Are You Normal?

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True Love: Second Opinion

I fell in love with a girl a while back, we seemed perfect for each other. I spent countless thousands to be with her and and do anything and everything to make her happy, for a while it was bliss but after a few visits she went back to her ex-boyfriend because he told her "I joined the military just for you!" and she I assume felt pity towards him. Now she is engaged to him for the forth time and is completely miserable, I've done everything I can to try and change her mind but she refuses even though she has told me on numerous times that she almost asked me to marry her or that she wished she had met me first. I never felt like the way I feel about her ever before and hopefully never will again.
Anyways, is it normal to still be willing to do anything for them even if you know you'll never be with them? And I do mean anything, I have done everything that a girl could ever want (showered her with affection, treated her like no one else ever has, large amounts of flowers and jewelry, and anything else you could think of) I even took time off to stay with her after her mother died even though I live over two-thousand miles away from her and had no vacation time left. In the end I just want her to be happy, no matter what the outcome is for me. Is this normal?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (15)
Anonymous
2006-01-30 18:41:18
Havn't you gotten over this yet, my god.
Reply
silence (442)
2006-01-30 19:37:37
I think that it is great that you value her choice to go with her previous boyfriend. You may not love her exactly, but you care about her as a person and want her to be happy whcih is great. She is lucky to have a good friend like you, but sometimes in order for someone to be happy you have to let them go and discover things on their own. Sometimes in life you have to struggle in order to realize what you have and only then when you find yourself in a good position will you truely value it.

So basically you have to let her be miserable and then find happiness so that she can value what she will eventually have. In the long run she will be okay, and you have to let life take it's course.

Reply
Anonymous
2006-03-03 11:54:40
Clearly wat u need is a zany scheme.
okay, so heres the plan.
1)go awol

2)casually suggest that they get married in a large church or cathidrel with a large stainglass window.

3) spend the time up untill the wedding subtley reminding your girl why she loved you in the first place

4)Find your comedy buddy movie style army freinds and bribe them with beer and pizza into letting you borrow their helicopter.

5) wait until the preist says "speak now or forever hold your peice"

6) fly through the giant stain glass window in a shower of butiful colours yelling "I OBJECT."

7)land in the church and cross your selfe for breaking the stain glass window.

8)then ask your girl to go with you.

9)fly into the away sunset with your girl as everyone celabrates and the evil guy goes "Drat, foiled again!"

10)wink knowingly at the camera and wait for the credits to role and the kick ass theme to start playing.

there, it cant fail, and if it does u can always plead insanity.
wat u think?
Reply
aawood (1744)
2006-05-07 03:22:00
This is unfortunately very normal. And just as she continues to be with him even though she presumably knows it's wrong, so you will continue to follow her even though it will never work out.

She would not take your advice, but maybe you will take mine; Move on. You can still be friends with her, but you need to start pulling away from her slowly, seeing her less. Out of sight is out of mind, and as long as you're in a closeness where you're willing to travel thousands of miles when she wants you, you're never going to be able to stop.

You've done a lot for her; you deserve to be selfish for a little while. And she will understand. I've been there.
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Anonymous
2006-05-07 18:05:36
Definitely move on. She may come around some day, but I think it will take years and there's no sense putting yourself through the emotional turmoil in the meantime. Don't wait around for her, but maybe let her know that if she ever decides to drop the guy for good and you're still single, you'll be there for her.
Reply
Chili_o_rama (1928)
2006-05-09 16:35:54
Extremely normal
Yeah this is depressingly normal. In fact nearly the exact same thing happened to me.

I think what you need to realize is that you are a completely pathetic chump and that you're going nowhere with your current direction. Seriously the best thing you could do for yourself is go and therapeutically fuck at least a few different women a few times each. This is not hurtful to anyone because there are lots of sluts that want that. Maybe it will make you feel a bit bad, but only at first. At first you will feel bad. Then you will feel nothing. Then you will feel good again. You SHOULD want it, it is a symptom of your problem that you probably do not.
Reply
Anonymous
2006-05-10 01:34:41
If this were a break up over mistakes made by one or the other, I'd say work on things. But since this is over another guy, just give up. You will find someone else who will appreciate your devotion.
Reply
tellthetruth (4512)
2006-11-29 18:04:06
u love her but u need to get over it because she will only end up hurting u
Reply
Bellend (4097)
2006-11-29 18:08:18
I think it is normal. Most ppl feel this type of pain at least once in there life.
Reply
milte (4365)
2006-12-06 15:29:28
i think tha tyou should suck his cock every chance you get.
if you dont, he'll probably dump your sorry ass in about 3 weeks
Reply
bouncexmysoul (3948)
2006-12-09 22:12:17
That's so sad and beautiful I can just die..
Win your girl back from the bastard and marry her!
Reply
chubbyninja (4730)
2006-12-13 20:56:20
*crys* OMG I know where exactly you are I feel the same way as you, it is normal for those in love, but for others no, I wish i could help but I say the best thing to do is no matter what anyone says or does you should give her everything she deserves, and hopefully she will come back to you, I never gave it a shot a myself, so I was terriblele miserable, you just have to do whatever u can to get her back, do not be like me and sit back.
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Mimir2 (3348)
2006-12-13 21:16:34
Uhh, he already did that and look where it got him...

You acted like a needy looser who knows he could never get a chic without paying for it and she just dumped you?
Oh my god what a surprise...
Next time, try to have learned something.
Reply
dragoon188 (5130)
2007-01-31 18:18:35
Wow, what a bitch. your girlfirned dumped you after you spent thousands on her? If I was you, I would move on. There is not much you can do. Unless you want to tell her that you would hve wanted to eventually marry her. Also, you could try taking to her ex boyfriend about it.
Reply
tree-hugger (5487)
2007-03-02 09:51:24
@: milte
@:milte

were talking about a guy who is in love w/ a girl and if im not miskaken this girl is not a guy!
Reply