DESTROYED BYE FRIENDS

sorry about the spelling befor you dive into me, funny as we'll because my cousen was a better friend than any of the people I know and my cousen hated these people who think they was good friends I stook up for these at certain times and he hated my friends, my cousen was the last thing on my mind and now they have pushed him in my face, I just give up becauise life never seems to go my way and they don't know what they have done to me at all, at all just a joke to them, all behind my back all of it. 7 years later, infact when I get hold of somebody thers a couople who is on my mind they realy will be in for a suprise for what they have said they realy will.

and I have the joy of finding out on christmas eve. you are a wanker if it is you and you havn't won you'r little comic act no way I have my hole life to get you back for this.

I should have everything going for me in life. I am a straight person at the end of the day and that is enough for you to realise that mentaly I shouldn't be like this and just when I get my self of steam back and want to go out I find something else to battle never mind what the self embarrisment I took without having to go out because I think I punished my self in a way for that and thats why I havn't been out I miss certain friends and sozialization not 1 person you fucking daft cunts, I desserve a life just like you do and you know all ready that you know it isn't me, but those people who only no me bye face are realy going to sink into this little story of me staying in for reasons that are on a nother level of being the truth, I needed time to sort my head out a lot and you lot thort you would end me whilst I was recovering my self and not only end me but you have done it in a way that I carn't get used to, I haven't got hang up from people who have died I miss sozialization I don't get it honest, you'r probebly reason I'v been stoping in and you know it so why change it to something else what is with you!!!!!!!! I get people putting love songs on and that thinking that its riffering to me, thinking of someone else, that is down right evil and you know you fucking no it.people realy do amaze me you must have had it in for me big time and thats why you have done it if you look deep into you'r head, bunch of wasters I regret ever fucking noing, back stabbing bit of trailer trash.

deep inside you must know that I don't want any of this, I don't enjoy having to stick up for my self to be honest because I shouldn't have to, one minute I'm angry thne sad I just want normality and if I had it now I would care what you have write or anything, I just don't like it when you act as if that is realy what you think and shorly after 4 month you must realise that this area is troubleing me but more the less that doesn't bother you, I know I have retaliated but again why should I have to, why are you even there for me to retaliate, why do you put me on the same level as you when I know in my self that it isn't me, you havn't half rattled me these past months, ages, must have been lovely for you, absolutly lovely, I want to forget and move on but every time I want to know what my enamies have cunjerd up agains me next, it's christmas for god sake and that is enough don't you think, for the last year it sempt I have had to put up with people false jujgements and basicly I have had enough, stop making me retaliate and stop talking to me like I am some fucking freak because I'm not and everyone learns in life thats what makes you a better person, it's as if you want me to be this person for the rest of my life never ricuvering and never having a life. I see life exactly the same, I swareand if I here james blunt played and people reffering it to me when I hate the basterd, and it makes me laugh what they think is going through my head, and me not having my say just looked at, thats that, and done, over and out, it's people every where love convisation and take a flying leap to have there say if it's little chunt or tearing into me online, I have been sat at home like a cocanut with a brain for the last decade and I know in my self that it isn't good for me and I am a good normal person who see's normality a long shot even tho it should be all there on my dorestep, I am in a harmatic mood now and my intorests arn't to be angry just to for get this little episode and move on without havn't people on my mind as well as everything else, as you know I am a understandable person and I know how you like to have you'r say but just leave it at that now, I mentaly feel better even tho it isn't half of what a should be feeling, I carn't pin my finger dead on one person for everythin so I aint going to look at anybody bad, but people have let me know from this who you'r real friends are and thats why I wouldn't nock bout wi certain people anymore anyway. so somewhere it might improve my life, sorry bout the spellings I have jumbled on and on but I am bord and want something to do, and thats probably all you wanted maybe you didn't realise what you where doing to me because you felt I desserved all of this and after a while I felt it myself but I think now and, no I don't desserve this and you know it, I'm fucking thick myself I should have staide in I should have just gone out but at the time I was thinking a bit different I wish I had taken a different path, I am very bord thats why I am jotting down anything that pops into my head so you can get a total jist of what my mentality is at this moment in time, I just want to be happy, is it two much for you to see me happy or sumet carn't you hack it, I don't get it or you, but like you said when you get a label it does't come off maybe if it wasn't for you I would have came out erliare and erased this false name that has grew on me, but nope, just as you want it labeled even tho I am staight, fucking labeled, I feel a better person now aswell I feel more metuar and adult I would have liked life more adult and stade off the street and just gone in the pub but no I carn't.

maybe I'm a bit paranoide god nose, I shunt give a fuck what people think. things have struck me at a very bad time. but shit happens I guess, I am starting to open my eyes slightly, it wasn't you what made me paranoide the dope I think,fucknose.

and god why was I listening to you anyway, you aint my mate? I blame myself for behing stupid.
sorry readers of this site, paranoia realy settled in, why did I even come on this stupid thing anyway, it's a fucking sad mans game fucking wank.astala vista babieee. THAT COULD BE A BANGING READ, THIS KID PROVIDES PLENTY OF FABULOUS STORY TIME. AND MY SPELLING IS SPOT ON DON'T YOU THINK, i bet if you went through the hole of what I have read you wouldn't find won misstake.

Just to let you know, I tried reading all this stuff and I don't have a clue what you're saying.

Which is why spelling and punctuation come in handy...

Sorry buddy but can translate all of this into something that makes sense because I haven't the slightest clue of what your talking about.

This pesky user has been removed for repeatedly abusing other users and being a pain in the butt. Behave or you will suffer the same fate. - The Management

Hello!, Just thought I'd say a close relative of mine has the agoraphobia someone here talks of, which is a fear of open spaces or going outside. Whoever you are PLEASE! PLEASE! go out more and fight the urge to stay at home all the time. I imagine you're going through a real tough time right now, but those people you say are thinking and saying bad things about you are just picking up on that you're depressed and having a dig at you as it detracts from their own weaknesses, in other words they are just bullies. Some people take the pi** or make comments about people behind their back for a whole World of reasons be it you have a big nose, spotty, fat, short, tall, or skinny, but the best sure way of dealing with these pests is to not show that it bugs you. Yes easy to say it I know, but believe me it works. Your tormentors are probably quite insecure and weak, despite how they may appear to all else around, ie: loud, confident, and full of themselves.
What it sounds like to me is someone has taken a tiny little bit of information about you that suits their prejustice, latched onto it, distorted it, and told it to others as if it were true, along with lies.
Don't let them waste your life like this!.
I bet really you're a strong individual with talents yes? and some are jealous of you, and that because for the last few months as you say have been depressed, some of these jealous individuals are basically kicking you while you're down.......hey! that's pretty low of them eh?.
Is there a close family member you can talk to? I don't know your age, maybe you're quite young at school...is there a teacher you get on well with, that you can talk to. Talking to people that you can trust really helps, even if it's your doctor. I say doctor as you may need councelling, nothing to be ashamed of as many many people do for things like depression, it does not mean you're nuts or a bad person.
But please don't get into the habit of shutting yourself away like this, you may not think so right now maybe, but your life is worth way too much to let it be ruined by a few mindless individuals that can do no more than pick up on little things and pull it all to bits.
I'll get back to you if I find something online that may be of some use to you.
Be strong! don't let the concrete heads get to you, if you have a talent....nurture it.
I dearly hope you find "true" friends soon!!.
Good luck in the new year.

respect

idiot

Hi there man... I know what u're going trough ...totally fkd up! I can tell u that i was in quite the same situation ... I'm still not out of that yet, but i am starting to realise something ... I'm feeling much better thing i realised some things ... that is
a) ilalways walk alone
b) people hurt you much as you let them to hurt you
c) if you realise (b) u will stay alone
I know that stuff. Cuz something like that has happened to me for about 3-4 years ago. I had friends since then, but never a realy good one ... So i just isolated my self from the rest of the world. AND NOW , I WAS ALMOST ABOUT TO KILL MY SELF BECAUSE OF MY LONELINESS! Just pls, if ure gonna read thiss , don't isolate ure self! just watch out who is the person that you going to let enough near to your heart to get you hurt. At least , the web chat is a good thing to survive night ... Except if u're going on internet through a dial-up connection. Than the thing that is really going to kill you is ure phone bilt :))
I isolated myself, and now there is no coming back. I really can not see any escape out of thiss , and i'll say it to you once again : DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU, NO MATHER WHAT THE COST!
P.S. i am a metalhead and as a reason why i don't get out of my home alot other people figured out that i am an satanist, and there is a lot of stuff... It's now just funny to watch them , how their minds always think the same and how they can't see anything ... I can to defeat them, but that don't changes the fact that i'll walk and stay all alone and on my own.Untill i find someone who is different ... . In begining that had insolted me , but now i find that quite funny thing ... The fact that people are so meen to me for no reason is now begun to be fun to me cuz i've found a way to make them look like a fools in front of me, and whenever they try to hurt me,and they tell me the things and do to me the things that would break me i just say no and strike back. The evil that man do lives on and on ...
P.s. i'm really starting to like thiss site. I can't tell you hov many stories i've read here and tought " me too ... "

Too much! I can't get past the first three lines cos you haven't used nearly enough punctuation.

But, uhh, I hope you are ok and end up happy =0)

Too long, didn't read.

Not even doom music will make this comprehensible.