I need help...

Talk with your school counselor about it. He/she can probably help. I know it's hard but take it one step at a time. Then learn some Chuck Norris moves and kick their butts (just kidding).

Yes you do need help. Stop blaming those bullies for your fucked up life.

I blame myself. But they didn't help much, did they?

I'm having trouble with this one. Help me out here.

I've been reading posts here for nearly four months. Some are written by adults; some are written by teens. Most, quite frankly, are not very intelligently composed, no matter what the age range. Yours, however, is quite unique in that it is well articulated, has flawless spelling and nearly perfect punctuation, and is only missing one article, as near as I can tell. In other words, it's quite unique, given the material that usually passes for stories at this site.

Therefore, I question your claim of being 13. But if you ARE 13, the good news is that you are obviously exceptionally bright for your age. And that, my friend, should be your ticket to self-respect AND a little respect from your peers as well. If you're not doing well in school at this time, I have to believe it's for reasons of poor social adjustment and not for lack of interest or inability to understand the material.

From what little I see here, I believe that you have a gift. But it is up to you to take that gift and use it to your advantage. You're going to be dealing with assholes for the rest of your life -- trust me on this; it really doesn't get all that much better as you enter adulthood. Concentrate on the considerable intelligence that you possess and start making it count. I'll look forward to hearing back from you at another time to see how things are going for you. PLEASE don't sell yourself short.

Thank you. :) I pride myself on being among the smartest (and youngest) in my grade. My problem is with my social skills. I got over my academic problems a while ago.

I probably exaggerated in my OP, but the problem is not really aggression. I'm not really that bad a person, and I have several very close friends. The problem that I use that aggression and defensiveness to hide who I really am, and doing that has changed my personality.

It's like a shell that I retreat into.

Some food for thought:

--Who are you now?
--Who would you like to be in the coming months/years?
--What are your academic goals this year?
--Do you have any long-term interests academically that you would like to pursue?
--Do have any have hobbies that you are passionate about?
--What do you do when you feel stress closing in on you that really works for you?
--Can you really open up to your closest friends about what you've just shared here?
--Are your parents aware of the struggles you've described here?
--Are you a perfectionist, and do you think this gets in the way of your success?

Lots of stuff here, I know. But examining some of this might help you to focus on something other than the peripheral issues of aggression and defensiveness, which may just be diverting your attention away from the larger issue of getting on with your life.

You're right. I'm so caught up in this stuff that I forgot about how great my life is.

Thanks for your help. :)

Well be a man and stand up these kids. Most people back off when they see how serious someone is.