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Is It Normal?
What do you think?
How do you be more social?
I've been kind of anti-social my whole because I have been shy. Well I am starting to open up more but I am never the life of the party. I stayed with friends for five days and I couldn't think of anything to say to add to conversations. My friends would joke around and say:

"Oh just shut up Ashley." because I wasn't talking at all.

I just never know what to say and I am always terrified I am going to say something stupid. How do you open up more and not look like an idiot?

I ask this because I am moving in with a couple of friends for a month and I don't want them to get bored with me. I have to live with them until I save enough money to get my own apartment.

I also want to be more social because I've never had a boyfriend. If I can't carry a conversation no guy is ever going to want to be with me. If he does it will only be for one thing.
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Comments (24)
brothershamass (380)
2007-11-14 09:29:21
I was quite shy when I was young, I remember my mother saying I'd grown out of it one day when I was older. At the time I didn't believe her. Of course as always she was right. I'd say the same to you.

Don't worry about moving in with your friends, they obviously like you for who you are. I'm sure you're not shy around your family and after living with your friends for a while it will be exactly the same.

Before you know it, you'll be making an arse of yourself and not giving to hoots!
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Fred (2022)
2007-11-14 09:38:25
I'm the same way, in a sense. I only speak when spoken to, but it seems to get me through the day quite adequately. Many people comment on how quiet I am, but I really pay them no mind unless a response is required. Most of my replies are quite robotic in nature, and most people who have known me for quite some time know what I'm going to say before I say it. I honestly don't even know why they bother asking me the same questions every day, as if my answers are going to change. It makes no sense to me. Anyhow, I don't see any problems with what you're saying. Just speak as long as it's required for advancement.
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Crookshanks (10749)
2007-11-14 10:10:13
Your friends your moving in with, are they really good friends of yours that you feel comfotable being silly with, cause living with them and not in the restrictedness of parents house you will find you become more confident, just keep your friends by you when your out and eventually the fun silly side of you (like at home) will rub onto your going out side.
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Shella868 (11291)
2007-11-14 10:25:18
Yes they are, well I am good friends with the one. I am just starting to become friends with her boyfriend because they live together.
I don't live at home at the moment. I live by myself but I am moving to the city because I found a job out there. I got laid off from my job here and there is nothing in my small town. I am living with them until I save money for first and last months rent.
In my town here I'm not friends with anyone so I don't go out at all. I am at home every night which is why I am moving to the city, I have friends out there so I don't have to be lonely anymore. But even if we're good friends, I still have trouble at first.
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gump07 (11704)
2007-11-14 11:19:34
I'm the same way. Although not as bad as I used to be. Not sure how old you are, but you should grow out of it. I'm just not the type to really have a whole lot to say anyways, you might be the same way. And yea, I've been told that I was talking way too much also, even though I hadnt said a word. It just shows they like you and they want you to talk. Its all good. :)
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Didge_Daz (5056)
2007-11-14 11:49:44
@: Shella868
Well if you have interests you can gear the conversations twords there, or find ppl whom you ahres some aspects of your life its easy lol also knowing a couple of jokes wont hurt either, just let yourself be known and know in return

p.s beware the porcupine problem, you cant shut ppl off socialy or emotionaly just out of fear of getting hurt/made fun off, like Shamas said, dont give a hoot and do your thing :)


peace JAH bless
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Mimir2 (3348)
2007-11-14 12:11:25
@poster

the best thing for you would be to live with other people always.
Living alone will not help you overcome your shyness.
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nearly (10533)
2007-11-14 12:35:54
Until I got a job in a bar, I was very introvert. That bar job was at 21 years of age, and now, I am the reverse. I am a total extravert. I speak to anyone anywhere. I make insulting remarks, but in a very cheeky way that always makes them either smile or laugh. I have had a few stuck up bits who just stick their noses in the air and walk away and then I just point at them and pee myself laughing. People around me start laughing and the stuck up one invariably looks round with a look of dissdain to see what we are all laughing at and that just makes me even worse.
Basically, you will come out of your shell and even if you don't, wheres the problem? As long as you can talk when you need to and enjoy a laugh now and then there is no problem.
Good luck.
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Orochimaru (9975)
2007-11-14 12:37:12
Clubs, friend introduction, ank nearly he is smart..
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nearly (10533)
2007-11-14 13:26:05
@: Orochimaru
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~tissue paper for you Oro, your nose is covered in shit!
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Orochimaru (9975)
2007-11-14 13:30:11
@: nearly
yeah and your breath smells like dick and shit...blowing dick AND ass...
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Knuckifyoubuck (9689)
2007-11-14 14:22:56
This post is long and boring
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Footfan_90 (10400)
2007-11-14 16:22:02
It will come naturally once you move in with these friends for that longer time. Just fool around if you can't think of anything to say, talk in circles, talk bullshit, it doesn't really matter when you're with friends.
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realitychecks (11086)
2007-11-14 19:29:42
Things will work out. It sounds like you have a good friend. For clarification, are you moving in with your friend and her boyfriend? That's whatI understood. There are guys out there who will flirt with you and come on to you when they have a girlfriend, (roomates, etc.) You said you were becoming friends with him, which is good, ss long as he isn't hitting on a shy girl, roomate or not. Maybe he has a cute friend you can meet. Just be yourself. As nearly said, as a bartender he met many ppl, maybe a glass of wine or a beer. Just not to much alcohol. You'll open up! Good luck.
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Shella868 (11291)
2007-11-15 16:55:29
@: realitychecks
I don't think he'll hit on me. I'm not pretty enough. But if he did which i doubt I'd just ignore him.
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realitychecks (11086)
2007-11-20 20:23:37
@: Shella868
I'm sure you're pretty enough. Alot of times guys find women attractive for being shy, etc. Just look out for yourself and good luck.
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gizzie56 (8681)
2007-11-20 20:31:49
@: realitychecks
Hey Realitychecks hows it going tonight? I wish you would come on here more often your comments definitely bring sanity to IIN.
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realitychecks (11086)
2007-11-20 20:36:11
@: gizzie56
Well thank you Gizzy, My night is going well, and how about yours? As far as bringing sanity, I'm not sure. I'm just saying what I think!
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gizzie56 (8681)
2007-11-20 20:39:16
@: realitychecks
Well i respect people that say what they think,so rock on girl! I'm having a great evening looking forward to turkey day,and thanks for asking.
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realitychecks (11086)
2007-11-20 20:42:07
@: gizzie56
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Tip one back for me. If you like to drink a beer now and then.
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gizzie56 (8681)
2007-11-20 20:52:53
@: realitychecks
Well you can bet your ass i will be watching football and drinking beer. lol
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realitychecks (11086)
2007-11-20 20:53:52
@: gizzie56
Hope the best team wins! Lol
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gizzie56 (8681)
2007-11-20 20:54:10
@: realitychecks
Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
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Shella868 (11291)
2007-11-21 17:38:38
I was confused for a moment about the Thanksgiving thing. I forgot American's celebrate it in November. Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrated it.
I'm Canadian so I had mine in October.
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