Beatin' my monkey

I've got a terribly big monkey.Its so large and hairy and very muscular.Most of the time I can control it.But sometimes it just wont obey me.

My big monkey will stand up and demand attention.It really swells up to its full size and just sort of bobs up and down waiting to see what I'll do.But what can I do?


It knows that sooner or later Ill have to take matters into my own hands and show it who is boss.So I grab it and I beat the shit out of my monkey.I squeeze it and really jerk it around until it's head is all red and purple and sometimes the beating lasts a while ,most times it dont.I'll be all tired and sweaty and my monkey will be sort of limp and ragged looking.

ButI know it wont be long until my big monkey is rearing its ugly head in my face again and the whole thing will start again.


I tried to get a girl next door to help me with my monkey problem but she took one look at the size of it and said no way she could handle it.Other girls have said the same thing.My sister when she was younger would look at it and giggle but now that she is older she dont look at it anymore but she still asks me how my big monkey is doing and sort of giggles.All she has to take care of is her sweet little kitty.


So I guess until I find someone who can handle my big muscular monkey I'll be taking care of it myself,all day every day.Dont get me wrong,I love having my big monkey,not everyone has one this big but sometimes it can be a burden to find someone who isnt afraid of its size.


It is normal to beat your monkey several times a day ,and while I know its okay to do it ,sometimes I just wish someone would give me a hand?

Do you think it's normal?

All Categories AgingAppearanceArtDrugsExpeditionsFamilyFeelingsFriendsHabitsHealthHobbiesMedical RelatedMiscMusic & EntertainmentObservationsPetsRelationshipsSchoolSexWork