Only serious comments PLEASE!
My name is Bill and I am a gay man and very proud of it. I am an average poster on here but I would rather not reveal myself because I would be an instant target to the pathetic people on this site who like to make fun of others to build up the fake life they are living. My question is simple and to the point so I expect your answers to be the same so if you want to write just to bash me for my choice in life and for the way god made me then make another post and put it on there because I will report you to Udi if you leave me back bad feedback.
Now to my question :)~
I went out to a club a few months back and met a guy named Bruce and since then we have met at the club and a few other places and we eventually started making love. My problem was he never would spend the night nor would he let me come to his house so I decided to follow him one day and I soon realized he is married and has atleast 5 kids. My question is how can I get him to come out and leave his family for his true self? He told me he loves me and I know I love him so what can I do? Would he be mad if he knew I was spying on him?? Would his wife and kids hate me if I approached them and told them about our love affair? Just because he already has kids would that stop him from adopting kids with me? Someone give me some advice please.
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You should be locked up and NO WHERE around children you pedo!
A word of advice. If this man, Bruce, has a wife and kids and he is having dirty anal sex with you then you should blackmail the cunt and make him have more sex with you and make him leave his bank card with you aswell.
If he refuses then go tell his wife.
Just FYI I am a homosexual man also.
You must realize that there are countless men that are in heterosexual marriages yet they have bi or homo tendencies. This is fact. From my experience I would estimate about 35 to 40 percent of supposedly "straight" men have same sex feelings, but for a wide range of reasons, they do not act upon them.
I am assuming that this is a sincere post but the fact that this guys name is "Bruce" makes me just a little, tiny bit suspicious. I mean everyone associates the name "Bruce" with a gay guy. But none-the-less, this is a common situation in society anyways so I will comment.
Obviously he wants a physical relationship with you. If he were to go home with YOU that would take on overtones of a more serious relationship. Remember, this guy is married.
Again, obviously he's not going to take you to his place for the same reason.
You followed him one day. That's normal. You wanted to know more about him. You are attracted to him. As long as you don't become a stalker I have no negative criticism of that.
You asked, and I quote: "My question is how can I get him to come out and leave his family for his true self?"
Forgive me....but what are you? An asshole? You want to break up this guys family?
Again: "He told me he loves me and I know I love him so what can I do?" .... Love? Sorry, but at this point it's really just "lust". Tell me about love a few years from now if you are still seeing him and haven't wrecked his family.
"Would he be mad if he knew I was spying on him??"..... probably. I would be too and I'm homo.
"Would his wife and kids hate me if I approached them and told them about our love affair?" Yes. Don't you think that that would be a normal reaction to a home wrecker? If I were her I'd beat your fucking head in.
"Just because he already has kids would that stop him from adopting kids with me?"..... Jeez...you've only known the guy for a short time, you haven't even destroyed his marriage yet and you're already thinking about adoption???!!
And finally:"Someone give me some advice please."
My advice > Listen. I understand the basic feelings you are having right now. TWENTY ONE years ago I fell hopelessly in love with my best friend. He too is married all these years and has kids. From what I can see he is comfortable in his heterosexuality. I cannot expect him to give up his family or his married life for me. TO THIS DAY I still love him like no one else and I still hope that someday, somehow our friendship can somehow grow to include a physical relationship WITHOUT me being a home wrecker. Such a lifestyle is more common than most people know. Many married guys continue a same sex relationship throughout their marriage. It's just not spoken of or revealed to family members.
If I were you, I would be thankful that at least you know this man the way you do, physically. Stay away from his family. Do not approach his family. Do not reveal anything about your relationship with him to anyone.
If at some point HE chooses for any of this to be different, then OK. But only if he chooses.
Respect his marriage and family. Don't be a clinging vine asshole.
Sincerely, the best of luck to you.
Be carefull what you stick where.
Tobra - non-plussed
-The Nidame
How do you really know what his "true self" is, anyway? You've known him for all of three months -- it's clear from your description that he's bi, at the least. But you seem to be suggesting that he's denying his homosexuality, and it's NOT clear that he's actually gay. There is so much that you don't know about this guy that it amazes me that you would commit yourself so willingly to him, even after discovering his deceit. There may be other men in his life -- or women -- or both. He hid the wife and FIVE children from you rather effectively for the last three months; what else don't you know?
Also, can you even begin to imagine what it would be like to try to play step-dad to someone else's children, particularly in a same-sex relationship? Even if the children didn't live with you full time, "Bruce" would certainly owe child support. Five kids equals quite a financial obligation for quite a while, and not a lot left over for any more clubbing.
As for adopting children -- you would REALLY consider adopting kids with a man who already has five of his own AND who has an established history of difficulty being honest in intimate relationships? You are obviously a risk taker, but I would strongly recommend that you take the kinds of risks that have the potential to pay off for you in the long run.
This man was dishonest to you, but you must understand that the only logical reaction at this point is for you to run, not walk, away from him and consider yourself VERY well rid of him. You're obviously looking for someone who's emotionally and physically available -- as it turns out, he's not the one. Count yourself as lucky that you found out now rather than many months later when the deceit would have been REALLY devastating.