Hello, I am Dave Matthews, and I want to feature this sad sad story on our website.

Hello, Dave. And may I be the first to say, I have always hated your work. But don't let that spoil your day. Anyone who's been here any length of time at all will tell you I have damned odd taste in music, so you're bound to have plenty of giggly, appreciative fans filing in here in no time. But honestly. I hope not.

athlete's balls?

Fuckin' A'

Yeah I agree with Jan...Dave Matthews is bad.

Dave Matthews is also another synonym for SHIT!

Im going to hunt you down like a dog. No one disagrees with David CumSmangler Matthews, yes that is my real middle name, got beef? ill cook it. Theres more puns where that came from, thats right I did used to write for Pokemon. You dont even wanna know how many times those dirty japs raped my Brown Sugar Hole. Well ill tell you anyway 3 times. The first time was romantic, but the next 2 times it just lost its flavor. Back to the point, im totally going to swallow your bones.

Oh, dear. It's always hard the first couple of days after the last "dose" runs out. You know, in your case, I'd recommend robing a drug store. Anything else might result in something quite unpleasant for those around you. This is undoubtedly the worst advice I have ever given on this site, but I am standing by it nonetheless. Good luck! And just in case anyone asks -- I absolutely do NOT know you ...

How dare you talk to David Matthew's that way, I hope you know that my feet are made of gold, and my socks are made of silver. In other words, the common mans words, because I can tell your a common man by your lackluster advice, Im going to steal all the cats from your house and train them for the military.

OK. I feel at a disadvantage here. Are these words lifted from your crappy lyrics? See, I could go to the trouble of drop kicking this stuff into a lyrics site to find out, but if it's REALLY your stuff, I sort of don't want to go to the bother. On the other hand, if it's just your inspired madness as "CumSmangler", you're my kind of guy ;-)

Are you SweetAngel???