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So I didn't pay for her

Ok, a few weeks ago, i took this girl i really liked out on a couple of dates. I asked her out again and she said no and never really gave me a reason why. A couple days ago, a mutual friend had asked her about our date and the first thing she brought up was that when we went ice skating, she had to pay for herself. Which she did, we each paid for ourselves. I didn't think she would be upset about that but apparantly she was. I offered to pay a couple of times but she seemed adament that she pay for herself. The way she said it I just didn't want to get into an argument with her so i let her pay for herself. She seems like an independent girl and all so I didn't argue with her. It just kills me to think this could be the reason why she didn't want to see me again. I really want to talk to her about this but am unsure of what to say. I just want to somehow convey to her how strongly i feel for her.
Do you think it's normal?
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Comments (18)
sisophous (3738)
2007-01-28 15:13:45
Sounds like you both have a communication problem, something very common when dating or meeting new people. Did you offer to pay initially? If you didn't and she covered for herself, she may have become irritated and later refused your offers. There's no protocol today for who treats or covers on a date, but traditionally it is the guy since he is the one who more often approaches the girl.

I once opened the car door for a girl and she got irritated and said she could do it herself. Following week, while with a different girl I let her open the door herself and she asked me if I had any manners and why I don't open the door for her!

Bottom line, you can't always win, so brush it off and move on. This girl you mention likely had guys treat her in the past and since you did not follow suit, she took it as an offensive non gesture on your part. I wasn't there obviously, but just my take on your story. Find another girl.
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roger49 (3711)
2007-01-28 16:31:26
That sucks man. As a rule of thumb I insist on paying and opening doors and the like, there are some exceptions, like if we argue about it for a bit and she convinces me that I should let her pay. There's really no way to tell until it happens, all you can do now is move on. If she's going to tell you she wants something different than what she wants and then brush you off for what you did, you don't want to be involved with her anyway.
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george_bojo_II (5543)
2007-01-28 18:30:04
ummmmm. i don't know!
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Mimir2 (3348)
2007-01-28 19:22:41
Woman have a very big double moral regarding this.
They all pretend not to want to get paid but they all do.
For what you can figure out yourself.
And they very often retaliate with cheap diss talk behind your back if you dont.
Unworthy beings.

Be glad she didnt want to see you again.
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Shaka_Zulu (3938)
2007-01-28 19:23:36
i'm just like rog in that regard. i have notice that if you surprise them. their mind is still spinning so they can't argue successfully. like with dalene, she was starting to argue with me bout whose shout it was last night & i grabbed her & planted a long hard deep one on her right in the middle of the restaurent then causally turned around & paid while she was still composing herself. she tastes so nice when she had been drinking.

every woman i have dated seems to have a different flavour.
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Rory2424 (4424)
2007-01-28 22:48:54
this is the poster. Yes, i initially offered to pay and she said no. I then told her i wanted to pay and again she declined. Also, this was our second date and i didn't kiss her. My friend said that since i didn't pay for her or kiss her she may have a problem with me not being assertive enough and that it might be a good idea to just go up to her and kiss her and see her reaction.
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Shaka_Zulu (3938)
2007-01-28 23:09:26
thats wat i suggest.
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roger49 (3711)
2007-01-29 14:31:27
Here's what you do, you let them make a deal with you that the next time they get to pay for both of you, and then you go back on the deal at the next date.
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Nodo_TheRanter (5564)
2007-01-29 15:08:07
She's a greedy golddigger man, consider yourself lucky.
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crazyme (4954)
2007-01-30 02:41:17
Hey where's my comment I posted for this story???
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santi (5734)
2007-02-06 23:01:16
good thing!
how about paying a Rolex for her...
you're lucky...
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kristina_696969 (6736)
2007-03-22 10:23:53
She sounds like a prep or popular kid... yeah... the drama queen! Everything has to be her way! thing is she doesn't know what she wants either! So how are you supposed to figure it out!

Suggestion get her aside sit down and ask her, tell her you need to know and if not for her for yourself to know!
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MightOfTheMass (6096)
2007-03-22 10:34:06
She was probably dissapointed you took her ice skating instead of shagging in a cheap hotel.
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cooleobec (7641)
2007-04-18 02:12:43
i think that theres no prob with u just shes a bit of a maneater (someone that goes out with someone then dumps them) and a bit of a slut
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bouncexmysoul (3948)
2007-05-05 18:23:00
Bullshit! Why has our society become so stereotypically sexist? Since when does a guy need to pay for his girl? Tell your friend he needs to be smacked around.
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Killington (1913)
2007-06-10 13:11:29
you know the fucking answer why are you asking us dipshit
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popdafoo (9943)
2007-08-18 21:55:16
Are you an idiot? She is testing you when she says that she wants to pay! I went to go see a movie with a girl, and she said that she wanted to pay for her own popcorn. I aruged until she finnally let me pay. She was happy, and the arugment was I joke. I actually wouldn't let her pay. Next time you go out with someone, refuse to let them pay!
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theprofessional (9228)
2007-09-02 09:14:39
listen girls are bitching hipochrites she payed becauses she wanted to be all independent and not having a man pay for the date made her feel all 21st century strong independent bitch but when it comes down to it all girls wana be treeted better than guys they want stuff being brought for them and they dnt wana be paying for a man when out for adate but then there stupid bitchin kiks in and there all like damb that man made me pay form my own date omg he aint no gentelman........ what a fuking sexist


that carries on from the stupid biatch just slap her and call her a sexist pig
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