My Rectum

So there i was. It was my girlfriend's birthday and i was at her house to celebrate with her. It was me, my girlfriend, and two of her best friends. Her friends, being kind people, decided to leave the room so me and my girlfriend could be alone. My hornage level was off the charts so i decided i'd give her a "little something" as a gift. So we start making out, and one thing led to another. We were having sex and it was really nice. We wanted to experiment a little so we went downstairs and shot up some heroin. Well, from the very little i remember, it was amazing....until i accidentally OD'd. When i came to, my girlfriend was being carried away by the police with blood and sh*t all over her face and hands, and i was face down in a pack of lillies with my ass out in the air. And out of my ass stuck a 40 oz bottle of King Cobra. So, nakedly, i ran to the hospital and called, "DOCTOR, DOCTOR! MY ASS!" and jump on the receptionist's desk and show her my bloody, stretched out anus. She then ran to the head surgeon and they got me into surgery. THey were able to get the bottle out, but they forgot one HUGE process.....................



THEY FORGOT TO SEW MY ANUS BACK TO ITS NORMAL SIZE!!!!!!

So now, sh*tting is like a walk in the park for me. To be completely honest, i can't even feel it coming on. I have to wear adult diapers so that i dont ruin my clothes. And when i fart, it sounds like somebody blowing over the opening of a jug. You know, that "hooo!" sound. So yeah. My anus is actually the diameter of your average dinner plate. It sucks. The End.

Do you think it's normal?

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