What do you think?

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Nobody notices or anything but I don't ever really feel normal anymore. I feel weird and different (*unexplainable). Sometimes not very intensely but sometimes pretty intensely. And every once in awhile I have an episode where it's extremely intense. People try and talk to me and their words don't make sense. I'm unresponsive because it doesn't make sense. I'm very embarresed about how I'm acting and I think everyone can read it in my eyes how I feel, and I feel like people can read my brain. And then.. the scariest part is, somebody will say something and be completely NOT talking to me at all.. for instance "I understand what's going on here" and I get a flush of fear and anxiety and everything gets a lot worse feeling because I start thinking stuff like "You do? You do understand whats going on here? How do you know?" and I start freaking out. It hurts really bad too. It hurts to smile. I get really apathetic and sad. And feel very very guilty for not being happy for the people around me and feel guilty because I feel like they think it's their fault.
My friend asked me "Are you having anxiety?" and I got embarresed and scared and said "no".. then later I asked him why he said that and he said he didnt remember asking me that at all.
And there's nothing I can do to stop any of this.