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October,

I am here to ask you to PLEASE stop the fighting you are doing with my boyfriend Ian, known to you as Spam_Javelin! The two of you, you have each said some horrible things to each other, but it should stop.

I know that Ian can be a smart ass and talk the piss sometimes, but you don’t know him the way I do and you need to understand that he is really an okay guy. It’s just that, right now, for the last few years and for the foreseeable future, Ian and I have lived apart by necessity. It has been hard on him; though, as he has the right opening, he is making lots of new friends where he is living now. Still, being away from me has taken it’s toile on him.

Spam_Javelin, my man, Ian, is really a nice guy. We’d been together for a couple of years and were engaged to be married; we were also planning on adopting a couple of wonderful little girls, Holly and Jessica. Spam had just gotten a promotion at work, becoming chief assistant janitor, I was so proud of him that after five years he could make so much of himself!

Then things went wrong between us. He has sort of an impulse control problem sometimes and can be anti-social. He made a few mistakes and we not only didn’t get to marry or adopt the girls, but we broke up entirely. I still care for him though and it hurts me when he rings me, in tears, from the way you treat him.

Is It Normal is Ian’s only real source of pleasure nowadays, and though he threw down the gauntlet, after making cheeky comments and insulting you, you picked it up and beat him with it thoroughly. Nonetheless, you’ve both had your fun, now it is time to end it.

Please October, find it in your heart to forgive my Spam, to accept his faults the way I did and to leave him be.

Sincerely

Maxine Carr