If your happy thats all that needs to be right.

I have no problems there with the sex change issue.

seems like evreything is peachy,you are being honest with yourself,and seem like a good parent nothing wrong with that...I think people are confused about gender alot. it's good you understand yourself,and are happy!

Thanks for the comments. It's surprising. I expected to have about 30% say normal, but it's actually above 50, and of course that doesn't say whether people think it's not "normal" but that it's "okay" nonetheless. I'm not so sure it's "normal" but I'm dealing with it the only way I could and things are going fine, normal or not. I've developed a great respect for single moms though!

Certainly normal, people do it everyday for millions of reasons. Some people just feel like the opposite sex and feel theywould be happier as a member of that sex. I'm glad you are being supported by your family and only ignorant people would find this not-normal; they are prejudice and insecure about themselves. Good for you!

I don't get it . Why do we support sex changes, but not gay and lesbians. I mean these people are actually okay with their gender! It doesn't make sense! I think same sex marriages shoule be legal!!!

I dont' get it either (I'm the original poster). There's no reason to support one and not the other, but honestly, I think it's the other way around. I've seen a lot more support for gays and lesbians since I transitioned than I ever have for transsexuals. I think it's because it's become the PC thing to do for homosexuals, but it's still "okay" to be prejudiced against transsexuals. Yes, same sex marriages should be legal... and will be eventually. It just takes a long time to get where we should be.

wats ur asl

To the original poster ( I'm the person who posted the gay/lesbian post) I forgot to tell you that I am truly happy for you. I am gay, I wanted to be a girl so I would be "normal" around y boyfriend, but decided against it because it was not what God wanted. Anyways good luck raising your kids, and good for you for you choices and achievements

Be happy, raise happy children, you'll be ok. Tricky thing will be explaining to them when they're older.

This pesky user has been removed for repeatedly abusing other users and being a pain in the butt. Behave or you will suffer the same fate. - The Management

Thank you Bag. A lot of people seem to have mellowed on it. Still about half and half though on the votes. It's funny, but I've noticed (in other forums, not this one) that the reactions of those who generally SHOULD be loving or supportive are usually the ones who are the most transphobic, and vice versa. The problem is that people are determined to make a moral issue of it, and most if not all of the time, those are the ones who have a problem with me, and are the most vocal about it (or worse). Then in the same breath they say they "love everyone". Uh huh...

You guys are all sick in the head I dont support any of this crap and its people like u that are bringing this society down now a days!

This pesky user has been removed for repeatedly abusing other users and being a pain in the butt. Behave or you will suffer the same fate. - The Management

Hi! I knew I'd get a response like this eventually. Thanks! Nobody said you had to support it, and whether or not I have your support certainly doesn't make or break me. Unless you're one of these people that gets violent about it? Everyone has the right to how they want to believe. I certainly support your right to believe that I'm sick, as long as you don't do anything to hurt my kids or I. BUT, tell me how I'm bringing society down? HOW am I hurting you or anyone else? I am physically and mentally a woman. If you met me on the street you wouldn't even know that I was transsexual, so in what way does it affect you or anyone else? If you can carry on a conversation without just name calling and such, please explain it to me because this is exactly what I don't get and what I want to understand, ok?

Um...just a thought, for the person who said "You guys are all sick in the head I dont support any of this crap and its people like u that are bringing this society down now a days! " well, i truly think it is people like you that are bringing the society down, because you make (or try to make) people feel bad for their opinions, or just for being themselves. If everyone just accepted our differences the society would be a lot better.

Nasty homos

Love you too sweetie! I guess they couldn't carry on a conversation without name calling... If anyone reads this, have a GREAT new year, whether you hate me or not!

I think you have more courage than a lot of people. If it works for you I say great. If it don't work for the other a--holes I say Tuff S--t. We live in a world where we are suppose to be free. I am so glad your family is supporting you in your new life. You have set an example for others to follow. The more people that do something the more it get to be accepted by others. Won't that be a great place to live? where everybody just accept people for who they are. Power to the People.

From the original poster: Hmmm, guess that's about all the comments there will be. Didn't really learn anything I guess. Just under 50% acceptance, even after several months. Kinda disappointing in a way. I was really hoping someone who didn't approve would be willing to say why, but no, nothing except name calling. I appreciate all the kind words though. I'm really too busy to check up on this much anymore, but maybe I'll look back in a few more months and see what has become of my story. Yes, it's true, and yes, I'm still happy with my decision. Maybe I'll start a blog on this subject. Bye!!!

well i dont approve. and since you asked i'll tell you why.
1) god made you a guy. god intended to keep you a guy. yet you are now a girl.
2)you had to wait until your partner died to make this change so obviously she either didnt think you should have had the operation or you dont think she would approve. either way, if you had to wait for her to die, you shouldnt have done it.
3) i'll bet you spent a fortune on this screwed up dream of yours. so while children are starving and cancer is killing millions without a cure, you are getting a sex change! am i the ONLY one who sees the problem?
4) so now changing yourself in a huge way is being true to yourself?!?! yourself is not supposed to be a girl! yourself is supposed to be a guy! your just LYING to yourself!!! you wanna be true to yourself? get therapy and stay the way you ARE!!
5) yeah, sure your happy. and of course your kids are happy. let me tell you something. kids are great liars. including me. if my mom died and then my dad turned into my mom i would not be happy, but i would pretend to be. they are going to be pretty screwed up as adults. your putting the message in their heads that changing sexes is an okay thing to do. and they might think that gender confusion runs in their family and then they will want to get a sex change. thats what happened to my uncle. my great uncle got a sex change so then my uncle did too. he thought that thats why he was depressed all the time. that if it 'cured' his dad, it will cure him. well it didnt. he commited suicide a year after his operation.

maybe its because im only thirteen, and in my young age im less understanding of others. maybe its because my family's negative experience with this supposedly taboo issue. but for whatever reason, i am utterly against this decision. live a nice life in your lie.

XOX you have some very strong points and i totally agree with every one of them. Eventhough you are only 13 you sound like a smart person.

aww, shucks.

Hi XOX,
I'm glad i came back by here. I didn't expect to for quite a while, but my overtime has slowed down, so I had an opportunity. Thank you for your candid reply. I'm going to reply candidly to you as well. I don't expect you to believe me, or to accept what I say, but at least read it okay?
1) God, if he exists, did NOT make me a guy. I was physically born a guy, but mentally I've always been female, so I simply changed my physical body to match what else was already there. Note that I say I was born mentally female. That was never changed. Unfortunately, you can't change the mental to match the physical. I might have entertained that option if it could have been done. Why is it that people always throw "God" at me? Isn't God supposed to love people? Then why would God have created someone who was going to be mismatched like this... and he knew it since he knows everything, but then said "but you can't be what you are mentally, only what you are physically". That's preposterous. The physical body has very little bearing on what you know yourself to be on the inside, and I KNOW I've always been female mentally. Believe me, XOX, you would NOT have wanted to grow up in the 70s and 80s as a transsexual. It was miserable. I was called a fag constantly. People would beat me up for no reason whatsoever. People always treated me as less than human, because I could NOT project the mental image I was supposed to as a "guy". I was only male, because that's the genitals I was born with, and I was one of the luckier ones. What do you do then with the people who are born with BOTH sets of genitals? It happens quite often. I guess they can't be either? Usually the doctor makes an arbitrary decision, but what happens when they choose wrong? They end up doing exactly what I did. I guess they'll be consigned to the third ring of hell with me. We'll have plenty of company though with those who used our situation as an excuse for prejudice.
2) My partner and I were very happy together, and she knew about my situation. We had a unique relationship. Since she knew my situation, we had a relationship that was more best friends, than anything else. I really wouldn't have been interested in any other female, but my spouse treated me as an equal instead of as a "male". We went out as girls together as often as we could, though not as often as I and she would have liked. Work has this way of getting in the way sometimes. I put it off for so long for one reason. It was impractical to uproot the family at the time. I said I put it off until she died, but she was not the reason. My reason was that I was not going to transition in an area that was very prejudiced to anything that they didn't understand. I knew that the children and my spouse would have been the target of prejudice just as much as I would have, and I didn't want to put them through that. When my spouse died, it left a different option open. I picked up the family and moved to a new area where people would not know that I used to be male. That way, there is no reason for anyone to be prejudiced against us, neither because of any perceived problems due to my transsexuality, nor because of any perceived homosexuality. That's what I and my spouse would have appeared if I had done it before, and that's the ONLY reason I waited for so long. In fact, my spouse would be extremely happy for me at this point.
3) You need to check before you make accusations. I spent less for my transition than I spent for my last car, and I don't drive anything fancy believe me. I saved the money up little by little, and did it when I would not have to go in debt for it. Don't believe me? Look it up. It's not very expensive nowadays, especially if you look fairly feminine anyway. BUT, let's say you were right in your statement and I HAD spent a fortune. I earned the money myself, did not in any way make my family do without, and spent the money as I saw fit. What's wrong with that? Do you think the government should have stepped in and took my money since I was going to spend it on myself?
4) I GOT therapy; many years of it in fact. I was seeing therapists before you were born. I was also required to satisfy certain criteria before I was allowed to transition according to the Benjamin Standards of Care. Look them up if you like. I was required to prove that I actually was mentally feminine, and was then required to live as a woman for at least a year before I could have surgery. And as I said before, I didn't change myself in a huge way. I was already female inside anyway.
5) This one actually gave me pause for a moment, but you know, you're wrong. My kids aren't lying. They're actually quite a lot happier than they were. Before I transitioned, I could sometimes be a little difficult to deal with, because I was quite depressed. Now that's not an issue anymore. All three of them agree that I'm a much easier person to live with, that I'm definitely happier, and as a result they are happier. They all call me Mom, and are quite happy to do so. If they're lying they're doing a really good job of it. They all three get straight A's, and in fact that's an improvement over the B's they used to get.

I'm sorry about your uncle. That must have been a rough time for you and your family. He definitely made the wrong choice didn't he? But you know, just because it was wrong for him, doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong for everyone. Some people don't take the time to really examine their motives. There are those who are crossdressers and their motivation is actually sexual in nature. If they transition, then they are certainly going to have problems. After all, their motivation comes from hormones that they're not going to have once they are a woman. My situation was exactly the opposite, and was verified with hormones before I ever decided to have the surgery.

Thanks again for your points. I WILL have a nice life now that I no longer have to lie.

Are you hideous as a woman? Most male to female trannies remain masculine in the face and body, and having to look at hideous people is no fun. I know that is a horribly immature and insensitive thing to say, but you all probably think it, but are too hung up on being PC to say it. When you say that hardly anyone knows you used to be a guy, I'd be willing to bet that it is obvious, and no one has the heart to tell you. Sorry if this is harsh, but you asked for opinions.

okay, alright, i saw and read your response but didnt really have the time to respond in a while. you may or may not see this, but oh well, i dont care.
1) physically, you were a guy. that is how god made you. however you were mentally is the other way god made you. perhaps as an obstacle in your life, perhaps as a blessing, although it is definitely an obstacle in yours and most other's cases. and with the people that are supposedly vorn with both sets of genitals, that is at best an urban legend. show me absolute proof that this has happened, and i still wont believe you, its too farfetched. and with the whole 'WHAT HAPPENS IF THE DOCTORS CHOOSE THE WRONG SET' problem, i doubt even if this was a real situation, that the doctors would randomly select a set of genitals to remove. thats insane. growing up in any age is hard as a transexual, a homosexual, but also for people of certain religions (wiccans for example), fat people, ugly people, people with speech impediments, generally anyhthing different. and even if you are the most normal, perfect person ever, growing up is not easy. and btw, i was not prejudging you, i just dont agree with your decision. i'm sure you are a great person, and i would get along with you just fine if we werent in this whole argument.
QUESTION: How exactly are males and females different mentally? How do you know that you are mentally a female as opposed to a male?

2)i'm glad she would have been happy for you, but why, exactly, did you care that much about the opinions of others when the decision you made was to improve your life? i mean first of all, you didnt make this decision, a decision that would make you happier because, as a girl, you would look suspicious to others? i mean where is the logic in this? did you live a year as a female before the operation where you are now or where you were with your wife? wouldnt that arouse suspicion in the same people who's opinions you were and are so afraid of? and, if, as you said, you are really a woman mentally, arent you technically a homosexual because you were with your wife? why do you care about what others think of the truth?
3) okay, alright, so your operation was inexpensive. no, i dont think that this money should be taken by the government, especially if you live in canada or america. but, i do think that that money could have been used for worthier causes. such as animal creulty, AIDS or cancer research. but, yes, i agree that this is a better use of money than, say, drugs or a gun.. etc. and yes, it is your money. i dont really have a say on this one because i havent been there, i dont know all the details.
4)okay, great, use my youth to smite me. i know i'm young, but i dont use your age to make my points stronger. obviously the therapy you got didnt help. an hour of good therapy, the right therapy can do much more help than 13+ years of it.
5)There's a reason that i said lying, they dont want you to know that they have a problem with it. grades are not an accurate representation of how one feels. i usually have a C average, but this term, since i got a little bit depressed, i concentrated more on my schoolwork and raised my average to a B. meanwhile, i was feeling like shit. and, i'm glad you're feeling better but i dont see the point in this surgery. i find it extremely superficial and, frankly, pointless. im sorry for using such strong words for your decision , but i have a strong opinion on this situation. i dont think you or anyone else that has had this operation in any way is an 'unworthy' or a 'terrible' person. i just think that they have made the wrong decision. could you maybe fill me in on some points so i can better understand this situation?
are hormones considered physical or mental? i mean if you say that you are mentally a woman but were once physically a male, if hormones are physical, but affect and in many control you mentally, how were you mentally a woman?
how are women considered different mentally from males? i mean me and me and my boyfriend have quite a lot in common mentally.
where does your situation come from if crossdressing comes from hormones they wont have as a female.
why is it that you feel so much better because you have breasts and a vagina than you did when you didnt have them? isnt that considered, like... material values. they dont make you any less or any more of a person, just another kind of person. And you will never really be a true woman. you cant have your own children as a woman, you will never menstruate, you just look like one, and, no offence, but most people could probably tell that you were once a man, at the least as a suspicion.

well if you actually read this, i thank you once again for your time. im sorry if i insulted you in any way, but you asked what i thought, and i told you. im glad that this has made you happier, although i dont see why, and since i will probably never meet you (and if i do, i wont recognize you) i dont really care what you think of me or my opinion, although i dont want to make any enemies or make anyone sad.

XOX yet again i cant believe u are 13 I wish all young teenagers thought the way u do. then this world would probably be a better place!

aww, thanks anonymous!
i dont usually get compliments about my mind, most people think im an idiot and i usually agree with them.
.xox.mle

XOXO, that is because they are idiots not u lol.

You're still wrong about people being born 'intersex'. I'm tempted not to bother mentioning it, because I'm certainly not patient enough to look up the cases, but I know they are there, and depending on your opinion of evolution and fakery in the media, xox.mle, maybe you'll never believe them anyways. Still, this will have to do until the original poster comes back and backs up my statement. Meanwhile, if you believe when people think you're an idiot, then why do you step up so soundly with your beliefs? If I thought my ideas were stupid, I certainly wouldn't bother to make such a post about them.

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okay, okay so intersex people might be out there, but why isnt it a bigger issue?

and i said i USUALLY believed the comments on my intelligence. i mean, im recovering from mild depression and a couple of eating disorders, i am not at all excelling in school, i dont know WHAT im going to do with my life, so sometimes i feel stupid.

also, this is a sensitive issue for me and i have thought about it, alot. so i have some 'ideas' (i dont really care what you think of them,) on the subject.
thank you for your comment, i hope i answered some of your questions.

To the original poster. Rent the movie "Southern Comfort". It's a documentary on the life of a female to male transexual who's dying of cancer, in the midst of gender reassignment. My perceptions of gender reassignment where changed due to this compelling and very eye opening film.

Whoa my computer lagging made me spam, im sorry, im a bad kitchen appliance!

Toaster

Hey,your lucking you dont get your period!!