I want to hit them

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but I think, from what you said, that you may have some anger issues. I don't think it's normal to hit anyone for what think or say, especially not a female. Maybe she was just trying to open up to you a little, and you just shut the door on that. I also find it sad that all you can think of is whether you're going to get in trouble and/or sent away. This really seems like a really selfish attitude after you've assaulted someone. My advice is to take an anger management course of some sort, or get some counselling before you blow up again and hurt more people.

Hi I feel very sorry for your loss, and you are sounding like you really need someone to talk to over your issues. You have alot of mixed emotions building up in you at the moment and you need some help and guidance, You sound an intelligent person though and you obviously know that what you have done is wrong, please dont hit out again at anyone this wont help you in the long term. Try to deal with yourself, you are not ready to deal with other peoples problems yet, learn to deal with yours first, get yourself strong, you can do this, I know you can, hope this helps..

I don't mean to be selfish- on the contrary I think that suicide is about the most selfish act you can commit.

That she would think about -and vocalize it - because she dumped a fuck-toy pisses me off.

Families without financial support, without emotional wholeness, without closure... How selfish can one be? Wallowing in you misery is one thing but if you want to inflict that kind of pain on the people who love you you deserve to be smacked imo

But not everyone holds the same views as you, nor should they. I don't really think suicide is a selfish act. I don't know why your dad did what he did, but he probably had his reasons. I think it takes a lot of courage to leave life on your own terms. However, I also think it's tragic that so many leave families behind to mourn in pain over their death, but it's bound to happen eventually.

I am so sorry you lost your dad :( I think that wanting to hit peopel who talk about suicide is normal, especially because of what you have been through. You might have some anger problems, but everything must be so so hard for you to cope with at the moment and its not your fault you feel so strongly about this. Just try not to hurt people. Because you could start loosing friends. Try to talk to people you trust about this. I hope things get better for you and your family.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I wouldn't feel too badly for the smack you gave your friend. A true friend would understand why you lashed out as you did.

Thanks guys...
Corbin:
I agree that it does take some bravery to commit suicide, but it is incredibly selfish when there are people who love you. Better to stick it out instead of indulging yourself in one final act. I do see how people may wish death on themselves, I've been there, but 9/10 times the people who are talking about it have experienced something so trivial that while in their own minds it may feel like the world is ending, they need a smack to get their priorities straight. A smack to tell him "hey, wake the fuck up"
Lucy and Lady: Thanks, I know I have some anger issues, and I am seeing a therapist who is kind of helpful... I am thinking of taking up kickboxing or something, or doing something symbolic like kicking the shit out of my dad's headstone and getting the anger out (half-joking there)
Freedom and stargirl: Yeah, I guess she should have at least thought about her words when they were so extreme. Normally I am the friend everyone comes to to vent, even now, but I guess I came out of the whole thing with a soft spot.

I appreciate the thoughts, thanks :)

I don't want to sound like an insensitive asshole here, and if I do, I'm truly sorry for that.

I think your opinions can be turned around the other way as well. Someone could see you as being the selfish one by expecting your dad, friend, or whoever else it may be to stay when they really don't want to be here at all. Though I agree that, most of the time, the problems that lead one to be, act, or even pretend to be suicidal may seem rather trivial, trivial itself is a term that is relative to one's own perspective of things. For example, how are you supposed to determine what someone elses priorities are? Should you assault someone for not having the priorities that you set forth for them? It looks like the world will indeed end some day, the only question is when.

While it is socially "polite" to say that all feelings are relative, I don't quite think that my friend had justification for saying what she did. You don't threaten to kill yourself because its cloudy out. You don't kill yourself or threaten to kill yourself because you lost a dildo with legs, wich is the way she herself described him. You especially don;t say that in front of me. I am always there for her, she should have thought about me.
As for the world ending... that is irrelevant. My dad took himself away from his entire family, destroying us and scarring deeply. How am I being selfish by believing that committing suicide is selfish? He had family, children, a wife. He was financially and emotionally responsible for me and my siblings. If he was not being selfish,he would have sought help. He would have let us know. He would have at least left a support system that would not leave us in financial shambles.
So he did not want to stay in this world? all considering that was a selfish thought in and of itself.
No, you are right, I should not have assaulted her. It was not the right response. However what she said was rediculous, no matter how politically or socially correct anyone claims to be. She either needed a perspective change or some medication. I guess I wanted to tell her that she was being an idiot, and with all my emotions about what happened, it took the form of a single angry punch.

From what you've said, I think you're both somewhat selfish. Yes, your dad for starting a family then abandoning them, as well as you for expecting him to stay when he doesn't want to. Suicide isn't always a selfish act, and whether someone else does it or not is not your decision to make. Obviously your dad didn't want to stay, or he would have. I know it's sad for you and you're angry about it, but it's the truth. Life has been forced upon all of us, and as hard as it may be to believe, some people just don't want it.

"From what you've said, I think you're both somewhat selfish. Yes, your dad for starting a family then abandoning them, as well as you for expecting him to stay when he doesn't want to. "

Because I expected him not to kill himself does not mean I am selfish, nor anyone in my family. How can you just sit there and accept what my dad did. So he wanted to die? Oh thats peachy, if you expected him to be there for us its selfish. Methinks you have no idea of what you are talking about.

You say your dad killed himself. What is there to not accept? Well, I suppose you could not accept something that is already done, but I'm not sure it will do you any good, since the past is fixed. Personally, I don't have any expectations of anyone. Why do you think that I don't know what I'm talking about?

Oh, and everyone is selfish sometimes. I think that may have something to do with the fact that every individual is his or her self. You think in terms of what you think, and I think in terms of what I think.

I accept what he did. It happened.
I don't think his reasoning was acceptable and therefore I am not being selfish when I am angry about his actions.
I also didn't find my friend's reasoning the least bit acceptable. I guess I was wrong to hit her, but I don't think that her reasoning justified what she said to me.
I am not being selfish when they do things that are wrong. Even if they think they are right, and I know that people have different values, what they did and said is simply not acceptable to a person who is viewing from a distance.
Nobody agrees with what my dad did.
I don't agree with what my friend said, and in my mind at the time it justified giving her a wake up call in the form of a slap/punch. I agree, it was a bit much, but I don't see how being selfish is a part of it.
I am a selfish person to some extent, but I think my disgust of the act of suicide is not selfish. Its not justified, its not acceptable. At least in the two experiences I had with the idea.

I don't think you have the authority to determine what is acceptable and what isn't. You have only stated your opinions, and I have stated mine. It's obvious we disagree.

I, like many other people, see life as a gift. A real gift, like at Christmas time. You open it and can find many different things, but they come at random. Some people end up the the deed to a mansion and a billion dollars, others end up with a lump of coal, and still others get that ugly knitted sweater from grandma that your mother forces you to wear to school. Some people don't want this gift, so they throw it away or tuck it deep in a drawer so it's never seen again, while others just make the best of the situation. Either way, It's the individual's gift to do with as he or she pleases. Yes, it may be offensive to some, and this person may seem ungrateful and selfish, however, ultimately it's his or her decision, so who are we to judge?

You don't start a family and then walk out on them. His present became ours when he became a husband, a father, and a provider. His life was part of us, and I understand you are probably like "Its my life, I can do what I want with it" but I believe more in responsibility than in selfishness.

Wow. im sorry to say you need help before u get in alot of shit =(

I could argue with you until the end of time, but it would be futile. Is it responsible to be so dependant on your dad that you expect him to always be there for you? Would it be any different if he had died in a car accident, or developed cancer? It's only your personal opinion of suicide that is making you so pissed off.

I think it is more than a personal opinion that what he did was selfish. In his case, and in the case of my friend, choosing to end your life when it is attatched to others is selfish. The only people that gained are themselves, with disregard to those around them. Thats what selfish is.
So maybe you have a different quality than selfishness in your mind when you say that it is only my personal opinion. Maybe you don't understand the situation, but then again, I can't expect you to.

fizzy where did u hit her?

Your first sentence itself is contradictory. :D
What you think is personal opinion. When is your life not attached to others? How do you become detached from family? I think most suicidal people will tell you that's the most difficult part of committing the act - leaving family and friends behind. And I wanted to add that situations do change. Your dad probably had no intention of killing himself when he started his family, but situations changed, and in his mind he probably thought he was better off dead. So how can you tell who gained or lost? For all we know, he could be burning in hell. That's what my Aunt told me when I asked her what happened to people who killed themselves. :D
You're right, I don't normally think selfishness is synonymous with suicide. That's just what society tells us.

It is not contradictory that I think I am right. I believe it is not my only my personal opinion. I believe that what you are thinking is off kilter morally, or that you lack enough perspective to see the situation as it really is. You are right that I will not chnge hat you think, but I shouldn't make that my goal. It is just a personal circumstance and it makes it difficult to hear people with opinions such as yours which I believe to be incorrect.
I never said suicide is easy. In their cloudy warped heads it may seem justified, but the act is selfish. They lack perspective to see that most often what they are doing is most often unecessary, hurtful, and the key word of this post: selfish.

My dad was selfish. Maybe he though he was right, I don't know if he did it altruisticly or if he wanted an fast way out. Either way I don't really give a shit.

I actually attempted suicide twice, and I am not proud of it. In my depressed and confused mind I thought it would be a wonderful way out, and that perhaps people would be better off without me. Later, after I was diagnosed and given therapy and medication, I realized how much I had hurt those around me, financially and emotionally. My dad knew how much I had hurt him personally. How could he in his right mind condemn me to similiar pain, probably worse pain? That makes me angry.

Thanks for humoring me Corbin :) its good to work things out through a intelligent devil's advocate like you :P thanks for respecting my opinions throughout. I see where you are coming from, but talking has basically worked my anger out lol

My friend forgave me. She thinks I shouldn't have hit her. I proably shouldn't have, but the emotions that lead to the stupid action have not changed.

I hit her on the forehead, wasn't really aiming but it was too hard :

Yep, I think you have me totally analyzed. Congrats. Corbin - the devil's advocate with off-kilter morals. Though I can't really say I have any kind of relationship with the devil, I'll agree my morals may seem off-kilter. I just see morality, in some forms, as being highly opinionated propaganda that has been force fed to society through various means. I can define my own morals, thanks :D

I'm glad you haven't taken offence to my opinions, and it's good to hear that you worked things out with your friend.

i'm really sorry for your loss. I think u need to talk it out with a specialist. It might help.