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Is It Normal?
What do you think?
stuck inside my head
im literally stuck inside my head
you dont understand
most of the time im not aware of my physical body
only my mental self
i just feel like im trapped inside my brain and the world isnt real
but of course by saying that
why am i typing this on a website?
for the slight chance that i have some sort of medical disability probably.
ive tried to let go of myself ( like 24/7 its as if i have to constantly clutch at what brain matter i have) when i let go i get a HUGE falling sensation and i tense back up.
one time at school i got up and left
the teacher followed me and i ignored her
and the cops came
i told them theyre not real and they sent me to a psychiatrist
now the shrink is telling me i need attention or some bull
MAKE IT STOP
it hurts please
someone share with me tell me its all fake im not in here im not here im not here im deffinately not here
ok now heres an example i think about regularly
its rather generic and corny but the matrix ( ive deffinately had these feelings long before the premier of the movies) where they plug their brains in and theyre bodies are somewhere else and everything is fake
its something like that feeling to me except i picture myself an old homeless man talking to walls in a huge dirt abandoned mansion with just dirt and broken furniture all over the place i dont know
someone relate
someone relate
someone relate
please tell me i have a condition
or else ill keep trying to "disconnect"
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Comments (3)
JanIAm (10668)
2007-09-27 01:17:23
You sound like a bright, creative person who may be experiencing anxiety as the result of hyper-sensitivity.

Do you want to have a "condition"? Do you feel like giving your mental state a name will help you to feel more connected to reality, or even more disconnected? If you do make that connection, do you think that this would make you lose your sense of uniqueness?

I ask these questions because your writing seems to suggest that you are conflicted as to whether you want to "remain in the plane" with the rest of us, or if you want to disconnect and leave it all behind. You might want to consider that although there is no one who feels exactly like you, there are a lot of people who feel much like you do. Life can be incredibly disillusioning and stagnant at times -- sometimes, insanity seems like a welcome release from the requirements of sane life.

I will look forward to seeing you write here more often. I haven't been here for long but I would hopefully recognize your style in the future. Writing may be very therapeutic to you in sounding out your frustrations. I recommend it as it may help to clarify how you want to be perceived and what you are willing to do to seek the relief you seem to yearn for.
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milky1 (10712)
2007-09-27 13:43:30
i get those feelings less and less now that im older. i had them allot when i was younger, questioning periods of is this real, am i real, what is reality, ect. it's called mental dissasociation, your detatched from yourself you probably suffer from anxiety you should see a psychiatrist or a therapist.
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Killington (1913)
2007-09-27 14:42:59
yeah i was looking that up and the symptoms of derealization and depersonalization disorders match perfectly to what i feel
still it doesnt put me to rest one bit
because even if its disorders
its still not "real"
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