Am I out of control?
I was in a spar with another student yesterday & my teacher was showing lee how to do a particular move & took his place temporarily. as he was demostrating he asked me to complete the move. Instead of doing jsut what he wanted i felt a wierd rush & went all out for a second & managed a parry 2 move slice & stab so agressively that he has splinters in his forearm & a bruise on his chest jst beside his armpit. (we use wooden swords in training) I dunno what came over me. i was really sorry but now i think everyone hates me or something. they look at me funny. i got a long lecture from the dojo masters about excersising self restraint & they threatened to kick me out of the classes to ensure the safe tutilage of the other students if another incident happens. I went home & i couldn't figure out why i had snapped. all i remember was, standing infront of him, i felt like i was about to run through a burning building & i liked it. i've seen my teacher in a tournament fight & he is awesome. i probably only landed those hits cos he was caught by surprise. he is third ranked in aussie & NZ. is it normal to completely lose it like that sometimes? wat feeling was that? my gf says it was a master-pupil power trip thing. (she is studying psychology at uni) u recon?
Its normal, people do random things, but ask a psychatrist or counseler
this is a list of thinks he said i need to be aware of.
1.mild but persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.
2.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (suicidal or self-mutilating behavior & disregard for my life i.e extremes of activity that is potentially life threatening)
3. unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
4.Impulsivity in areas that are potentially self-damaging (extreme sport, promiscuous sex, substance abuse, reckless driving).
5. preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
6.Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
7.excessive self sacrifice with disregard for personal circumstances to define relationships.
there is quite abit in his notes. thats pretty much the gist of it.
I'M LAUGHING AT YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!