losing control
I am always trying to "lose control" of myself so i can see how i would act and react. I have tried drinking and drugs but always i am in control and calm and rational as ever i just want to get to that point of "no control" and remember it. I blackout some times and that’s when people i know say i do carzy sh*t but i can never remember it. and sleep deprivation is the furtherest got to achieving this, i felt weird but still myself. I want to hear voices and have no control to the point i would piss my pants and do anything.
-suggestions please
I have a similar problem. I am told that I am a complete arse when I am this drunk, however whatever they say I did, I tell them didn't, as I can't of, because I don't remember doing it.
Perhaps you could get someone to video you being an arse. But is this something your really want to see?
- the drift