every time? Theyre currently refferred to as fat mans and little boys!

not ever time just like 1/4 of the time

its just a lincoln log.

Thats some heavy shit... Try uh... shitting more often or drinking more fluids. The longer you hold the log, the more dehydrated it becomes, the denser it becomes, the heavier it becomes, and when that somavabitch comes ramming out of yer ass... BAM! water splashes your hiney.

Then again, maybe it is good to freshen up your asshole after a big shit.

get a colonic irrigation.

I don't think it freshens it up any, I know that I personally pee before taking the shit. So really I'm being splashed by urine. I find that when the shit is short and has farther to drop the likelihood of splashback is greater. It has more time to pick up speed before hitting the water so it hits with more force. I think the solution is to eat more fiber so it all comes out in one long piece.

Take a few squares of toilet paper and lay them on the surface of the water before you 'purge the bilge. This will lessen the affects of splash back via principles of contact-dispersal. This is known as the 'landing strip'

i'm a cronic land stripper. i occasionally block the public l;oos. (no u know hu to blame.)

;)

you've got a dense poopy!

ffs shit in a bowl, put it in the freezer and sell it to a mate as ice cream :)

eat prunes!!!

here some really tip, throw some toilet paper in there, dob't be a tree hugger, use them paper like they killed your family

There are regulations to handling loads of this nature.OSHA law states all loads over 3 Lbs must be hand lowerd.

get nearer to the toilet hole

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.