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I need help... seriously.

Hello everyone... I've over read some other people's stories prior to mine, so I already know that there will be some arrogant people who have no disregard for other peoples feelings, posting rude and obscure comments about my story... so please.. control yourself... but my name's Kyle, and I have many suicidal tendancies.. On a day to day basis, I feel depressed.. I can be out at a party dancing, then go off to another room, and sit, and just stare at the floor with nothing but depression, and painful memories.. I've had a rough childhood.. in Middle-High school.. I was picked on alot.. I had long, greasy hair, and acne swarming my face... no fashion sense.. mismatched clothing.. but I had a personality of a saint.. I had no friends, noone to talk to. I didn't do my work, so I failed miserably at everything. When I got home with a report card showing my failure cleanly with straight F's.. my parents were upset, yet I had no remorse.. just the thought of killing myself.. so I went to a gun cabinet that my father had, since he's a Police Officer, he has guns laid out throughout our home, and I got one of his hand guns, put a bullet in the chamber, c*cked it, put it to my head, and was about to pull the trigger.. I was about 14-15 at the time.. but my father felt bad for yelling at me and came to apologize.. he must have heard my wheeping so he came into the room I was and stopped me.... I could continue with more stories about my past, but all I'm asking is if I should seek medical attention for this sort of thing.... or someone's opinion on the 'maybe' it's just a sequential string of depressing actions brought upon me, on a day to day basis.. although some days are just fine, beautiful sunny day outside, yet I still find myself locked in my bedroom with dry cheeks from tears.. what's wrong with me? Can somebody help?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (5)
Sprinkles (10609)
2007-11-09 02:21:43
Sounds like you are bi-polar. Drastic, sudden mood swings.

YES, you should seek professional help. You can feel alot better but you need to get help.

Do not hesitate. Do not be embarrased. GET HELP.
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WTFZORZ (11621)
2007-11-09 06:29:49
if it gets to the point where you are borderline suicide(i mean knife to the neck). get attention imidiatly. You have to look for something you like, first off you need to let your parents know. then go about finding something that really interests you. if its hunting, hunt, if its masterbating, beat of regularly, if its a girl...try not to abuse of her, she has feelings too. i've found that for me video games can calm me down, also sports can be self promoting.
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GivenUp (11303)
2007-11-11 13:21:03
I can help, My name is Alex. all i can say to you now is Project Thanatos. e-mail me: givenup1@hotmail.co.uk
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GonnaGetSome (11648)
2007-11-11 13:25:52
You should not do it no matter how low you get. Life is precious. Sometimes there are biological reasons for feelings and behaviours that can be treated....seek help from a professional.
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dillfly2000 (11862)
2007-11-22 13:20:31
Hmmm, thats nothing, my life was worse, i am bi polar, but i dont feel like i need other peoples approval.

its funny, i was tormented and picked on all my life, now im a really good looking guy and all the gals want a piece, but because of my past, i am really shy, very caring, and still a virgin (i prefer), i was molded to the person i am today, and honestly quite fine with it, i actually enjoy being alone (i am still a geek at heart).

remember, its not about impressing others, its about living life, acceptance from other humans should not be first priority, it should be last. enjoy yourself, for life is exactly what you make of it.
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