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SAD ALL THE TIME
Is it normal to feel sad and depressed all the time? I have been this way for years. I have felt this way for 15 years that I can remember. I have been in therapy off and all for the same amount of years. I am in therapy now but it never helps. I have been on every depression med. that you can think of. Nothing helps. I have been finding myself wondering what it would be like to be dead. Some nights, I even lay in bed with my boyfriend and show him what I would look like in a casket. I have tried to commit suicide when I was 18 but never tried again. I know that I won't ever try again because I have 3 beautiful children that I do not want to leave. I just can't stop thinking about death and wondering what it would be like not to have anymore problems. I also wonder if people would care enough to miss me.
I have a lot of medical problems now that don't help the depression any at all. All the therapists ever want to talk about is what is going on in my life now. Never anything that has happened to me in the past. I was mollested by a family member when I was just a young child but for some reason the therapists NEVER want to talk about that. I do bring it up, but they swear that my depression is caused by what's going on now. I believe it's due to childhood problems. What do you think? Am I normal or just some freak like I have been told? Thanks for any comments that may be submitted.
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Comments (14)
Anonymous
2005-06-02 10:55:01
get a new therapist. That is a very serious issue that any legitimate therapist would not ignore.
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-06-02 16:02:47
depressed all the time is not normal all though there are many people that are. so what is normal you ask. it is a very fine line. life has its ups and downs your never going to feel one Cretan way all the time but you can be generally happy with the right therapist yours wants to talk about the future when your still stuck in the past. haunted by your horrible childhood incident . the fascination with death seem to be your exape from reality to dream of no problems and that every one loves you everyone has some kind of fetish yours just happens to be death as long as you don't really hurt your self or someone else I guess its nothing to ponder over but you should tell your therapist just to get a professional opinion I would tell you to get a new therapist #1 get a good antidepressant run a nice hot bubble bath turn on some soft music and just relax and breath if you have scattered thoughts just listen to your self breath try to clear your mind make that day your day do every thing for you go shopping eat your fav meal read a good book get to know what makes you happy good luck to you I hope every things works out for the best

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Anonymous
2005-06-03 14:20:59
@: Anonymous (Story Author)
its ok
your not a freak...many people have problems.........i think you need to find God...maybe you dont want to hear that but hes the best and only way to be happy......good luck and i hope you find peace
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Anonymous (Story Author)
2005-06-03 20:04:36
@: Anonymous
THANK YOU
I just want to thank all of you for your comments. It makes me feel better just knowing that someone cares. And I just wanted to say that I do have GOD in my life. I do look to HIM for support. Once again...thank you all.
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Anonymous
2005-06-16 19:19:00
@: Anonymous (Story Author)
WHOA
I think you need to check into a mental hospital, and let your boyfriend have the kids since obviously you do wish you were dead.....if you lay in bed acting like you are in a coffin. And being that unhappy is not healthy around your kids. You need some serious help, commit yourself for the kids sake
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kittenemmibug (234)
2005-06-17 16:43:58
If you were abused as a child, you need to address that before anything else. I suggest you change your therapist. If you do feel like killing yourself because of this, then you need to think about how you would feel if it happened to your children and you werent there. You need to look to your children for the spiritual energy you need to get you through this. Remeber, God put your children on this earth for a purpose...
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Element10010 (520)
2005-06-30 16:18:09
That is definitely not a good therapist. Depression can be caused by events that happened, and just made worse or continued by current events. Did you stay on the meds for a while? Some take 2-3 months to work properly.
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heathinv (450)
2005-09-09 19:30:31
nobody can die without being missed
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cato (769)
2005-09-21 20:31:28
This entry is somewhat old at this point, but I can't help but comment on one point. How could you think you wouldn't be missed when you have kids?
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reymundo (2085)
2006-05-15 12:49:45
set some goals for yourself so you will feel worth living. always strive for higher goal. when you accomplish one, try to set another one. the sky is the limit.
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yates (3218)
2006-12-15 14:05:16
You need help. Talk to a counselor, head shrink, priest, but talk to someone. Oh, yes, try your parents if they are around.
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mindfreak (4990)
2006-12-28 21:54:17
its called depression. see a councellor or someone in that kind of field.
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SadWorld07 (10597)
2007-09-14 17:46:14
Every girl I know has molested or raped at least once in their life time. U have to realize that its their fault not urs. And get over it. . . and ur therapist sux.

Many people are depressed and feel how you do. At least alot of people i know~!

When i am alone all i do is cry. . . I hide how i feel from everyone.

I just dont see the point in living. . Life suced growing up, life sux now and its going to suck in the future obviously since older people are as depressed or more depressed than younger people.

Life doesnt get better . .
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SadWorld07 (10597)
2007-09-14 17:48:16
@: reymundo
What if ur goals are unreachable? Then what do you do??

when you finish one goal, then create another one. . . you will never be satisfied, you will always want more or expect more from yourself. . .
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