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Evidence of alien obduction
Hello, my name is Jason and I live in Hampshire, England with my wife, Ruth, and three children.Last week on my way home from work I saw a bright object in the sky which was moving in many directions.
As a photographer by profession I stopped the car and took various pictures of this unbelieveable flying saucer.
However after a few minutes I noticed its altitude was rapidly diminishing and before long was hovering above me.
I rushed back into the car to leave however the engined failed - It was however a three month old BMW.
The next thing I remember, I was on the operating table with three grey beings that seemed to have surgical tools.
Eight hours later I was back in my car. I was able to drive home as at the time I didn't remember much about it.
The next morning, after talking about the confusion of the situation to my family I noted something very strange.
The apprearance of my face and body looked considerably different than they were before the incident.
It was highly noticeable that I had an implant put into my chin and a significant reduction in my waistline.
I have always been very conscious of my jaw and the fact that I am slightly over weight for my height.
I visited the doctor that day and he told me that it would be in my best interest to see a phsyciatrist.
However he did agree that the projection of my chin was enhanced and I had lost over two and a half pounds.
I am now waiting to see various top cosmetic surgeons in London to identify how these changes happened to me.
Although I do not particularly like attention, I am seriously thinking of reporting this to several newspapers next week.
Please respond with your opinions - Is it possible that aliens attempted to carry out cosmetic surgery on me?
PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A REAL STORY
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I'll bet they made you sit forever in the waiting room. Good way to make them see you faster: just casually mention in conversation "don't leave me in there too long; I'm a klepto." Works every time.
As for the engine failure I suspect if you look closely enough at the logo you shall see "BWM," one of the inferior knockoff models made by the immense races of subterranean mole people who all bear a striking resemblance to Rush Limbaugh. The bastards.
Don't feel bad; I once shelled out $150 for a brand new, top-of-the-line gold "Rodex."
They didn't give you a "Kirk Douglas" chin, did they? I hope not. That guy should wear tiny underwear; it's friggin indecent. His chin is like a map of Yellowstone.
Aliens from Uranus do a tee-rific job on butt reductions, they are much better that the ones on Earth.
Polish surgeons simply breathe on it and rub a cloth back and forth; Finnish are great at getting the job done, Chinese just stand there in awe of how big it is already and Russians hurry too much.
Are You of prostperous nature? Can you travel? I am from New Orleans, I have spent alot of money on technical paraphernalia, and gadgets to seek and record digitally the future of alien species. I would be grateful if you would assist me on my journey to the alien world that is infact bona fide.
I will await your reply my dearest conrade.
Yours ever the optimist
Dr Malcolm Madrass
If you want to get your story out, I'd suggest sending your post to www.coasttocoastam.com along with a before and after photos of your chine and waistline.
I'm under the assumption I've had contact with some beings who have altered my physical appearance as well.
I believe it might have to do with genetic engineering/altering & gene therapy. Maybe a hybridization program as well or the reactivation of latent genes.