What do you think?

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hey guys, recently I started to develop a fond liking to my straight flatmate. My relationship to him is strictly "straight" and friendly. But after seeing stuff that he does around the house, like walk around almost half naked with THAT great physique he has...damn.. its a turn on.
He knows im gay and all, but doesn't know anything about the feelings i have towards him.

Apart from the physical attraction i have... there are other things that really get me all warm and tingly inside. Like he has this smell that can be rather intense to a stranger, but after a couple of months getting used to it.. i now i cant get enough of it.

SO my problem today is.. yesturday.. i did the most unthinkable thing!
While he was gone for a couple of days visiting his family, i went into his room (he doesnt lock his bedroom door for some unknown reason) and well after checking it out i found a pile of some dirty pair of undies.
Well.. naturally i started to get turned on thinking they were used. I picked up a pair and started to smell it. Unluckily that pair was clean and washed. But as for the second one. DAMN it reaked of mansmell.
Suddenly all these thoughts in my head came flooding through, things like... OMG his c*ck was in this, OMG his precum is smeard all over this, and PUBES!PUBES and more PUBES!
With all these thoughts in my head.. i ran to my room with the biggest boner i had. I obviously did my man needs.

So yeah, disgusting it may be... it turned the hell out of me. It was the first time i have did it, and well i dunno if it will be my last.
But it still hasnt stopped me from doing other things.

Another thing that i did was.. well.. he is a very sexual type of guy, bringing girls home to do and stuff. Well... the wall above his head.. i noticed.. a couple of stains that looks as though it squirted from some thing and trickled down to the back of the bed. Then i realised that it was cum. Cos cum yellows when it has been kept uncleaned for ages.
Anyways, i did the most unthinkable, i smelt it. Yes i smelt his cum on the wall. At first it grosed me out... but naturally i turned the dirty disgusting thoughts into something sexual.
Anyways... i know that all of this might have sounded disgusting.. But i dont believe it was. I believe that if u want something so bad and u cant have it.. u start to yearn for it.. and things that normally isnt so.. becomes possible and natural.. that all in all, I guess its normal!?

But i just want ur thoughts on this.

Do u think that what i did was not normal to say the least?
anyways.. please be kind with ur comments.
Thanks