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i had it all, but im giving it all up for cocaine
So i had everything going for me.. im in 2nd year university.. biological sciences.. i came from such a good home.. went to a private boarding school. so anyway im a pretty good looking girl (i used to model).. and i play varsity soccer for my university (i dreamed of this my whole life.. and i finally achieved it) not only did i make the team.. but i was a starter and i would play the whole game... but i messed everything up..after soccer season was done.. i started smoking like a pack a day ... i drink way to much and end up making a fool out of myself ... i always end up getting taken advantage of when im too drunk and regret it the next morning.. also ive been doing alot of cocaine recently... and just stopped trying in school. ive probably went to class maybe 5 times .. i have this really controllive boyfriend who makes me feel so bad about myself..when really hes nothing compared to me.. all my friends were so surprised when i introduced them..everyone thought id be with someone way better looking... but i still keep going back to him. .its like i have a need not to be alone.. i used to be such a fun happy person ..everyone used to love hanging out with me i was honestly the life of the party and probably the funniest person you'd have known.. and i feel like im changing.. i get so anxiouse and paranoid sometimes.. and i dont know .. i dont understand why im doing this to myself. i feel so bad for my parents they pay for my schooling and they have no idea. they give me money which i use for smokes ..alchohol .. or coke.. whats wrong with me? i feel like i messed up my life too much to fix it.. i could have been a doctor.. now i feel like ive messed up my brain so badly from always blacking out from drinking and doing coke ..i mix alchohal and coke together all the time.. which is so bad because sometimes im soo drunk i dont even know what im doing and ontop of that i do coke.. anyway please comment .. i really need advice..thanks
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If you want to stop then go see a professional who will dispense proper advice and charge by the hour.
But whatver you do, stop your fucken whining.
if youre serious for help you'll go seek professionals who will help you.youre first step would be to try and get sober long enough to be able to get to someone in real life who can help you.The first step in something like this is the hardest one....take that step,ask for help, and get your life back.
No matter how much Mrs. Winehouse tells you not to, get into rehab, it'll get you out of the rut if you stick with it. put off education for a bit, talk it out with ur parents, then start over, it'll work out.
This story is fake, I would bet my left nutt. I dont understand what advice your trying to get? Wouldnt you know what you needed to do? Dont ask for advice that you can give your self.
If you don't want to stop doing drugs then you've already wasted your life.
On the surface of it, I'm guessing that at least part of your problem has its roots in unreasonable and/or unnecessary expectations of yourself. You sound like the sort of person who values perfection, yet your definition of "perfection" may not be sound, such as your emphasis on physical attractiveness and its importance in your life. When things go out of alignment for you, you seem to retreat into "reliable" sources of relief, such as drugs, drinks, and smokes. On this sort of therapy, your prognosis is not very good.
As a former user/abuser, my experience was that rehab facilities were almost useless, counseling was somewhat useful, and AA/NA meetings were fairly useful. Most useful of all, though, was bottoming out and losing almost everything. It doesn't have to be like that for you, or really, for anyone.
You need to take a step towards ending this cycle, and only you know where to start. If you were bold enough to write this, then I suggest you use that energy to start looking for some realistic solutions that might work for you. Good luck to you.
i used to just drink and smoke pot skipped school. partied. was a right ferral. now i am a gorgeous 22 yo finishing up my training to be a nurse. im a myself again and succesful.
just stop. stop cold turkey. ditch the ppl that u do all that shit with or maybe move away so u dont know a source to get ur stuff from. u can do it. just think of what its doing to ur aaperance, ur body and ur attitude.