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Im in love with my best friend Is he gay/bi?

I am a 22 year old male in love with my best friend of 12 years who is also a 22 year old male. I have never had any feelings like this for another guy, but I think now I might be bi. He claims to be straight, and this is why I am writing to you. We have been best friends forever, and have always been extremly close with each other as normal friends, but I think I might of had a crush on him for several years. I never paid too much attention to it, so it was not a problem. I would do anything for him, and he says the same about me. I always had a sense that he could be gay, or bi, as he has only had one girl friend, and I have never seen him talk about girls, or sexual things. He is a very closed quiet person, very to himself. I have been his ONLY friend for as long as I can remember. Anyways, About 2 years ago, I asked him to be my business partner, and thats when I really started having heavy feelings for him. Whenever we worked, we would
use the same computer, and sit very close to one another on the couch. As time progressed, I started putting my hands on his leg, and then his inner thigh, and so on. We both never said
anything about it, and just acted like nothing was ever happening. One day, it progressed to me rubbing, and playing with his parts. I could tell by how it felt, that he was enjoying
this. This kind of thing went on for quite a while. It was always the same, him just sitting there, and letting me do this to him. He never returned the same kind of action to me, and we never said a thing about it. I started to try to be more aggressive, and trying to build my self up tp kiss him. We were constantly cuddling together, and we would tell each other "I LOVE YOU" Several times we almost kissed, but it did not happen. Then about 2 months ago, I wanted him so bad, I could not take it anymore, and I asked if I could kiss him, because I was sure he would be cool with it. He freaked out to my suprise, and was acting like we had never done anything remotly gay, and told me that he is completly straight. He did not talk to me for several days (the longest sense we met). He said he was freaked out, and he might never talk to me again, as he did not feel like he knew me at this point. Like I was a completly different person. After a few days, he decided he wanted to be my friend, and he would try to forget about it. Well, now we are closer than ever , and we were all over each other tonight, and almost kissed. But like always he pretend like this is normal, and he is straight. Please let me know what you think about this. Is he gay?
Should I confront him, or just take it one day at a time? I know how lame I must sound, but I really love him, and I feel like I will take it as slow as I need to, if I can be with him at some point. Am I wasting my time? Please help
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (9)
sisophous (3738)
2007-01-06 19:58:15
From your story, sounds like your friend is attracted to men otherwise would not be a willing partner to your touching. If someone says no, best not to force it. Likely he is indecisive and apprehensive about his own sexual orientation and is reluctant to admit his attraction towards men. Whether he is gay or bi doesn't really matter, that he says no does matter. Let him resolve his own issues, not for you to do or to pressure him. A lack of communication and honesty from the both of you is a hindrance to your personal fulfillment and likely his too. I don't play games with women, but that's just me, so do as you please.
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crazyme (4954)
2007-01-06 22:06:49
Some of the guys like other guys to touch them or even kiss. But they don't want to return the favor because they are straight. That maybe their fantasy and they only want other guys to do it. I know a friend that is straight and his friend is gay. The gay guy always give him bj or let him do it but this straight guy dont do bj back. They both may like the feeling and the straight guy may be bi. But he never admit he's bi. From your story, this guy really like from what you're doing. Why don't you just take time to do more stuff while doing it, like kiss. Let's see how he reacts for a few times. If you tell him now. He might not talk to you again and maybe loose a best friend. I think he's wonder about being with you and enjoy that. From what you said.. he got mad then he came back and talked to you again... and you guys continue to do it...i think he wants to have the feeling from a guy do it for him, but not want to be gay or bi. Why not ask him to do it to you???? TO see what he will say
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arktik (5136)
2007-01-06 22:33:06
you gay nigga
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expiredlastjuly (5146)
2007-01-07 03:33:47
i think that you should continue in the cuddling/fondling and see how he reacts or if he begins to return the favor. also, instead of ASKING to kiss him.. just wait for an opportunity to come up itself. i think he is confused and scared and doesn't want to admit that he wants you so he tries to act like nothing is going on and denying it. wait until you two are "canoodling" and when you're getting really into it just get your face really close to his and hold it there. see if he looks away or not. if not.. just kiss him and see what happens. if he tries to get angry with you for it talk it out with him and explain that he had given off signals that he was in to it and you care about him more than anything.
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sparky84 (5044)
2007-01-07 08:52:54
i think you need to get past this, youre friend really doesnt know what he wants and you do. I think you might be invading his personal space so just be cool and let him do the moves not you if you think hes bi/gay. also i think hes obviuosly not ready for this type of relationship if hes still adament he straight so just be a friend to this guy if you cant stop being friends and try to move on for youres and his sake.
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hiker (11794)
2007-11-19 03:39:17
Wow--this story is similar to mine. My best friend and I sometimes sit close and I give him massages. He has allowed me to pull down his pants and seems to enjoy it. I also have seen him look at me in the urinal and he has angled himself so that I could see him. He likes to spend almost all of his free time with me. But he never reciprocates. I get very turned on by him, but am unclear as to what he wants. He absolutely denies being gay and talks about women, but never seems to pursue them either. Any thoughts?
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imromanian (12133)
2007-12-08 16:31:35
wow... first... i'm from Romania and sorry for my language... i am 15 years old... this is like my story... i have a best friend, i love him, but i don't know if he's gay... when we are sleeping, i grab his **** and he's excited, i hug him, i have almost kissed him, but good things never happend... but, he's returning the work except grabbing the ****... i put my hand on his ass, i hug him, i'm putting my leg over his in sleep... and he's making the same thing to me... when i'm "sleeping" with him, i can't sleep... and he can't too... i hear his eyes opening, looking on the window... when we are waking up, he starts to say me that i'm gay, or other things, but he's looking like he's joking... he never said that to other friends... he always talk about girls but he's neveg got one... i saw him looking at other boys, but i've never said that... when we were sitting in the same desk at school he was always looking at my underwear... but at highschool we have been separated... i've decited to tell him next time when we will sleep toghether when he is sleepy, sometime after 1-2 am when the game is on... but i'm afraid... what happends if he's leaving me??? we're not so good friends... :(( give me an advice please!!! it's he or not gay?
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falloutsuit (12358)
2007-12-22 00:20:25
@: imromanian
nice english, seriously only a few gramatical errors, anyway, i think he might be gay but i know how you feel im gonna post a story soon about it but i am so afraid of telling my friend that i love him cause i dont wanna lose him, its hard and when it feels right just ask him, if you have AIM, MSN, or any instant messanger, I'd joke around on that first, say like "Hey i love you" or something like that and see how he responds, if its negative say "jk" or something like that. lol if anything didnt make sense let me know, good luck man
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blah13 (12805)
2008-01-10 00:39:10
whoa, its good to see im not the only one with this problem.
i honestly dont know what to do anymore.
i have the same thing going with my best friend..we just recently started talking again but it was for different reasons.
anyway he already knew i liked him, and it turns out he likes me too...or so he says.
he loves it when i rub him, massages ect. and he actually made the effort to kiss me once.
it seems like it would be fine right?
well when i confront him about it he says he doesnt know what to do, because im the first guy hes ever been attracted to.
it pisses me off because i have really strong feelings for him, and he says stuff and then hes not sure. i dont know what to do and it really hurts. :/ any ideas?
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