your mother.

how about a human being

i know this guy who fucks a bottle stuffed with a towel.. try it:
Get any plastic bottle of water(0.5L to 1.5L depending on the size of ur penis)
a sharp knife (to cut the top of the bottle)
a hand or face towel (depends on how big the bottle is and how tight u want it to be)
put the towel in the dryer or soak it in hot water (from the sink, or microwave..dont put it inside the microwave, just heat the water then soak it in for a couple of minutes)
becareful when u stuff it inside the bottle..make sure to make a lil space for ur thingy..
because towels can be rough i recommend applying some lotion for sensitive skin even better a lub.. if u cant get that.. or want to be all natural and stay in the kitchen zone, olive oil works as well..
moiste ur penis and start shoving it inside the bottle.
scream CRUNCHIELICE if u cum.

your uncle

Try your mom

Your penis will soon fall off.

HAHAHAHA try masturbation?

yeah..like "theoneandonly" said, Try to fuck a human being..how old are you anyways... and if you cant get somebody to fuck..try masturbation..it works for girls or boys..i dont know what you are..!