still single

My question is why?

I'm 33, decent-looking, interested in life, educated, a good friend, etc. But, despite my wishes, I'm still single. I'd love to meet a nice guy, even have a chance at kids. But time's ticking...and all the guys I have met are either jerks or taken. Maybe I am too picky because I want someone who also loves life, is healthy and reasonably good-looking, critically-thinking, doesn't smoke...I want an equal. I get really impatient, I know, and am working on that. I've also moved around a lot, which may have something to do with being impatient. I've got a lot of good friends scattered around the world...most of whom are now paired up.

I don't get it! Apart from being guilty of lots of unrequited crushes (I'm very romantic and tend to get my hopes up if a guy is nice to me) I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I've turned down attractive men because they were married, crazy, alcoholic, or too religious, which seems to be a sane and reasonable thing to do. When I was (too) young I got marriage offers, but wanted to get my degree and have some life experience. Now it seems the guys my age are all hooked up with much younger women, or else they have severe problems (see above).

Luckily I am now living in Europe where I get a lot more attention than I did in the United States. It seems to be OK that I am educated and athletic! :) But the problem is still there; I've decided I don't want to be a doormat, or date someone who bores me. I don't want to settle - what the heck am I doing wrong?

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Comments (11)

Anonymous

2006-04-04 08:21:39

I feel i'm pretty much in the same boat so can't really offer anything in the way of advice. But no point settling for a crazy guy...better happy and alone that stuck with a loon

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Anonymous

2006-04-09 00:39:23

I agree with the both of you.. I'm in the same boat too....They're more single, professional women out there than I thought..You're lucky though, at least you're out of the country, I'm stuck in a boring east-coast town 'cuz of a lack of funds. (I'm still trying to earn my degree). Hopefully, There's still some good men out there...Keep your head up....My only advice for you; Don't try to look 4 love,...Love finds you when you're not looking.

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Anonymous

2006-04-10 10:47:47

you don't need a man to enjoy dating and intimacy on your own terms. work on being the best possible you, and on accepting others the way they are. you cannot expect to have a perfect guy, and you are being too picky. neither should you settle. try living one day at a time, and not placing yourself in a state of "needing." you only need yourself. long term relationships are a lot of work, and often take away from your own self development. travel, explore the world and further your education while you are young and without the responsibilities of a family. are you exactly the person you want to be right now? or do you have things to work on? you are not old at all, and there should be no hurry at all. societal pressure to marry can be strong, but people are living much longer these days. you have probably 15 more years for healthy childbearing. do you even know if you want children? when you are feeling confident with yourself and accepting of others, they will naturally flock to you. then it will be a matter of your preferences.

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revan (1122)

2006-04-18 09:33:35

@: Anonymous

if u want a guy alot try an internet dating service or just kee[ going at it ur still young

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Loki (1738)

2006-05-07 09:06:56

Hmmm

I think you should aim for a younger guy. I'm 20 and older women are the only ones I get along with. Although I might fit into the "too religious" catagory. Still, pity you're in Europe.

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Anonymous

2006-05-08 14:23:03

Indeed

I'm 19, male, and feel the exact same way. I haven't had an official girl friend because 95% of the girls I see are stupid bitches, and the rest are taken or unavailable for one reason or another. It makes me happy to hear that there are older women like this who actually are intelligent and are holding out for likewise intelligent men. Hopefully I'll find her one day.

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sisophous (3738)

2006-10-17 17:50:39

I question dating services, don't think they are the best way to meet people. Instead, find an activity you really enjoy and inquire about joining a group/organization where such activities are scheduled. For instance, if you like tennis, cycling, painting, sailing, cooking, there are plenty of clubs that participate regularly in these activities and you can meet people who share a common interest. By meeting them, you will see how they interact, their appearances, mannerisms, and be able to pick and choose who you wish to get to know. There's bound to be a number of singles looking for a friend, maybe a lot more. With all the hectic schedules people maintain, pressures balancing work and leisure time, meeting financial obligations, it is understandable that many people have not found the right person.

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mymunchkins (5639)

2007-02-02 02:21:01

Everything pans out in time. Be patient.

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bubbles (6445)

2007-03-13 11:07:43

GET UR ASS OUT THERE AND ASK A GIRL OUT 4 DINNER OR A MOVIE!!!

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24hourman (7306)

2007-04-12 23:04:22

@: bubbles