Are You Normal?
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21. Never have had a girlfriend due to heartbreak.
I am having dreams of women almost every single night. I've allready had like 20 dreams total in the past few months. Yes, 20 dreams. I have even counted them and it's been this many.
The reason why is because I am 21 and I am afraid of heartbreak. I am afraid to fall in love with a girl because I feel that if the relationship ever had to end, it would be extremely hard for me to get over it and I would cry all the time. People move, relationships sometimes end, and other things like this happen.
Sometimes I go to this lake at night by myself and I sit on this bench. I live in Madison, WI, so when I sit at this lake by myself, I can see how beautiful the lights of the city are.
I usely end up crying sometimes when I just sit there watching the city from a distance. I am crying because I feel like I am in some kind of loophole.
Point A: If I never find a girl, I'm never going to get over this crying.
Point B: If I do find a girl, the relationship may end, and then I'll end up feeling sad and even cry about that from time to time.
I dont know what to do because I feel like I am stuck. I continue to sit on this bench at night by myself, while tears run down my face.
The reason why is because I am 21 and I am afraid of heartbreak. I am afraid to fall in love with a girl because I feel that if the relationship ever had to end, it would be extremely hard for me to get over it and I would cry all the time. People move, relationships sometimes end, and other things like this happen.
Sometimes I go to this lake at night by myself and I sit on this bench. I live in Madison, WI, so when I sit at this lake by myself, I can see how beautiful the lights of the city are.
I usely end up crying sometimes when I just sit there watching the city from a distance. I am crying because I feel like I am in some kind of loophole.
Point A: If I never find a girl, I'm never going to get over this crying.
Point B: If I do find a girl, the relationship may end, and then I'll end up feeling sad and even cry about that from time to time.
I dont know what to do because I feel like I am stuck. I continue to sit on this bench at night by myself, while tears run down my face.
Do you think it's normal?
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forget the bench and the lake. Get friends a couple of beers and go clubin, meet women and have some fun dude. Life is too short for crying and nursing heartbreaks.
you can do it. go for it dude
Seems to me like youre having an issue with a much larger fact of life than just relationships.
And also, dont wonder into the dark alone.
That plays a part in making you the way you are.
Go out and meet people and dont listen to sad songs or watch sad movies.
So you're saying the reason I am this way is because I listen to sad songs and play sad video games?
Also, when you said I'm having a bigger issue on the fact of life, what did you mean by that?
Thanks.
In perl it would be represented:
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behaviour_here;
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You have to be careful what messages you send to your subconsciousness.
You aquire emotions through a movie even though you know very well its not real.
Same goes for songs and spending time alone in the dark watching over the city imagining sorrow over a woman.
I mean you say it yourself, from your text its obvious the environment you are purposefully putting yourself into (alone in the dark watching over the city lights), is pushing you towards the feeling that makes you cry.
If you dont like that feeling then stop feeding it.
Also, I never watch movies. I mostly play video games so unless you're referring to cut scenes, I guess those can be movies.
But you could be right. The reason I sometimes feel depressed like this is because I probably trap myself in a sad enviroment without noticing it. Such as dark places, lakes, certain music, and so on.
I dont purposely do this (such as Emo), it just happends because my emotions are natural. But as an overall, do you have any comments on my romantic loophole?
Who wouldnt get depressed living like that?
Your loophole is about fear of playing your cards for you might loose.
You have to just play and not let the fear of loosing paralyze you.
Accept loosing sometimes as an inevitable fact of life.
Play play play and when you loose, learn from it.
Then play again.
Only that way can you reach a place where you have a lot to loose.
As my grandmother used to tell me all the time, "u'll never no till u try it"
if you keep on dreaming one night you'll be awake that you are already 50
go out now and make use of your tool
what's the use of your tongue..so speak
I hope this helps your issues.
but if you never give one a chance then you are 100% guarenteeing yourself for one not to last.
I do agree with Mimir that the reason I feel this way is because I am afraid of rejection. But believe it or not, this isn't just women, this is life in general.
Somehow I have to have enough confidence that I will not fail in things I can do.
But even if I do find someone, there will still be some sort of heartbreak because that's a part of life. When it does happen, it's just something I'll have to figure out on coping with.
If I cant accept heartbreak, sure enough, I wont find anyone.......period.
If you stay the way you are, and don't try getting a date, you'll wind up sitting aroud and crying till you're too dead.
If you try getting a date, and it doesn't work out, yeah, you'll be crying again... but you'll have had some happiness at least, and there's always next time.
If you get into a relationship and it DOES work... then you're gonna be happy!
So what have you got to lose? Rejection is bad, sure, but by sitting out like this you're effectively rejecting yourself. Go find someone you like (not necessarily sexually) and just get talking. Doesn't matter how strongly you feel for them - just let the talking go on. You might wind up in a relationship, you might wind up with a solid friendship, you might wind up being rejected. But hey, it's better odds than if you just go cry every night - and the chances of rejection are probably pretty low.
Go for it!