looking at porn? In my mind I think both are just as bad, I mean if he would rather masturbate over some slapper on the net than sleep with you he may as`well be cheating! As you can prob tell I have experienced this many a times, take my advice and finish with him, find a real guy willing to please you and himself at the same time! x x take care x x

everyone loves cumsluts!

High five skybird. High five. I mean i used to look at porn (not proud of it, don't ask, don't tell). I find it sick and morally degrading and WRONG! It is sick enough to look at other people letting themselves getting abused.

It would be interesting to hear from some guys on this. I am in a similar situation. I have absolutely no issues with porn. My boyfriend recently joined the modern technological world, and has discovered all the peer to peer sites where you can download porn vids. i think this is totally normal on a general level but he is getting more stuff every day, burning it onto cds, and trying to hide it from me but I can clearly see it on his computer, which i have to use sometimes. i am a hot girl and am great in bed. these basically nothing in those movies i won't do myself. we have a really really great sex life - usually twice a day. however, we keep really different hours and one of those times is always after he comes to bed at like 4 am during which time I totally know he has been watching porn while i'm sleeping. is this just a novelty thing b/c he all of a sudden has access to all this free stuff or is it something i should be concerned about? like i said, if it was just the general idea i wouldn't even care, i'm just wondering about the volume.

Hi,

First of all Porn in general is not a disgusting thing, it is just SEX afterall, a natural thing.

The only porn that is disgusting (even to me) is Child, Animal or violent porn. Normal porn may be a little on the digrading side occasionally, but remember there are just as many women in the industry as there are men.

With regards to your boyfriend, he seems a little obsessive about his viewing habits, so on the face of it, it will indeed affect your relationship. I feel sorry for him, because he is obviously obsessed for a good reason, not because he wants to hurt you, but because hemay have been sexually repressed by his parents. I know what I am talking about as I was obsessed with porn until recent years, and I am now 34 yrs old.

He needs understanding and compassion, not lectures, being told that he is a naughty boy etc. I suggest that you openly discuss your relationship, without accusations flying around. Ask him why he needs it, and if he could wean himself off it gradually. Try hugging him, showing him that you understand his obsession, but love him, and want him to get his sexual thrills with you.

Finally, men like porn because it is a visual thing, which is why men like cars etc. Men can easily separate Sex (e.g. Porn) from Love Making, with their woman. DO NOT under any circumstances think for a minute that he does not love you, because he probably loves you more than you realise. He is probably feeling guilty about it, which is why he denied it in the first place. Final thought, he is very unlikely to be seing someone else.

Good Luck

It's nice to have a man's point of view. I've been suffering from this same exact thing. My boyfriend looks at porn, from what I can tell almost daily before I come home from work. I'm not concerned about him sleeping with some other girl- and we've used porn in our sex life before, but it's not constant. I certainly feel as though he has a problem. But I also feel like I may be over-reacting.

In an ideal world, my boyfriend would wait for me to come home from work to have sex rather than log on quickly before I get home. That really hurts. And as much as I don't understand why he continues to look at porn, he doesn't understand how hurtful this is.

He tells me that it's normal- which it is...and that it has nothing to do with me, which I'm sure it doesn't....and that any guy who says they don't do the same thing to any sort of frequency is lying, well, I don't know about that but I'm sure he believes it.

I've shed so many tears over this that I have nothing less to cry. The point all of us women need to remember is- Does it effect our current sex life with our boyfriend? Maybe it makes or will make it better. The more we complain about it, the more frustrated our relationships become. If you embrass the fantasy, we may experience something totally different- and who knows, maybe it will excite us (as women) more. And, if the experience is a bad one, well that will have to be dealt with at that point.

The other thing to remember is that porn is a fantasy. The one thing that's missing from porn is COMMUNICATION. Believe it or not, that's a big thing. There's no for-play. It's instant gratification. That is the MAIN reason why men look at porn. At least in my opinion. If women could get off as easily as men could, what are the odds that we would masterbate more? Of course we can't answer that question, but it's worth the thought.
Good luck to all relationships!

You know, the same thing happened to me. I went on google and began typing in a query, and up popped "spandex ass" "spandex sl*ts," etc. this is not the first time i have seen evidence of porn on the computer. i talked about it with my bf once; apparently he used to have a subscription to a site but he cancelled it, presumably because he wanted to save money. most of the time i'm able to brush it off. but it is hurtful in the sense that i wish he'd channel some of that sexual energy toward me. but perhaps because we are always both so busy and tired, it is simply easier for him to get his rocks off on the computer, than putting in all that effort that we seem to require (we've been together 9 years). at any rate, i am very irritated by all the posts on here that are like, women are wimps they should suck it up and understand that guys are the way they are and and women are prissy and that's the way it is. there is a history of violence toward women here, and of sexual inequality, and women have to deal with this everyday. sex is a minefield for women. all of this is to say - perhaps life would be better without men; perhaps women should have female lovers instead. are there any bi's or lesbians out there - is a monogomous female relationship better than a hetero one?

There are many issues involved in your story and it has been worth a lot of thought to try to come up with advice for your situation. Some of the issues are clearly with your boyfriend, some of them are your own and while your reactions are very much to be expected given your experience they are not necessarily the same reactions that I would expect most other young women to have in a similar situation.
While I think your description was very good I have to remind myself to be careful and not assume that what we think we know is going on here really is. Specifically, I do not yet see how it is completely outside the range of possibilities that a roommate, or visiting friend may have done some of the searches you found traces of and that your boyfriend may be more innocent than you are giving him credit for. I know that college kids are always over at other people's rooms visiting and looking at dating websites.
Your reaction to seeing a search for college s*ts in Minnesota is completely understandable. And if your boyfriend was the one performing those searches it seems appropriate for you to feel betrayed. If he is looking for someone else for any purpose then he may not be as committed to you as you thought. This is probably the most serisous and straightforward issue you bring up in your story.
If we could take the habits of looking at porn as a seperate issue I think there are many ways of looking at that as well. Given your experiences your revulsion to things like bukkake and cumsluts is completely natural. Though if you can I would like for you to try and think about it objectively. Your hind-brain interperates it as degradation because of your traumatic experience, and that interpretation of it may never leave you, but if you could look at it intellectually you may be prepared to entertain the idea that it can have very different symbolic meanings for others who have had different experiences. Cum is not filth, it is not a kind of excrament, its baby-making stuff. And there is no one to one relationship between contact with it on any particular part of the body and degradation. Its just one thing people do, some like it some despise it.
With that in mind maybe you can understand that if a boyfriend enjoys looking at this kind of porn so long as he does not force you to look at it or try to enact those scenarios with you then you really have no right to dictate to him what he may look at or fantasize about. What you don't know isn't doing you any harm.
I even consider the possibility that if your boyfriend knows about your bad experience and is keeping this from you that it may be out of consideration for your feelings.
In regards to his porn viewing habits my perspective is closest to CitizenPremiere than to anyone else here. Remember that porn is a fantasy, and that while thinking about doing things can be exciting there aren't as many people who are cut out to have porn style sex as there are who like to look at and imagine it. I also agree that if being online is a new experience this could explain the sense of obsession. I know when I was 20, and I got online and found cumshot sites for the first time it shocked me and sent chills and thrills through me like nothing else before. I sampled from genres devoted to every fetish and in time found that I didn't like some of them as much as I did at first when they were novel.

So, he may not be lying, but if he's looking at dating sites or searching for local girls online it could be a real sign that the relationship is at an end. Guys are curious about fetish sites from time to time but the interest in any one of them or in porn in general may fade some with time. Respect a lover's mental space and don't insist that they only have the kind of fantasies that you approve of. Don't ask, don't tell.

Well to be honest there's nothing wrong with most porn providing he's not staring in one without telling you! I mean come on every man and woman has disires and sometimes they are quite sordid. It's human nature to want to watch and explore the strange, weird or even disturbing image's we see on the internet and elsewhere! In fact i would go as far to say that your boyfriend would be strange if he didn't watch or view hard porn! As you have said yourself, you like a bit now and then, but how can porn have boundries its pretty sordid full stop really. I think many people would believe that you, yourself enjoying any kind of porn is wrong and shameful. So i don't see your point! People will always be fasinated with the weird, wonderful and damn right strange things in life! It's what make us human and what defines our nature! Surly to go aggainst that would be truly unatural! If you arn't comfortable then leave him, but i assure you all men are the same. They may not be silly enough to get caught but they all enjoy porn no matter how disturbing it may be! The plain truth of it is your bother'd he finds other woman a turn on! Something that is non-obtainable is often a more fasinating and disirable object. You always want something you can't have! That's just life babe, no ofence but get over it. It's 2006 and most things are now obtainable at the click of a button as you well know! I mean christ aleast he's not a fricking terrorist making a bomb or some sick Peedo looking up kids! What about their girlfriends? They are the ones who deserve an explaination! Wake up and smell the coffee!

Lets get one thing straight here woman arn't wimps there just bullshit artists! A Woman can be just as cold and disturbing as any man in this day and age! If a woman is willing to offer herself like meat as is so often the case! Then she must surly judge her own actions before placing the blame elsewhere! We all have choices! Woman have ranted on about equal rights for years then undermine it all by stripping off left right and centre. I don't just mean Porn stars either! Weather it's you tv presenter, Film actress or local barmaid. The truth is woman are exabitionists who love to show a bit of flesh! Yep that's most woman and your lying if you say otherwise. Woman strip and film Porn because they like it! It turns them on! It's good money! Not because some fat hairy bloke has told them to do it! Honestly your pathetic! I actually miss the power of thought! To wonder what a woman might look like underneath her clothes was once a fantasy, something to look forward to once you were in the bedroom! Now we don't need to imagine at all! Woman are responsible for their own humiliation! You want a reaction! You are the cause of your own exploitation! It's not 1906 we all have choices in today's world. Stop moaning about other womans choices! It's not you lying on your back getting paid for it, so what's the problem? I mean who really suffers the girl who is lusted after and lives a life of luxsary or is it you the humble nobody who works the rat race of life like everyone else! She may leave little to the imagination but shes the one in control and is respected. If any woman has the power and the will to make her own desions in life and love. It's a porn Star! I'm guessing you went for a audition and was turned down! Better look next time.

You sad arrogant dickhead! What are you a Preist? Your the minority mate! So if anyone is weird it's you! Have you even got a penis between your legs or did god miss you out? I'm sorry to be so offence but your a fucking windup! Don't give people Bullshit about never watching porn or not finding other people attractive! You sound like a fool! You would'nt be human if your eyes never strayed or your dick never wonder about another mate! You are an animal don't forget, Put on this planet for one sole purpose, to mate and expand! This makes all of us natural hunters not just for food but the opposite sex also! If your not wanting, your looking and if your not looking your having! That's natural selection you idiot! It's not being perverted! Get a life and a dick your missing out!

Wow! Spoken like a true serial rapist there Deltaray. Little angry with your mother maybe? Did she really make you eat all of your broccoli before letting you play with your He-Man dolls?

Back on topic... my boyfriend looks at porn all of the time - before work, during lunch breaks, after work before I get home, and whenever I run out on errands. We've been together for 6 years, and this has been a real concern for the 2 1/2 years we've lived together. I don't believe there's anything wrong with porn, but it bothers me nonetheless. He hides it and lies to me about it, and I honestly can't blame him for it - if the situation were reversed, I think I'd lie to him to avoid confrontation over something I believed to be a trivial matter. Yet, no matter what I think, no matter how normal I believe it is, no matter that I am quite certain that he is faithful and loves me dearly, I can't get myself to stop feeling axious over his obsession with porn. If any of the women here who have posted come up with some miracle cure for this, I'd really appreciate an update at some point. I'm at my wits end - I don't know what to do. I've talked to guy friends who assure me that his viewing porn is no reflection of me. I've talked to him, and he's assured me that his viewing porn does not indicate a loss of love or attraction to me. Scientifically, men are stimulated visually; whereas, women are stimulated intellectually (fantasies, foreplay, etc.). Even freaking science is assuring me that his attraction to porn is neither nefarious nor malicious. Yet, after 6 years with a man who is, aside from this issue, my idea of a perfect match, I've still asked him to move out! What the heck? Why is porn so threatening? What is it about porn that we can know it's a usual and acceptable thing but still hate it?

Wanna hear something funny, when I typed in disgusting porn in google I found this, ha. I was actually looking for disgusting porn, isn't that hilarious.

You are a cunt. you had no right to search his PC. He should get rid of you NOW

I think porn is very degrading, and for the lady above with the boyfriend-viewing-porn-issue, my answer to your question is that: what you are thinking is very contradicting. Or some of us, i should say. We think porn is okay but at the same time our instincts, real-life experience tells that its not right, and that it gets in the way of our relationship. That means our tolerance of porn isnt right. because what happens isnt normal, or what we thouhgt would be -- that everything would still be perfect, etc...

What really happens is that (studies shown) men's attitude toward women are worsened, and that they treat women as objects of pleasure, rather than respecting them. I am not saying that your boyfriend doenst love you, i am saying that porn is hurting your relationship -- lying, for example. Honesty is very important in any relationship. When your boyfriend lies, he realizes that you are not pleased w/ what he has done, he is scared that you are going to (fill in the blank) him. Again, we see that porn-viewing is not normal, his conscience tells him that this isnt right, its a good thing.

So i think you should confront him about this not aggressively, but tell him about the negative consequences, etc. By the way, porn viewing is really viewing hate-crime pictures/vids that is hatred towards women -- it is degrading. it degrades the meaning of sex, love.

Just talk to him about it, since he loves you, i am pretty sure he will give it up for you! :)

The whole point of dating is not to just have fun but to find someone who is compatible, who shares common interests and with whom to share your life with long term. Frankly, you sound like a nice person but also a very controlling person. If you find the porn so disgusting, so offensive, then simply find another guy who shares the same viewpoint. It is counterproductive to try to change someone and dictate what they can and cannot do on their own time. There are guys out there who dislike porn, I don't know where you will find them but search for them. Most guys do not find porn "disgusting" as you describe. Now, as to those who wish to surf the web in private, whether it is adult material or not, I suggest you invest in a "window washer" software to remove traces of sites you have visited. Deleting cookies and temporary internet files does not remove those search topics. Copy and paste the below link.

Good luck to you.



http://www.webroot.com/consumer/downloads/

its not all about you

You got fucking pwned.

So your BF watches porn.

Welcome to the real world. Men are sluts. Instead of bitching about it why don't you put the hard on he gets to good use?

As far as him looking at pornis that You find disgusting, well, sorry, but each of us has our own kinks, and his seems to be seeing women get cum on their faces.

Not my thing as a rule, but if I am with a guy I like...

Now, I will admit that if you were abused/raped and he KNOWS about it, if he cares for you, he will not ask you to preform a duty like that. Could it be that he likes this kind of thing but knows how you feel and so is looking at it and taking pleasure visually so as to not trouble you with the duty?

Grow up dear.

Tobra

eww i think you're disgusting as well. you said you look at porn too. you are both horrible disgustng people. ACCEPT JESUS AND LIVE PURE

ITS POSSIBLE TO STAY AWAY FROM PORN.PORN IS EVIL, SICK AND DISGUSTING...AND IM A GUY SAYING THIS...REALISE THE TRUTH YOU SICK PEOPLE.YOU ARE BLIND.Jesus said whoever looks on a woman with lust to her has commited adultery.You who look at porn have committed adultery and you will be judged by a holy god when you die!! repent now and wash yourselves, free yourselves from the sick perversion of what is considered normal these days. The bible says that it was not good for a man to have sex with a girl, but he has given marraige so that it would be righteous in his sight.Please please please..i cant beg you enough stop this insanity...look at where you are going in your pleasures...whoever seeks shall find...SEEK TRUTH AND YOU SHALL FIND IT...jesus christ loves you and wants to free you from the ways of this perverted world and have a clean, pure, guilt free relationship with you!!

do you think that looking at porn is good?

its only satisfying your own selfish desires. trust me...yuo dont have to...i used to be addicted since the age of 13-17.i am free now because of jesus' love...now I SAY TO YOU...i feel soooooo mcuh better and clean and free because of it.FREEDOM IS BEING ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART TO BE RIGHT.Jesus can offer you that freedome.You dont have to masturabate.Jesus freed me of that desire.And no, your balls arent going to explode, its perfectly fine and natural.Abstaining from masturbation is very good for you.It calms the mind, frees you of guilt and returns you to the innocent childlike mind we all had.You dont have to give in to the temptations,God can free us from them.He died on the cross so that we can flee these evil disgusting things.

Hey guy, overlooking the fact that you're talking to yourself in the posts...

Didn't Jesus also say something about Casting the first stone? I'm sure I read that someplace...

Yes, I like porni's, sometimes. I don't like a lot of them. Fact is, the stuff I get into IS really hard to find - I'm into golden showers and that kind of porni just isn't out there I don't think :(

But my bf likes it a lot and watching them with him is cool as we can get busy later on.

If you don't like it. Cool, don't watch. But if there is anything God has to say, it is between God and me. YOU are not required.

Good Catholic Girl

October

FUCK YOU GO DIE BITCH