Disturbing thoughts about my son
Hi everyone, hope you can help:
I had my son 5 months ago. He's a healthy, beautiful baby and my husband and I love him to pieces. I had a normal pregnancy and delivery with no complications. After his birth, I figured I'd have some degree of 'postpartum depression'. I was really weepy for about a week, I was constantly irritated with my husband for no reason, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right? But I didn't expect to have these disturbing violent thoughts involving my son. I imagined leaving him somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no food or shelter. I imagined him screaming and screaming with no one around. I imagined him being mauled to death by a pit bull. I imagined him falling overboard a boat and being eaten by sharks. I would never, ever, EVER in a million years hurt my son. I know this for a fact. WHY WHY WHY AM I HAVING THESE THOUGHTS?!?! I've read of some women having similar thoughts, but is this normal to be going on for so long? I tried talking to friends about it but it seems as though they don't relate or that they haven't experienced these thoughts, so I feel stupid and crazy and embarassed. I'm afraid if I talk to a therapist she'll just put me on some meds and be done with me. I've tried prayer, meditation, igoring the thoughts, etc. Nothing is helping. IS THIS NORMAL? WILL THESE THOUGHTS STOP?