I think you answered you own question anti-social and avoidant personality disorder. I am guessing he has major depression as well.

one fucked up kid.
would like to know if cases like this are becoming more or less common.

columbine

I just wish the poster wouldn't talk about me. Doesn't he/she know that doing to others as he/she has had done to them does NOT make it better!
I would say, been there, done that and if you need some one to talk to, gimme a shout.

Wow your smart. "millions of kids worldwide who go through just as much (or more) torture and teasing as this "subject" who have not hurt anyone else in retaliation and who never threw anyone through a plate glass window." What the HELL are you talking about. What do you know about suffering? Kids around the would don't have the luxury of first world care and end up mentally disfigured. Have you personally met any of those kids or are you just pulling things out of your ass? Have you even been outside the country? Your so arrogant and ignorant its disgusting.

I disagree with the simplicity of your answer. You are totally invalidating the kid who snapped in the post. Hell, there are people who have snapped over so much less. Theoretically, you are placing the blame of any bad behavior soley on the victim themselves, which I think is wrong, naive, and if everyone had that outlook the world would be a horrible horrible place.

To me, the reactions of the kid seem to follow logic. The kid should not feel shame for ending up the way they are. Instead, they should focus not on placing blame or retaliation (even though it will be hard, I know) but on recovery. It is ok to be self-cenetered. Take care of yourself. At that age, it is possible (or will be soon) to "run away" from the environment and community you have been raised cruelly in. People make it sound like you have to stay and "overcome" these feelings and resentments, but I believe people should instead accept the past and current feelings, and actively seek out a better life.

POster, is this you? tell me more about your situation, because I had a rough childhood (everyone's is different but I hope we can relate) and if you want to talk in chat or in posts just say the word :)

Being the subject of endless torment (from Every other child the subject encounters) backed up with near complete isolation can destroy a person mentally.

The worst thing in the world is to be alone. You may not believe that, but it is true. Physical pain, even agony, a human can - get used to - if never enjoy. Being completely apart from humans, even if one finds themsevles hating them, can do things to the mind and spirit that are far far worse.

It is funny how the subject can hate humans as they do but at the same time be jealous over their interactions with each other.

Subject doesn't care for humans much, likes animals better but at the same time has this way of being slavishly subserviant to any human that shows them kindness. At the same time though subject frequently dreams about humans killing each other en mass.

Subject does not really empathize with humans but is able to "fake it" remarkably well. Subject is short tempered and irritable, mostly having "feelings" of hate.

There is teasing and then there is constant unending torment followed by extreme isolation.

A big difference.

"We are all products of our environment, but we can also break out of that environment and turn ourselves into something better or worse depending on our decisions and actions."

And that, I believe, is not always true.

Rather than answer that question let me a make a stupid analogy.

Say a kid is bed-bound for 5 years. he has never been given the oportunity to have an active and healthy life. Then, one day he tries to walk. He falls, flailing, and breaks his nurses nose with his fist. Due to circumstances beyond his control, he has failed at walking, and has hurt someone else. If he had been given a normal childhood, he probably would not have fallen. Also, if he was to recieve help, he could walk again on his own.
You wouldn't treat him with a superior attitude and tell him he could have just gotten over five years without walking.

You are forgetting that children are not adults. For an adult your attitude might make sense. but children learn very quickly and are really impressionable, and they have little, yes little, control over their lives. They don't have coping skills like adults do. They have no foundation. THIS was this kid's foundation. The story described in the OP was not that one one isolated incident. A long period of social misery and isolation when you are so young is just as earth-shaking as a very traumatic incident, and sometimes more.
People have limits, and when you grow up with a bleak view of the world painted for you *by others* it is incredibly hard to overcome them.

Its good that *you* were able to overcome some bullying, but people vary by nature as you know, leaving some people more naturally vulnerable or impressionable than others. I don't really believe in broadly applying how one person deals with a situation and using it as a basis to make assumptions about the state of mind of someone else, especially children, like you seem to.
Yes, the person in question may not have been bullied and "hated" to the extent that his child's mind percieves, but their mind was in agony either way. So either the kid was indeed treated badly or indifferently to the point where they were unable to develop normally, or the person was already inclined to depression genetically. Neither can be helped much. Its easy to sit there and say they should have overcome it, but where would the skills have come from if there was no fostering to begin with? In a kid prone to depression, as I suspect this one was, you would not get a fair shot at understanding the people around you and gaining the ability to gain perspective.

One thing I find particularly naive that you said was
"But I also understand that even as kids we still have a choice as to whether or not we allow someone else's opinion to affect our lives negatively."
This is not so. We are not born with that kind of insight.

25 years is not that long ago.
And this kid most likely has inherant tendancies towards anger and depression. I think its disturbing that you think that kids should have the insight you have at 25, and that you assume that because your life was not perfect and you dealt with it that it is the universal responsibility of children with emotional problems to reach out for help themselves. Children, especially young boys, often do not seek out help easily. And if this kid was shot down so many times before, the trust in other people (yes, which must be *developed*) would have been lacking.

Either way, a child this disturbed should have been kept in an institution for longer. The people in charge of him clearly realised something wasn't right, and they allowed him to put others at risk.

Potato your on target in all of your comments.

Most of your Your statements are extremely naive and ignorant. How can you say he doesn't want help. I am sure he loves his state of misery and depression. The point is if you don't know how to help yourself you can't be expected to get better all of a sudden. You don't know this individuals story or how he was abused and mistreated. What do you think everything comers prepackaged and predefined? Every situation is unique you cannot compare yourself in any logical way to the individual, that argument is invalid of the bat.

You are twisting what I am saying to try to make a point. I am saying that you it is simply not fair to -expect- a *child* to put his entire childhood in perspective, as an adult can. Children are different than adults cognitively and internally, as you should know. Its not fair to expect someone who is clearly suffering to simply overcome it. I wish it were that simple, but its not, nor will it ever be.
If we were talking about an adult who had a bad year romantically or financially I would probably agree with you. But what you are saying is very off.

Can you imagine an 7 year old going "mommy, I am having problems with friends in school. I feel very sad. I think I need help."
and the mother (or grandmother, in this case) saying
"Its ok honey, your life aint so bad. Other people have rough childhoods and they are fine."
and the child suddenly stops being miserable. Its not realistic to expect this in so many ways. The child may be too young to express his feelings, the guardian may be too callous, the advice may have the opposite effect on the child, because they might think "people have it so much worse than me, and I am still miserable.... whats wrong with me?" and become emotionally worse off.

At adolescence, where a healthy child may begin to gain perspective and security, the child has no foundation to grow.

This is not to say we should let all adolescents who act out have free reign, but it is not fair to assume for them to take the punishment and get anything out of it. They did the right thing by putting this kid in a facility, and it seems to have been helping. Perhaps the child should have been put in a school for children with emotional problems long term. This conflict we are talking about right now is one of the main arguments for kids being charged with crimes differently than adults.

I don't have to know his story to be objective, you miss the point when you think you think all he has to do is ask for help. What if they reach out for help and they get none, or get wrong kind of help, or have negative consequences when they do. So they associate asking for help with negativity etc.

like cruel said, its not all good if they do reach out for help. How can they learn to reach out without faith in people in general?

star someone stole mi car!

Subject had never embraced the Poor Little Me mindset, as a child. They were fully aware that they were weird %u2013 %u201Cweird%u201D by child/teen standards (on those rare occations when very young, when they would play with others, they would often stop and go over to talk with parents %u2013 preferring their company. Subject understands that they are/were weird and tried to assimilate, but never quite got the hang of it.

STARGIRL WROTE

"how does the "subject" know they are hated by ALL? Did every single kid in their school tell the subject they hated them?....I highly doubt it.%u201D

Constant reinforcing behaviors with little deviation can set the truth in a person's mind even without having anything directly said. In other words, if one sets one's hand down on a hot stove everyday, then it will not take long for this person to become aware that extreme heat can burn. When subject's only social encounters are with those who bully / demean / mock / ridicule and physically assault them, on a daily basis, for the majority of their waking In Public (school) time, then, after a period of years, they can understand how it is and take everyone in the immediate vicinity as an enemy. Though the school aged years, this theory was proven wrong exactly twice, outside of the institution. Details to follow...

STARGIRL WROTE

%u201CAnd "constant complete torment"?....are they really saying that nobody ever in their entire life held out a hand of friendship or understanding?....Never?

There were two exceptions to the rule. In both cases the exceptions were kids brand new to the school. Once was a girl who showed kindness to subject at first %u2013 until word got around and she, wisely fearing equal treatment %u201Cgot with the program%u201D and joined the masses. The second was a boy who befriended subject %u2013privately- and tore at them worse when around others.

Strangely, these brief minor encounters with civility and friendship (plus the time subject actually HAD friends in the institution) actually made things WORSE %u2013 emotionally. It is BAD knowing that one is weird and hated and friendless. It is WORSE knowing that one is weird, hated and friendless having experienced the Other side at least briefly.

%u201CIf one leads a bad life, they send you to Hell. %u2013 But if one has been Truly WICKED, they give them a tour of Heaven First%u201D

The problem being that the majority of the subject's peers were more or less steady. From grade one to grade two, to three, to four and so on. Subject WAS weird by child standards and children are quick to pick up on exploit weirdness. When subject went to a new school or grade many of their tormenters went with them, or subject's innate weirdness did them in despite subject's best efforts.


STARGIRL WROTE

%u201CThis "story" seems to have been written by the subject, and if you've been a teenager you know that as a teenager your "torment" seems so much worse than it actually is.%u201D

The problem lies in that the angst of childhood/teen years has this way of becoming the neurosis of adulthood. Subject is keenly aware of being different, and wishes they could be normal. As it is...

Subject has had a great deal of free time on their hands over the years for self assessment and introspection. Subject doesn't regard them self as fully human (subject is biologically human, lets not venture into science fiction territory) but in other ways subject is very different.

Emotionally subject doesn't regard themselves as human (using the word Human the way some racists use the word Nigger)

Sexually... twisted.

Psychologically...

Subject dreams of butchering humans but is not in the Serial Killer vein because they empathize with humans just enough not to want them to needlessly suffer. In short, subject is at odds with humans, doesn't care for them, but doesn't overtly wish them harm (Overall. subject also keeps a Revenge book going back three decades of people to avenge themselves on. Oh, nothing messy or illegal, but %u2013 a ruined relationship here, a job termination there, an arrest here, a keystroke on a car there %u2013 and has spent a good sum of money keeping track of people over the years for this reason)

All in all, subject is mostly harmless, though they sometimes might WISH otherwise.

Subject doesn't blame their guardians. The grandparents tried very hard, but were simply of a different era and set of values than the child at the time. If anything, the child was too polite, well read and well meaning (at the time) to fit in well with others of their age.

THIS STORY IS VERY MUCH TRUE , AS A CHILD GROWING UP, I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHY , I WAS A CHILD IN FIRST GRADE
WHICH , WAS ME ..WAS SO INTERESTED IN SEX
AS THE YEARS WENT ON , I WAS TORTURED BY
AND ABUSED BY PEERS IN SCHOOL FOR BEING
OVERWEIGHT ..MY LIFE WAS LIVING H*LL IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL ..I NEVER HAD MY TEEN YEARS , I NEVER HAD THAT CHANCE TO TAKE A GIRL TO THE PROM.
MY PARENTS HAD HARD TIMES AT HOME , AND
THEY DIVORCED IN 1994 , I LOST MY MOM IN
2003 DUE TO CANCER ..I AM BIPOLAR , I MAKE UP STORIES THAT ARE NOT TRUE ON HERE
I WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE FOR THE WORLD
CAUSE I KNOW THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH , I AM SEARCHING FOR LOVE , BUT , I DOUBT , I WILL FIND IT .. I HAVE BEEN TO DOCTORS , TO SHRINKS , TO THERAPIST , SINCE 1988.
I WILL SOON CELEBRATE MY 40 BIRTHDAY IN FEBRUARY OF 2008 .. IT WILL PROBABLY SUCK JUST LIKE THE OTHER YEARS , I AM
A DIABETIC , GIRLS SAY I AM CUTE BUT
I WANT IMPROVE MY PHYSICAL HEALTH ..I LIKE YOUNGER WOMEN BUT I AM SAFE .. I DO
ADMIT , I COULD MAKE MY LIVING ARRANGEMENTS MORE EASY , IF I JUST WENT INTO A APARTMENT OR PUBLIC HOUSING .
NO WOMAN WILL EVER WANT ME , I WANT KIDS
BUT , H*LL I DO NOT OWN A CAR ..
WHAT GOOD AM I TO ANYONE ., GIRL HAVE
DID NOTHING BUT TRY TO USE ME FOR CYBER
SEX AND USED ME TO GET MONEY WITH SCAMS.
BUT I NEVER LET THEM .. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN
SOME GOOD COMPLIMENTS ON THE INTERNET BUT SOME GIRLS AND /OR OLDER WOMEN ,HAVE SAID I WAS SOME THING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT
I TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS BUT I DON'T KNOW
PEOPLE RUN AWAY FROM ME , SO MAYBE I AM NOT MEANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH.
I GUESS TIME WILL ONLY TELL! SO THATS
MY LIFE , AND NOT A GREAT ONE!

You are ignoring everything that factors internally, AND the degree of the abuse. People can be raised by the best intentioned parents, and still become severely mentally ill.

Would a person who is insane KNOW that they were insane, or would their feelings seem completely normal to them?

They would know. Most of the time people with mental disorders know something is up with them.

I got an idea stargirl, how about you reach in your ass with both hands and pull your head out, how about it? If you have no social skills and no matter how nice the guardians are HE IS MISSING MOTHER AND FATHER figures. You have the balls to blame the child for his lack of adaption? You can't all of a sudden speak English if you learned French all your life, it would take time to adapt your neurological network with new pattern formations. Oh, I am sorry stargirl, I forgot you are projecting your own judgments about yourself on the subject. Thats why you are depressed, you are irrationally thinking that everything is your fault. Therefore everything is your responsibility, if I come up to you and slap you across your face, its your fault right? This kind of negative thinking patterns produce depressive schemas.

I love your quote "If one leads a bad life, they send you to Hell. But if one has been Truly WICKED, they give them a tour of Heaven First." In this case I don't think he truly experienced "heaven" yet. I would like to know the current age of the subject.

Subject has unorthodox sexual desires, subject has violent tendencies, subject feels isolated and alone. Subject is all too human.

Sometimes certain people deserve to get thrown through the metaphorical plate glass window. Ever heard of battered person syndrome? If I degraded you and tortured you psychologically and and/or physically every time you arrived to work. You would just take it? You would not want to hurt me back?

um... stargirl, I didn't say the grandparents abused him. I was referring to his peers... lol

The kid was probably in such a state of distress emotionally that he may have been a ticking time bomb. He should have been monitered or removed to a place where he could have further nurturing before it happened.

"If you slap me across the face it's your fault because you're the only one with control over your arm.....comprehend personal responsibility yet?"

The thing is, he probably did not have control over his arm- in extreme cases, like in court, authorities recognise that not everything is so cut and dry as you make it sound.

and if he did have control over his arm, in his disturbed mind, he felt justified... or it was an angry outburst. In adults, I can see how people would not accept this. But as a kid with a history of isolation and abuse by peers, mistrust, etc, I believe that if there is blame to be had, it should not be all on him- it should be dispersed through his guardians, teachers, and the people who discharged him from whatever haven he was at.

Yeah, that I can agree with lol.

you know i know this might sound a little crazy...but i think your problem is you're an only child.i'm an only child and i never had any friends in school,and i was never really social.I was abused emotionally and physically by kids up until middle school (and i went to christian schools).it also maybe because you look different or something.I think the only reason why i got taunted and teased in elementary school was b/c i was so short,than when middle school came around i was 4'10 and i had a C sized chest,so yea i looked like a side-show freak.I have an extremely low self-esteem.I'm 21 and i've been told by a few people that i'm pretty now or whatever,and i get hit on alot,but i have a hard time dealing with people.i used to think i was a freak.the only friends i ever had was maybe one or two kids in my neighborhood.now i dont really have any friends,and i dont date.i just cant figure out how to be normal,and talk to people. It's hard to find people out there who are trustworthy,people who are REAL.The sad thing about my childhood was my teachers and even adults who babysat me would never believe anything i said,and i always appeared to be a troublemaker,but i wasn't.I think the best thing for you to do (depending on your age) is to get a job maybe even two,and save as much money as possible,and run,start over start fresh and clean.Some people may say this advice is callow and reckless,but in your case it just might work. BY the way dont beat yourself down about your parents. i was fortunate enough to have both parents who loved me,and took care of me.Be thankful your grandparents cared for you,you could have been in a much worse situation,like foster care. i hope what i said helps you,and if dont want to leave where you are at,when you get older,Go to a community college first before a university,i guarentee it will help you,it has helped me so much.i mean yea there's snotty preppy bitches,but there is also the nicest and funniest teachers and classmates i have ever been around. good luck to you!!! buddyyy

-dirt dobbler

this reminds me of this one kid at my high school who shit himself in the locker room. So we made him eat his shit off the floor. LOL priceless.