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Is It Normal?
What do you think?
Am i Sane?
I keep asking my self that. I keep thinking I have it so bad. I keep feeling sorry for myself and cry all the time. I can't go to the doctor for work related reasons to get on some magic bunny pill. I know they say that when you take your life everyone will be sad and its the ones that you leave behind that are really left to deal with the pieces, but What if they didn't know that you took your own life, what if they just thought it was a horrible accident. would it make a diffrence, to know that there was nothing they could do about it? Now that I finally write all this down I finally see how crazy I really am.

I haven't always been this way, I was happy for a while. The day I met B I thought my world was complete and that nothing would ever come between us and that we would be in an eternal state of "in love" But then I screwed that one up, and he still stuck by me even after I came back from my trip with an STD. I don't deserve him and we both know it. Ever since we've been married I have gained 65lbs...my god how does my body function, I am considered Obese now, and there is only one way out of that hell. Did I mention how I managed to blow 25K on misc gambling adventures, I got us so far into debt I don't think there is a way out.

I just don't know how to live with myself, every morning whiiel diving to work i wonder if it hurts to just swerve and miss a squirrel and accidentally roll down the moutain. I wouldn't mind the pain as long as it ended it and B could collect the insurance. I am embarassed and ashamed of myself. Am I the only one that feels that there are no real answers out there?
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Comments (4)
slackjawedyokel (6678)
2007-09-10 06:58:33
you need to stop thinking there is no way out.stop spending and start paying off your debts while accumulating NO MORE.it will be slow but it can be done.


as to the weight get out and walk a few miles every day....youll lose weight and the exercise will release endorphins that will make you feel mentally better also.walk EVERYDAY and cut out the junk and youll slim down..again the results wont be instant but they will come.

death is rarely the answer for anything other than an incurable terminal disease.death is final and in a practical note suicide is a condition under which life insurance DOES NOT pay off.


if youve got a guy that stood by you after you cheated and got an std you owe it to him to straighten yourself up.you owe it to him not to continue to sit around and mope all the time.in 6 months you can be a new person.give it a try OK?
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spam_javelin (8680)
2007-09-10 08:46:19
just throw yourself in the sea.
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dogman (10378)
2007-09-10 13:37:55
go fuck a dog and die and of aids
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esreverlogic (9945)
2007-12-08 00:48:33
if you have to ask, you are not, if you ask if you are something bad, you are, if good, you are not.

knowing and thinking are two different things, and thinking that you are what you are not makes you whatever the opposite of that you think you are

knowing that you are, means you dont ask, dont ask, never confirmed, never confirmed- but still content with your view; is ok.
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