What do you think?

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There’s not enough REALLY good mayonnaise these days
and by "good" I mean to say
not that cheap, slimy crap you get at the ROC
on double discount days

That cheap crap reminds me of many things
like some sticky remains from the money scene
at the set of "Ass Cannibals Meet the Bambi Twins on Uranus"
you must admit it's possible - that crap could be this

It's really more like the frothy secretions
of a frisky wild boar eating berries and cream
he neglects to floss again and again
but has the best of intentions

No, it's more like an aggravated aortal aneurysm
sutured with whipped cream without success
(Actually, it's not very much like this
but I do like alliteration, don't all of us?)

Well, I know I’m a tasteless, tainted poet
my work is unseasoned, and so
I really should put a bullet through my brain
since there’s not enough REALLY good mayonnaise these days