It's normal to feel the way you do. I'm one of those perfect life kids. My life was toooo perfect. We're talking money, brains, love, popularity, and beauty. It's hard living up to a crtain standards because your parents and peers put you there. I never was depressed, but I did develop a problem I do not wish to talk about. Lets just say I went to the dentist, andhe alerted my parents to splash marls on the back of my teeth. You don't have to see a shrink, you might be depressed, but cutting yourself? Dude, not good. Anyway my world came crashing down when both of my parents died a few months apart, and then 5 other family members just dropped in the 2 years to follow. Now, I wish I had them and the life I had. I now have the money, still the looks, some friends, but no family. Do you know I'd give up anything to have them back? Please, enjoy life as it is right now. You are actually blessed. So many people in this world are struggling with death, disease,famine, and need of shelter. So may peoles world are litterely(sp) crashing down on them every f ing day. What can you possible complain about? There are much worse things. If you dont feel like smiling and acting a certain way because you don't feel like it, DONT! Nobody says you have to, and if they do tell them to do it for you, shit! Are you cutting yourself because you feel like you need to have more control in your life? Dude, you are doing nothing but losing well needed blood, and scarring yourself. The only person who will truly care is you, because when yo finally do accept life for what it is, you're going to say " What the fuck did I do that for?" Just relax, and chill out. Enjoy life, because it can change in the wink of an eye, and then you will wish for what you had. Belive me friends, money, and love will mean nothing to you if your world falls apart. enjoy.

You shoudl feel thankful for what you have. A lot of people can't afford to go to college, and some people can't even earn enough money to feed themselves, so stop being depressed and be thankful.

I don't understand people like you.

Maybe it's the people you live around or friend's with. most people go deppressed through that, or other thing, have a holiday or something and be around the people that love you or respect you for who you are and then I carn't see any reason for you'r deppression, deppression is deeper than you would think using the turm deppressed sometimes is used lightly you might just feel down or even board find a new hobby or something I don't know.

I agree with the other two comments, but need to say that such feelings around the teen years (especially as a junior or senior in high school) are probably more common than you think. This is the age when you will be "out in the real world" for the first time (going to college) and big decisions and changes are happening for you now which will change your life. How will college life be? Will I be able to "make the grade". Will I be a success in college? Will I be able to still be an honor student? Are there concerns about leaving home for college? Will I be homesick? Will I be able to find a job after college? Will I be able to make it "in the real world"? Will I be able to continue to live up to my parent's expectations?

Gosh, lots of worries. I've been there before myself, fortunately not to the extent that you have been.

And, I could be all wrong, but those were the things that affected me at that age and made me not happy and (fortunately only) slightly suicidal.

But enjoy life! Get help if you need to!

life isnt perfect, you can have everything you want and there will always something missing.

swap with me and have another life experiance, ive had a hard life. and i no people who actually would have prefferred a bit of difficulty. those who get everything paid for them and have both parents in the house, brothers and sister, all that shit.

I totally agree with Vile Platitude.You have everything a person can want.So STOP fucking complaining and
learn how to cope with your depression.You have a boyfriend,wealth,popularity,your smart and have a "perfect life".
GET OVER IT!

I'm 23yrs. old, and I had the exact opposite of you. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, foster care, being given away when I was nine, sexual abuse, dirt poor, and then, to top it all off, I developed some serious addictions. Right now, I just got out of a four month stint in a christian rehab, I'm a convicted felon and I just want to cry. Sometimes, I think my life will never get better. Depression has been apart of me since the beginning of time. I guess, sometimes, I think if I had a life like your's, everything would be alright. But, I guess, judging by how upset you are, there's no saying for sure if it would have been better at all. You should really evaluate what about your life is making you so sad. What you feel you're lacking. Don't pay attention to the people on here who tell you to quit whining. I can say, from personal experience, that no one has a right to judge, less they walk in your shoes themselves. Like I said, look at your life and try and figure out what is missing. I have a suggestion. If reading the mini cap of my life has sparked even a remote amount of sympathy or empaty in you, then I just want you to know, that my personal relationship with God has saved my life many times. I'm not talking about becomming a religious nut, I'm talking about know Jesus. Know how much he loves you, know that he has a purpose for you and only you can fulfill it. Know that you can always talk to him, and not only will he listen, but he will completly understand. I countinue to struggle, up to this very minute, with my addiction. Some days, I succomb to the cravings, other days I overcome them. But, no matter what, he loves me and he cares. I hope things start getting better for you.

Odeido,I did not know that you are a convicted felon.That doesn't matter though.I trully am happy that you are a religious person even after all that you have went through.I've read a few of your comments and it seems to me that know alot about the bible.You are an inspiration to christians.I realize that you aren't perfect because of your drug addiction,and the fact that you did commit a crime.Do you think you are going to heaven?(just a question.)
I'm sure that you will.I know that you shouldn't be pointing out other peoples flaws but I just get so sick of this world sometimes.(not the actual earth,just the people that are on it)That would be my biggest flaw,judging people,which I shouldn't do.Anyways,I don't agree with everything you say but I sure do respect and admire your religious views and spirituality.Oh,and for the person that posted the original story,I'm sorry for how you feel.I trully am.I haven't experienced the depression that you have,but I understand that you are suffering.But remember,it is a mental illness and is NOT your fault.Please get some help.

I know that I am going to Heaven. I don't mean to sound obnoxious by saying this, it's just something I know deep down in my soul. Jesus Christ came to this Earth and died for people like me. If it weren't for people like me, his assistance wouldn't have been necessary. I know this world is frustrating, believe me. I've spent a very long time being very bitter. I was so angry. I was angry that my mom was mentally ill, that she gave me away. I was angry that I was poor and couldn't afford the nice clothes or the class trips. I was angry that I was so much more aware for my age and that I felt 'different'. Even now I deal with envy. I envy my peers that get to go out and party every night while I sit day in and day out with nothing to do. I envy kids who have parents that love them with all there hearts and would do anything for them while mine are never there for me. I deal with envy and anger a lot! Envy is a deadly sin for a reason, and, for so long in so many ways, it was killing me spiritauly. But, now, I have my faith. I have faith that Jesus has a purpose for me. He let me go through what I went through so that I could become more humble, forgiving, less critical and more loving. I could have done without the pain, but I would have missed all that I have learned. Life is hard. Life can suck. There are a lot more valleys than there will ever be mountain tops. But, God loves me. He has my best interest in heart. And, no matter what I do, these facts will never, ever change. I put my faith in that, and it gets me through. I try, not always successfully, to focus on his glory. Beautiful sunrises, a warm, spring day, a cool breeze, children playing. It sounds tacky, but, sometimes, in the midst of maddness, it gets you through and it gives you hope. I have to believe that God has something great for me. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. He sees the heart of a person, and he knows that I am worthy. He loves me, and he wouldn't turn away someone he loved.

Odeido,I understand that you had a hard life.And that's harsh,it really is.I don't like discussing my personal life to anybody,but...my father is also mentally ill.I haven't had the hardest life.I had my ups and downs.I would always get angry at rich kids and even at the middle class.(I grew up poor)I also my problems with envy.My family wasn't that religious.I decided to embrace my faith and become more interested in catholicism.( I was born a catholic,and baptized).Soon I became very religious.I have sinned like anyone else.I will not deny that.I am an average man.No more,no less.(hence my name).It's great that you are religious and a fellow christian.Anyways,you seem like a very good person.I admire your faith bu I will pray for your enthusiasm for life.

You have a near perfect life that others would die for,yet you say you are depressed and suicidal.I really want to be nice about this,but I can't hold it in:

YOU GOD DAMN EMO SON OF A BITCH MOTHERFUCKER.

Your feelings are very normal. So are these kind of responses.
It's easy to say somebody somewhere has it worse so why worry, but it's not that simple. Depression knows no boundaries and often isn't experienced for "good" reasons. Cutting is nothing new, but it has definitely acquired momentum. Everyone who cuts does it for a different reason. As someone who has ruined his own skin, I sympathize with you. Personally, I've grown to regret my scars. At first I lied about them, but now I just have to tell everyone what they really are. I know how bad it gets, but there ARE better alternatives. It sounds like you aren't too sure why you feel the way you do. Hang on and see what's around the corner. For better or worse, college can be many things. By the way, I'm still depressed as hell, but it's always getting better.

I have one question and that is will you break up with your boyfriend? I promise I will make you happy. ;)

I'm going to keep this short and sweet, because a lot of people have already had a lot to say, and I don't really want to just be repeating. So, 2 things;

1) Your feelings are normal. Your reaction to it isn't completely normal, but it's not uncommon either.

2) If you don't want to see a psychologist, then you're probably going to have to perform a little self-diagnosis. You're going to continue being depressed until you figure out why, so that's what you need to do. Once you know why you're in this state of mind, you can potentially do something about it.

I would also state one of the reasons why you self-harm is because it releases endorphins, which make you feel happy; they're essentially natural pain killers. There are many other ways to release endorphins, which will have the same effect but without the physical damage, such as physical exercise, breathing techniques, and eating certain foods (such as) chocolate. If you can't find the root of your depression to do something about it, then at least you can move to a different way of coping.

Whatever you do, best of luck.

I think I know why you hate your life.

Now, you didn't really say this, but I'm assuming it from what you said - people believe you have everything. This, in a psychological manner, makes you as a person feel worthless. I know this, because I've seen it in my more well off friends. The more perfect their lives are and people make a big deal of it, the less they lose faith in themselves.

I can't say I've had an extraordinarily hard life, but I've had problems. My father died when I was young, I live in a trailer park with my step father and mother, and my brother is currently serving prison time for drug charges. It's no fun, but I deal. But, because I have little less than some, I know that all I have in this world is myself. No hype has ever been brought about my status (with the exception of my intelligence, as I'm currently in AP classes, but I'm far from rich and popular).

You on the other hand, other people made a big deal about things about you, never you. So you see yourself in other people's eyes, a popular, rich girl. And if you continue to see yourself as only that and not a whole human, you will get more depressed.

Then again, maybe I'm way off on this.

One word of advice - Don't kill yourself. To kill yourself is to let the evil in yourself win. Life is the only thing we've got in this world, don't throw it out.

haha gutted

why not skip college right now and since your family can afford it go do some volunteer work in some rathole place like Haiti or Mississippi and you may learn to love your life and advantages a little more.