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losing control
I am always trying to "lose control" of myself so i can see how i would act and react. I have tried drinking and drugs but always i am in control and calm and rational as ever i just want to get to that point of "no control" and remember it. I blackout some times and that’s when people i know say i do carzy sh*t but i can never remember it. and sleep deprivation is the furtherest got to achieving this, i felt weird but still myself. I want to hear voices and have no control to the point i would piss my pants and do anything.

-suggestions please
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Comments (9)
silence (442)
2006-02-25 22:05:28
That shouldn't be a goal you want to achieve.
Reply
citizenpremier (159)
2006-02-26 00:48:45
Hmm, have you tried hitting yourself in the head with a frying pan?
Reply
goog (1405)
2006-02-26 09:06:35
@: citizenpremier
I'v allways said that i dont want ppl to jujge me for whom i am at this moment in time but i supose in my village that wouldn't be possible ppl try to improve on who they are every day and you must be a sad twat to care about someone elses behavier at a time of which you have probebly changed them.
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brothershamass (380)
2006-02-27 06:57:42
@: goog
Unfortunatly, losing control and having blackouts would seem to go hand in hand.

I have a similar problem. I am told that I am a complete arse when I am this drunk, however whatever they say I did, I tell them didn't, as I can't of, because I don't remember doing it.

Perhaps you could get someone to video you being an arse. But is this something your really want to see?
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KC_AKA_DBOY (1410)
2006-02-27 11:48:20
just when i thought ppl couldnt get any weirder...
Reply
giveth (1413)
2006-02-27 22:10:36
right now i am drunk as g*uck, i know tomorrow i will be will be able to rationalize “0this” I just want to get to the point where i won't be able to to. isn’t normal to wonder wghen you end? Is forum is very therapeutic and i would like to t5hanks the creators of this "forum" for that.

- the drift
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Francine_bates (1475)
2006-03-14 10:05:41
Perhaps just lie to people. Create a pseudonym and don't let anyone know who you really are. eventually the lies will keep building and you will really have to work hard to sustain your web of lies. I myself find a great rush from just lying and lying and lying. eventually, someone is bound to discover your secret and calamity is bound to ensue. But, if you ever manage to fool yourself, you know that you are in serious trouble, but I suppose that is what you want anyway.
Reply
bombshell (1483)
2006-03-14 20:20:09
@: Francine_bates
what drugs have you tried? because there are some that would work for this, branch out a little honey :)
Reply
Pentacle5 (2238)
2006-05-27 18:14:46
Success!
It seems to me like you've already lost control of yourself simply by trying. Your life revolves around trying to lose control; that doesn't sound like a person who's in control to me. And that you can't see that just proves it. Anyway, why would you want to lose control of yourself? Haven't you any pride?
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