Afraid of Grieve and DSS
Almost two years ago I attempted suicide and had been cuttin myself for six months. I got put in DSS custody. I hated it so much. I didn't express myself or talk. I just lied my way through it because I'm afraid of being trapped. Everyday was like a rude and horrifying experience. I has no choice and it scared me. The people there weren't mean just forceful. When I got out, four months later my mom died. I went to live with my dad. Is it normal that everytime I come close to crying or talking about her death, I get flashback of that place ad cutting myself. I remember how when I called 911 I could have told them how bad it really was. I just couldn't get it out, sort of frozen. I remember not being able to administer CPR. Is it normal to think it is my fault she died? Is it normal to think that if I grieve I'll be put back in DSS custody?