It sounds like you may have Social Anxiety Disorder. You should get that checked out. It's normal, many people have these issues. Are you the only child? Are your friends close friends, or just passers by? Let me know :)

no im not the only child, i have one older brother, and two older sisters. i dont really have many close friends, just acquaintances, i dont think i have a social anxiety disorder, as i actually wasnt that bad last night, i was more confident than i thought i was going to be...only because i told myself i was not going to be nervous and shy, i guess its all in the mind!!

last night was the first time i went to a nightclub in my life, and i actually enjoyed it! looks like im fnally coming out my shell

See, wasn't that easy. You remind me of a very close friend of mine. She too thinks she doesnt have SAD. However, she get's mixed feeling about going out. I think you're just shy. How were your parents growing up? Were you sheltered?

my parents never got on, and were always argueing and fighting, hence my relationship with them was never particularly close, which meant that i often felt isolated and lonely most of the time, which could have lead to me feeling shy and anxious in social situations sometimes. when you say that your friend has mixed feelings about going out, what do you mean?

She isn't easy. Let's say we planned on going to the city tonight. She's 26 and has never been clubbing. I've been there done that starting at 19. I am pretty much done with the hard partying scene. So I figured I'd take her out to get the experience. Well, she's gungho about the whole date all week, and then Friday hits and she just wants to stay home and chill. It's been like this for 4 years. She's not a people person, she'd rather hang out at home on the comp, read (which is great), check out a few games on TV, and relax. She recently planned a birthday party for me, and boy was it difficult for her. The orginizing, contacting people, deciding what to purchase wasn't easy, however she did it and it was a success. She had superiorly major issues growing up. We are talking from Molesation, physical abuse, promiscuity, questioning her sexuality, and just all together introvertedness. While she's comfy in her skin now, there are still major feats she has to work on. One of them being amongst people. Last night she wanted to go to dinner. We went and sat in an open area. She's used to sitting in booths kinda sorta away from patrons viewing pleasure. She had a super fit. I didnt want to move, I wanted her to get over this "everyone is looking at me" issue. Boy was she uncomfy, but she too wanted to work on it. We stayed and ate for a while, but then left earlier than we normaly would. She's a great person, She got herself 2 degrees (in Psychology none the less oh and she didn't attend her grauation because of her issue.) She does have aquaintences, but not friends. She considers me to be her best friend, but we are together so I don't think that counts. The reason I asked you about family issues, and friends is because of her. I know her insecurity and shyness comes from her past. Just trying to figure out yours.

so are going out with her or are you just close friends. i have similiar problems to her, feeling inadequate and self conscious around people- worrying all the time that people are looking at me and judging me etc but i dont think my insecurities are as intense as hers. im able to attend social situations and remain reasonably calm and relaxed throughout them if i put my mind to it, like last night for example. because i dont go out or socialise much, yesterday was a tough day for me, as i had my graduation in the afternoon, then i had to go out in the evening to celebrate with 'acquaintances'. i can understand and relate to her not having many close friends because i dont either, im ok meeting people and chatting to them briefly, but i dont know how to get close to and open up to them, i would like to get intimate and close with people that i like, but for some strange reason i just shy away from it. i guess its all down to my low self esteem, self consciousness, and insecurities. so has she NEVER been to a bar, pub or nightclub then? and has she ever had any proper girlfriends. surely her 'social anxiety' cant be that bad if you and her are close. if she can get close to you, then surely she cab with other people?

Just want to let you know, I will write to you later on tonight. Ok? :) ok. hold tight.

ok, i take it your busy huh. where do you live by the way? sounds like your american, im in north west england (manchester) dont know if you know it or not

Beer. Use it well and it shall guide you, young Padowan.
Also, may I be the first to point out the irony in the acronym for the disorder being "SAD."
As far as the thing itself goes, don't sweat it at all. Not everything's bad about being in a shell; I'll bet if I can stand REAL close, I can hear the ocean. I liked the usage of the word "uni," it gave me a neat little FFX vibe.
As for wisdom that will blow you away with its articulation and elegance, I have only this to say:
Don't ever TRY to be confident, your brain creates a rather sneaky reversal effect. Don't be with people for the sake of being with them only do it if you WANT to and it makes YOU happy. Don't try to please other people do it because YOU want to.
Try inviting your friends to your house/treehouse/teepee sometime to watch a movie or something and chill. Only invite one to start, tap the keg and let the good times roll. After doing this several times invite 2 or 3, then 5. Then start going to small social events and work your way up to larger ones.
Or, if effort isn't exactly your "forte," simply go to your doctor and have him dope the crap outta you. You will love every man, woman, stop sign and oddly-proportioned street mime in the immediate vicinity.
;) Good luck

NEVER PEE ON AN ELECTRIC FENCE

Yeah, Leo's my taleneted dick head friend. I want to make him Uber rich one day. :) I am so sorry I didn't write back last night. I had to make a few batches of hash brownies and psychodelic(sp)Lasagna for a party. My friends think I'm the Marth Stewart of the mind bending world. Although I don't eat this stuff, it does look quite scrumptious. I don't have time to be high all day. So, yes I am am American, ( I wish I wasn't, I'm not feeling America right now.)Live in New Jersey. Have you ever been to America? Of course I've heard of Manchester. I'm actually on my way to England for a convention in December. I'm not looking forward to it. People think that traveling abroad all of the time for your job is "SO GREAT". It's not, I'm sick of flying, and sickened by jet lag. I think I will try to get out of it. I am deathly afraid of flying. Are you in a relationship? What do you ususlly do on the weekends? Do you enjoy movies, shopping, writing? Another question,Would you say you are an insecure person? If yes, what is it about yourself be it your mind or body do ou have an issue with?

hey no i havent been to america before, i would like too though, i wanna go to new york one day, i hear the shops there are wicked! no im not in a relationship at the moment, there is a guy who i am really into, but its complicated between us. yeah i like movies,but not as much as shopping, its an addiction!! shoes, jewellery, dresses, skirts, trousers etc the lot- i just LURVE to shop!! i used to write poems when i was younger but i lost interest and stopped a few years ago. and yes i am insecure person, but who isnt? everyone has bits about themselves that they dont like, anyway who says that they dont are lying! its only natural! i dont like my nose, my hands, and my torso...in fact im not too keen on my body, i think am too skinny! i have my own website, you can check out my pics if you want and let me know what you think - www.faceparty.com/brownskindbabe
I want your HONEST opinion please!!

by the way, excuse me for being ignorant, but what on earth is a convention??!!

I'm on my way to check out the site. A convention is a formal meeting, an assembly is you will. Any large group of people can come together and have 1 or more main speakers. I work in publishing, and my company is trying to gain partners abroad. We have to meet to see what course of action we are going to take.OK, I'll be back let me see the pic.

I'm back. So you are cute......you have nothing to worry about. I didn't know you were black as am I. Actually I am Bi-racial. My mother was black and my father is White and Dominican. I wish had pics. I really don't have time to lurk around and play on the comp. HAnging out on this site was going to be brief, but I found Leobutrkurnel and enjoyed his writing style. Check out his stuff and let me know what you think. You pretty much down yourself in your profile. people think these things of you? They think your shallow etc.? I think you should care more about what you think of youself than caring what other people think. Other people aren;t going to live your life for you. They aren't going to feed you, they don't get your cramps, and they don't wash your ass.Don't sweat them. You gain self respect and self assuredness when youfocus on yourself, and F everyone else. You seem like you take good care of yourself. You love to shop. You make sure the outside is taken care of,make sure the inside is well nourished too. Too skinny, yeah right! People would kill for your body. They love the tiny women especially here. I happen to be curvy. I like my shape, not loking to be tiny. I think people should be proud of what they have. Come to NY. I'm about 35 minutes away. Since I live here, it's not all that. They do have the best clubs. Right now I'm researching a swingers club or a voyeristic club. They are around, it's just you need a word of mouth pass. I'm sorry if I offended you about my drug exposes. I promise not to mention anything about it anymore. So it's Saturday and I'm off. Why don't you try going to Barnes and Nobles for starters. If you want, grab one of your friends and go to dinner. You are young, try taing baby steps to getting out on the town. Yu want to beat this. We also can't forget youmay just be a home body and don't want to go out. See ya later :)

ahh thanks for your nice comment, but it doesnt matter what compliments people give me about my looks, i still feel ugly most of the time. are you male or female? you never said...and do you have any pics you could email me? would be nice to put face to the writer!! lol

I don't have pic, I'm not really in to all of that, but I think I will scan one on tonight. You are cute, cut it out. I am a female, don't I talk like one :)?Did you end up going out last night? What does your day consist of?

*peeks in* hi people! *runs away* lol

Hi Skybird. :)

how am i supposed to tell if you are a female or not by the way you write? no i didnt go out last night, i dont think i will be going out for a long time now, im a real homebody,going out on thursday was enough! it will take me at least two/three months to recover from that, and prepare myself to go out again!

Wow, now that's serious Tell me, what does your day consist of? Do you work?

what do you mean thats serious, what is serious? i have just graduated from university, i got a 2:2 in social sciences combined with community studies. i am at quite a dead end at the moment, my days dont consist of much, apart from looking for work, ive been applying everywhere, sending off my CV and covering letters etc, but no joy yet...hopefully something will come up soon. ive got an interview tomrorow actually, so wish me luck. im really nervous, im not good at answering interrogative questions one on one in such a formal situation...not just because im not the most confident girl in the world, but also because i have a mild stammer, which tends to rear its ugly head and get even worse when im nervous and in stressful speaking situations! anyway enough about my problems, do you have any? doesnt sound like it! what does your day consist of?

Hey, so what was serious was the fact that you won't be going out for a while. I guess I need to accept the fact that you aren't and outdoorsie girl. GOOD GOOD GOOD luck tomorrow. Is it the kind of job that could have you being interviewed by 4 people at once? I hope you get it. Being away from home, will help release that shell you're trapped in at the moment. DO I have problems. Hell yeah! We all do. Mine are just more family oriented. The problem is I don't have any anymore. Everyone in my family is dead, from my mother to all of my grandparents, aunts and uncles ( I only had 2). My father is alive, but I never saw that dude. I have a plethara of family on his side ( minus my grandparents)I just don't know how to get in touch with them. I really don't want to. My thing is this, If you don't try to reach out for me, then why would I for you? My mother died when I was 22. She was my WHOLE Fing World. I died with her I swear. I am the only child, I was very very spoiled. I got whatever I wanted. To this day I'm still the same, I just have to provide for myself. Of course I have my adult responsibilities, I don't mind that. I have a cousin I started to care for once my mother died. She was to be adopted, but my mom left before she could. Now my cousin is 18 and pregnant with no one to care for her, or nowhere to go. I have her now. I wish I didn't because she treated me so bad.I can't let her baby suffer, so she's here. That's about it. I don't let too much get to me. I also can't tell too much on such a public chat area. Two questions. Whats is a CV is that a resume, and do you drive?