Talking Canine
I greatly enjoy talking to my dog as if he had the anility to talk and was also very intelligent. The dog's name is Winston and he really isn't very smart but I like to pretend he is. Yesterday I had an incredibly interesting conversation with him about the Trinity test. We discussed this particular topic because Winston claimed that he attained his unnatural intelligence in New Mexico when he happened upon some green trinitite and unwittingly ate it. I don't believe this because hes never actually been to New Mexico. He has all sorts of ridiculous beliefs like his conviction that there is only one color in a rainbow. He is poisoning my mind, he wants me to perform unspeakable acts of debauchery on my cat. The cat can't talk and clearly doesn't trust the dog's deceitful, manipulative schemes against her. I hope this isn't all in my head. I don't want Winston to gain complete control over me.
Then go postal.