What do you think?

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I am 26 female and I have urges to be sexual with my step father. I think about his penis a lot and masturbate and think about him inside me or going down on me, A LOT. I have tried to work up the courage to let him know how I feel but I am scared. He is 61 and I think he would love giving it to me. I also think about older men and fantasize about them "assaulting" me sexually or "raping" me but me really enjoying it. It makes me aroused thinking about him and I want to know is this normal? Should I approach him or maybe just go sit down across from him with a dress on and no panties and open my legs and start playing with myself? Or bend over? I was thinking of maybe sitting next to him at the table and touching his leg and moving my hand up to his penis and stroking it a while during dinner. Or taking his hand under the table and putting it on my hot throbbing crotch and rubbing myself on it a little and then see what he does. If he for some reason doesnt want to, how can I find a man who wants to experience my fantasy with me in a hotel room in southern california and let me call them daddy while they take advantage of me ( I really want to pretend I am being molested and forced to suck it, and I want to hear stuff like "suck daddy's d*ck") I wasnt molested as a child so no fear of past issues coming into this. I have just always wanted to get it from my step-dad.