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Disturbing thoughts about my son
Hi everyone, hope you can help:
I had my son 5 months ago. He's a healthy, beautiful baby and my husband and I love him to pieces. I had a normal pregnancy and delivery with no complications. After his birth, I figured I'd have some degree of 'postpartum depression'. I was really weepy for about a week, I was constantly irritated with my husband for no reason, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right? But I didn't expect to have these disturbing violent thoughts involving my son. I imagined leaving him somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no food or shelter. I imagined him screaming and screaming with no one around. I imagined him being mauled to death by a pit bull. I imagined him falling overboard a boat and being eaten by sharks. I would never, ever, EVER in a million years hurt my son. I know this for a fact. WHY WHY WHY AM I HAVING THESE THOUGHTS?!?! I've read of some women having similar thoughts, but is this normal to be going on for so long? I tried talking to friends about it but it seems as though they don't relate or that they haven't experienced these thoughts, so I feel stupid and crazy and embarassed. I'm afraid if I talk to a therapist she'll just put me on some meds and be done with me. I've tried prayer, meditation, igoring the thoughts, etc. Nothing is helping. IS THIS NORMAL? WILL THESE THOUGHTS STOP?
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Comments (12)
x.princess.x (3703)
2006-10-19 14:57:43
They will i think but you need to go and see a professional to help get treated
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Freedomofspeech (3655)
2006-10-19 16:07:24
I'm guessing this is your first child, right? Yes your thoughts are normal. This happens with many new mothers. An enourmous responsibility has been placed upon you. This stress coupled with your harmones doing ninety miles an hour cause the brain to do strange things. Don't worry so much. Monitor your thoughts and if you REALLY feel as if you might harm the child, THEN get help. Good luck.
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CrazyMoFo (1953)
2006-10-19 16:29:09
Maybe u should sit down with ur husband and explain it to him. So ur not going through it alone.
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ieatapples (2710)
2006-10-19 16:34:01
maybe you are having the thoughts because that is something you fear. You fear of something bad happening to your son and you are thinking of the worst scenarios
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roger49 (3711)
2006-10-19 20:11:24
Wow I don't think I've ever seen MoFo post real advice before, and it's good. I think it's a normal response to stress, possibly lack of sleep but I'm not sure how long a baby will keep its parents up. Just make sure you don't act out your thoughts and you'll be fine. It's probably similar to my current thoughts of murdering one of my professors. It will pass, just wait it out.
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claro666 (3773)
2006-10-19 21:52:34
just don't drown him please thanks.
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Shaka_Zulu (3938)
2006-10-19 22:12:57
this is a clinical condition. my cousin had it. it usually only lasts a short while. if it becomes to stressfull see a shrink.
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Roadrunner1 (4058)
2006-10-19 22:15:58
@: claro666
that's a really mean comment...
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forreal (3910)
2006-10-23 11:35:54
You are normal. It doesn't sound like you want to hurt your child or are depressed, you are just realizing that you have something precious to protect. I have three children and had those thoughts with all three but more so with the first because I had more time to think about things. I would invision the most horrible things happening. Now if I find myself thinking those thoughts I follow them up with what I would do if it actually happened- kick the crap out of the dog and get my son to a hospital, jump overboard and save him... I have talked about this with two other moms who have had similar thoughts; so I really do think you are normal.
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JovoG (4150)
2006-10-29 01:22:50
You are not the first person. I think seeing a therapist would really benefit you and help you come out of this and form a healthy relationship with your baby based on love. And, no the therapist will not think you are crazy- I guarantee that they have seen this before!
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loz19 (8889)
2007-06-14 22:18:05
check this out read it all!!hope it helps you may be suffering from anxiety C:Documents and SettingslauraMy DocumentsAnxiety 2 Calm.htm
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loz19 (8889)
2007-06-14 22:23:37
sorry tht was wrong its http://www.anxiety2calm.com/blogger/2006/10/anxiety-and-worrying-disturbing.html
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