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20, wading through a campus of strangers.
56% Normal
6 Comments

I'm twenty years old and just got back into college. My freshman year was horrible, I made a lot of bad choices and failed a few courses. After taking a year off and a few community college courses I re-enrolled in a university. Now I'm there, been three months, I have an apartment and am doing well in classes. I used to do a lot of drugs, but now I only smoke pot. I used to be fat as well, lost a lot of weight and run daily. Thing is, I haven't made one friend at all. I drive to campus, walk across campus, go to my classes, and then it's back to the car. I smile and make eye contact with people, I just never know how to talk to them. In class I haven't talked to many people, and when I do they usually just talk about the work we are assigned and the conversation is over. So lately I've been just smoking pretty much around the clock, when I wake up, before I run, after I run, during homework. I still have all A's and B's, I guess I'm just depressed as hell that I have no friends. It's college, people are supposed to party and be open, right?
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (6)
BlondeandBlue (13242)
2009-10-12 12:46:03
Hey man go look up some stoner friends, people who smoke weed can always tell who smokes weed or not, within a few min of finding a few pals ur gonna be lighting up with them in no time
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Dormir (29714)
2009-10-12 19:28:44
First off congrats on keeping your grades up! And you run too? I think that's sweet!

Generally college is like that but it's not a one way street. You have to be open too! Try to strike up a conversation with people. My mom used to tell me to not talk to strangers and keep to myself but when I entered the college world I learned that was no way to get to know people. Just ask where there from and what they do after school just regular chit chat and see if they want to hang out with you.

There are few people in the world who will take the initiative to befriend a stranger so if no one is talking to you then talk to them! ^_^
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one_green (29593)
2009-10-12 19:38:34
You say you talk to those in your classes. You are going to have to start turning those "only work" conversations into more. That is the very beginning of getting friends. Think of one person that you think would be cool to have as a friend. Ask something about work in class and then have ready something you can say that is "small talk"....something about anything not related to classwork. And every time you see that person, make it a point to say something. If it doesn't take with one person....don't be discouraged, try another one.

Another thing you should consider doing is thinking about joining a campus organization. You will be with others who have the same interests as you and it will be easier to make friends.
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calistudent590 (29579)
2009-10-14 07:17:11
I totally understand what you mean, I have that same problem. I have a few friends that I talk to on campus and more recently have gotten together with them off campus.
Next time you have to talk about work assigned ask someone how their weekend was or something. That doesn't mean you have to start a big conversation but shows other people that you are open to conversation. You won't make instant friends but its a start.
You're not alone in feeling this way, and I know you can do it.
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shiftysplit (30590)
2009-11-01 16:41:00
It's a stereotype that college is a big ol' party all the time. I know so many people who don't make friends in college and are ok with it. Try making friends elsewhere. Don't fret if college life isn't as cool as you'd hoped. This is just one facet of your life. There'll be much better times to come. Just face the reality of it and don't let yourself get too discouraged.
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dr_jane (30796)
2009-11-05 17:27:18
I just went back to college too, and I'm having the same problem! My friends back home adore me and I'm quite popular there; at my new school people seem so serious or downright angry. It's been three months since classes began, and I'm just starting to feel comfortable. I'm in a similar situation; I used to party a lot and that's how I met a lot of my old friends. The thing is, I don't want to make friends that way this time around...I want my relationships to be healthy and genuine. I've come to the conclusion that it takes a lot longer and a lot more effort to do things this way. Hang in there...I have a feeling that the second semester (when you're more comfortable with school) things will get easier. Also, psychologically, people "like" someone more the more often they see that person. Once you become a familiar (smiling) face on campus, people will be eager to get to know you more. Good luck!!
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